User Tag List

Page 159 of 162 FirstFirst ... 59109149157158159160161 ... LastLast
Results 1,581 to 1,590 of 1614

Thread: 3rd wave feminism

  1. #1581
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    533

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    I was thinking about this possible cognitive dissonance you mention.

    I think when people use social media/forums/etc that they are typing and somewhat behind a safe wall of anonymity, so they often are working out thoughts and feelings and broadcasting them in a way they wouldn't do in "the real world." People start to have strong feelings about other people and groups that aren't always going to be felt as strongly when dealing with "real" individuals.

    I think it's possible to be a misandrist/misogynist online but not feel the same dealing with "real" people (largely the reason I just left several MGTOW communities online), especially when sinking into these various online communities and seeing a chorus of others preaching to the choir. Minor insecurities and frustrations echo throughout and are amplified. It's then sometimes difficult to reconcile our attitudes formed via online interactions with those formed in the "real" world. Similar or related to the phenomenon of internet assholes who are very nice people in the real world.
    Yeah, I agree. There's an "echo chamber" effect, where everyone gets on board and magnifies the theme up to ridiculous extremes.

    I recognized the "echo chamber" effect when it was happening here at TypoC. I mainly just brought it up in this context mainly as a reminder: It can even happen here with the distinguished posters of TypoC.

    In other words, It's not just a Twitter phenomenon or something that happens at bad-boy places like MGTOW. With someone like Salome working everyone into a froth, the women here at TypoC can become pretty toxic too. I really do remember being kind of stunned at how the women of TypoC bought into the "rapey male" meme and echoed it back and forth among themselves. (And frankly, I still kind of hold it against them. I figured they should have known better.)
    Likes Anaximander liked this post

  2. #1582
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp
    Posts
    7,124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    With someone like Salome working everyone into a froth, the women here at TypoC can become pretty toxic too. I really do remember being kind of stunned at how the women of TypoC bought into the "rapey male" meme and echoed it back and forth among themselves. (And frankly, I still kind of hold it against them. I figured they should have known better.)
    Absolutely. It's probably best to just let them rail and vent. They're not bad people, just frustrated, like most people on this miserable planet are frustrated about one thing or another.

    I Only have a problem when anyone takes that frustration and actively acts it out against others. Otherwsie, it's probably healthy to be able to discuss it with the like-minded.

    It's probably best men just avoid threads about mansplaining and unwanted attention from males. Unless they want to bash other men, I suppose.
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"
    http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code

    http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf

    http://www.aikidoseiki.com/doc/aikid..._peace_eng.pdf

  3. #1583
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    533

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Yeah. I can relate to that defensive position. It's very understandable. Having been through trauma and shit, I don't think that viewpoint or desire is unhealthy initially. Anger isn't a bad thing. (Omg! ) I guess what you do with it is the bigger question. But if venting on the interwebs gives you some peace or catharsis. Cool.

    Listen, I may not be a fan of the MGTOW for long term coping strategy.

    Btw, and I told my mom the same thing when she would talk very bitterly about the future or getting involved with men because they're all have the same propensities, etc. Growing up, I saw her bitterness towards what happened to her as natural. There was no blame there, you follow?

    Yet, I also saw her own failings, where she needed to grow and closing down was...Hmm, how to say it? Analogy time:

    You got a short in an electrical circuit causing sparks...you pull the fuse rather than find the source of the problem and do work. Pulling the fuse works. It stops further damage from occuring. It can also give you time to diagnosis or find the short, right? So that's valuable. But yeah, I mean finding and fixing that short will return the current to the system, you know?

    So...

    As far as a long term coping strategy, I don't think it's particularly healthy for those reasons. One isn't doing a lot of hard work. That's my personal opinion on it.

    People make their own choices and live their own lives and if it doesn't affect me personally/negatively? I mean, I can still have an opinion on something without caring about it. Lol.
    There's still the problem that I mentioned earlier:

    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    Still, it reflects the real world in it's rawest form. In the last two lines of your earlier post, you kind of asked where women and men go from here. So I answered: Nowhere. We're already there: Mutual bitching and bashing on social media, and men walking out on marriage. We've arrived at the final destination. This is home sweet home.
    In other words, even if I fix the "electrical short" in my own head (assuming that I'm the problem here), it's still a tough ol' world out there. And frankly I'm doing just fine without a woman underfoot. I really don't see a need to "get better." I'm truly enjoying life right now much more than I did in either of my marriages. I figured I paid my dues on the marriage front. Twenty years of marriage is plenty. Now it's about "me time."

