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Thread: 3rd wave feminism

  1. #1391
    typology curator Array Xann's Avatar
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  2. #1392
    Senior Member Array evilrubberduckie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xann View Post

    I dont know how to reply to this. My thoughts on this video are on the fence. I'm either really angry or defensive about it.

    *goes off to ponder*

  3. #1393
    Analytical Dreamer Array Coriolis's Avatar
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    Presuming to allow or disallow your wife to do anything is sexist. If she breaks her marriage vows to you, you can divorce her, or give her a chance in counseling, etc. But you do not control her, only yourself.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #1394
    Senior Member Array riva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Presuming to allow or disallow your wife to do anything is sexist. If she breaks her marriage vows to you, you can divorce her, or give her a chance in counseling, etc. But you do not control her, only yourself.
    You don't think holding marriage vows as a tool to prevent you from sleeping with other men is also sexist?

    Lolz

    With these kind of things forced by feminists there will come a day men will say fuck this and go after those women who are the opposite of feminists. This will give rise to men idealizing women who don't have any self confidence to push for their rights. Mind you there are women like that. And when that day comes it would be counter productive to feminists.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Presuming to allow or disallow your wife to do anything is sexist. If she breaks her marriage vows to you, you can divorce her, or give her a chance in counseling, etc. But you do not control her, only yourself.
    You don't think holding marriage vows as a tool to prevent you from sleeping with other men is also sexist?

    Lolz

    With these kind of things forced by feminists there will come a day men will say fuck this and go after those women who are the opposite of feminists. This will give rise to men idealizing women who don't have any self confidence to push for their rights. Mind you there are women like that. And when that day comes it would be counter productive to feminists.
    .
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  5. #1395
    Senior Member Array riva's Avatar
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    I do believe in women's rights and loathe culture and religion or assholes who think women should be controlled can be controlled or are stupid.

    But there are limits to things you should fight for. If you fight for the dumbest thing it's going to be like a bad relationship. Yes you have to argue yes you have to fight but not over every fucking thing.

    Also, feminists should pick their battles and battle grounds. There are plenty of battles to be fought in shitty parts of the world. Go fight them there.
    .
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  6. #1396
    Strongly Ambivalent Array Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Presuming to allow or disallow your wife to do anything is sexist. If she breaks her marriage vows to you, you can divorce her, or give her a chance in counseling, etc. But you do not control her, only yourself.
    Agreed, and it goes both ways. People should be together and faithful to each other out of choice, not control. I'm not in the position to "disallow" my husband to do anything, and he refuses to "disallow" anything for me, for which I'm deeply grateful. This isn't something feminism or I as a feminist forced on our marriage