  4. #1584
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp
    Posts
    7,124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    There's still the problem that I mentioned earlier:



    In other words, even if I fix the "electrical short" in my own head (assuming that I'm the problem here), it's still a tough ol' world out there. And frankly I'm doing just fine without a woman underfoot. I really don't see a need to "get better." I'm truly enjoying life right now much more than I did in either of my marriages. I figured I paid my dues on the marriage front. Twenty years is plenty. Now it's about "me time."
    Do you have to deal with other men accusing you of peter pan syndrome?

    I think a lot of the lashing out against MGTOW I've seen has been from other men. Women seem more or less indifferent. Trad women are obviously more bothered by it because it's against their own interests. Fem women seem to take either a "good riddance" or "meh" attitude toward MGTOW.

    I think Karen Straughan was right though, when she told Stardusk that if enough men go that route, society isn't going to just let them walk away. They will find a way to punish men or force them back to the plantation.
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"
    http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code

    http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf

    http://www.aikidoseiki.com/doc/aikid..._peace_eng.pdf

  5. #1585
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    533

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    Do you have to deal with other men accusing you of peter pan syndrome?

    I think a lot of the lashing out against MGTOW I've seen has been from other men. Women seem more or less indifferent. Trad women are obviously more bothered by it because it's against their own interests. Fem women seem to take either a "good riddance" or "meh" attitude toward MGTOW.

    I think Karen Straughan was right though, when she told Stardusk that if enough men go that route, society isn't going to just let them walk away. They will find a way to punish men or force them back to the plantation.
    Lol! I'm 60 years old. No one is going to accuse me of being Peter Pan!

    Actually, at 60 years old, women can be quite pissed when I go my own way. Women my age can be quite aggressive about pursuing an active, healthy male. And when I turn them down, I get the "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" thing. It's one reason why I've kind of tapered off women altogether. Endless fucking drama, even when I make it clear that I'm not interested. Women say, "No means no." But they refuse to hear the word "no" when a man tries to say it to them.

    Anyway, that's just my own experience. I think the issues you're raising pertain more to younger men.

    ETA: I think at 60, I'm seen by women (and society in general) as just selfish when I go my own way. Men are seen as beasts of burden. Lots of women my age could use the help and comfort of an able-bodied, healthy male, and women seem to get genuinely pissed when I just do my own thing. I'm like a workhorse just standing in a field and not working. They just itch to get their hands on me and put me to work. And they seem to get furious when I don't cooperate with them in this effort of theirs.

  6. #1586
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp
    Posts
    7,124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    Lol! I'm 60 years old. No one is going to accuse me of being Peter Pan!

    Actually, at 60 years old, women can be quite pissed when I go my own way. Women my age can be quite aggressive about pursuing an active, healthy male. And when I turn them down, I get the "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" thing. It's one reason why I've kind of tapered off women altogether. Endless fucking drama, even when I make it clear that I'm not interested. Women say, "No means no." But they refuse to hear the word "no" when a man tries to say it to them.

    Anyway, that's just my own experience. I think the issues you're raising pertain more to younger men.
    ah, OK.

    I think the younger MGTOW deal with a lot of shaming from friends and family regarding the choice to go that way. Sometimes I wonder if it's really just jealousy/envy on the part of married men who seem to have a problem with other guys staying single.

    Those particular women you deal with.. well, no one likes rejection, but I think some women may take it especially hard (men are used to it and learn to cope or move on from a young age). I'm just speculating though and female perspectives on this would be nice. Do the women YUI deals with feel entitled to his sexual or romantic attention? Men can be pretty eager when sex is practically dangled in their faces. To have men defy that stereotype and say 'no, ma'am' might be a bit jarring or ego-bruising, I guess, particularly for women who are considered above-average in their looks and probably used to getting the bulls of their choosing.
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"
    http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code

    http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf

    http://www.aikidoseiki.com/doc/aikid..._peace_eng.pdf

  7. #1587
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    533

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    ah, OK.

    I think the younger MGTOW deal with a lot of shaming from friends and family regarding the choice to go that way. Sometimes I wonder if it's really just jealousy/envy on the part of married men who seem to have a problem with other guys staying single.

    Those particular women you deal with.. well, no one likes rejection, but I think some women may take it especially hard (men are used to it and learn to cope or move on from a young age). I'm just speculating though and female perspectives on this would be nice. Do the women YUI deals with feel entitled to his sexual or romantic attention? Men can be pretty eager when sex is practically dangled in their faces. To have men defy that stereotype and say 'no, ma'am' might be a bit jarring or ego-bruising, I guess.
    Also, note the ETA that I added to my last post:

    ETA: I think at 60, I'm seen by women (and society in general) as just selfish when I go my own way. Men are seen as beasts of burden. Lots of women my age could use the help and comfort of an able-bodied, healthy male, and a lot of women get pissed when I just do my own thing. It's like a workhorse just standing in a field and not working. They just itch to get their hands on me and put me to work. And they seem to get furious when I don't cooperate with them in this effort of theirs.

    In other words, it's not just sexual or romantic. Some women see me as a handyman. Others see me as a meal ticket. And so on. But sooner or later sex is always the hook, and they always get pretty mad when I say no. Not that I'm against sex. But I know there's going to be a price to pay for it.
    Likes Anaximander liked this post

  8. #1588
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    533

    Default

    Anyway, enough about me. My experiences as a 60-year-old are just one small part of the overall dating world or the MGTOW world or whatever. All the various ages have their various twists and challenges.

    I'm happy where I'm at. I don't see anything about me that needs "fixing." When people ask, I'm straightforward with them. I did 20 years of marriage; I paid my dues, and I'm done with it. Besides, I can't take another big hit to my pension like the last one. I don't give people a big song and dance about MGTOW; it's only here that the subject has come up. But I let women know: I'm just not interested. It's not going to happen.

    They say, "Never say never." I could see scenarios where I could end up in relationships of one sort or another. But getting married again? Very hard to imagine.

  9. #1589
    Rainy Day Woman Array MDP2525's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ISTp None
    Posts
    4,901

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    There's still the problem that I mentioned earlier:



    In other words, even if I fix the "electrical short" in my own head (assuming that I'm the problem here), it's still a tough ol' world out there. And frankly I'm doing just fine without a woman underfoot. I really don't see a need to "get better." I'm truly enjoying life right now much more than I did in either of my marriages. I figured I paid my dues on the marriage front. Twenty years of marriage is plenty. Now it's about "me time."
    That's cool. My response to you would be the same if you were female. It has nothing to do with bristling at not wanting marriage, or taking men off the "market" or whatever. I sort of don't see the importance of marriage, really.

    More so, my response was about introspection of how and why one got where they were, how they deal with pain and anger. Retreat or overcome? I'm an overcome person.

    I wasn't to blame for being born into a family where I was beaten black and blue. Getting tortured. I wasn't to blame for any of the drama of my family life. Shit.

    But I had to do WORK. Introspective work. That's what I mean by work. Growth.

    To not view men as shit. To not view women as helpless. I had to filter all the anger I had. I could have said "fuck that." and repeated the same patterns I saw in front of me. I could've opted out of dating because I had been treated like shit and cheated on. Oops. Burned again. Never stopping to think why? Just accepting life is handing me shit because that's life and people, I guess. Nah. I was bringing that drama to me, I didn't even realize it consciously.

    Long story short, I got rid of that anger. I've forgiven any aspect of abusive I suffered.

    If I didn't, I wouldn't be impenetrably strong. Strong without righteous anger feels much different, let me tell you.

    But different folks, different strokes.

    That's why I didn't want to let my mother off the hook. This happened to you? Shit sucks. Do some goddamn work. I have to. Why should you get to lick your wounds in a corner? (I said it nicer than that )

    So if you were my father, I would probably say something similar. Since you aren't - Do you.
    ~Live and learn from fools and from sages~




    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance
    Likes Starry, Anaximander liked this post

  10. #1590
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp
    Posts
    7,124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I sort of don't see the importance of marriage, really.
    It's overrated and in my opinion outdated. I'm not entirely against cohabitation and other relationships that border on more traditional arrangements though. For those who must marry I would strongly advise prenups. People have an averse reaction to that. People want to believe it's forever when they marry and so signing a contract is seen as an admittance things may not work out, which can look like the person has no faith in the relationship. I was against the idea of prenups when I got married. What can I say other than I was young, idealistic, and very stupid.
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"
    http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code

    http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf

    http://www.aikidoseiki.com/doc/aikid..._peace_eng.pdf
    Likes MDP2525, Typh0n liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. A new INFJ *waves!*
    By moonlit_reveries in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 05-30-2008, 01:14 AM
  2. Feminism
    By GZA in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 131
    Last Post: 02-29-2008, 07:31 PM
  3. The Ocean Waves: a NF introduction
    By music_educe in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 11-16-2007, 08:00 PM
  4. *waving*
    By Sandy in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 10-22-2007, 08:29 PM
  5. Hello :D *waves*
    By Indranizia in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 05-12-2007, 04:40 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •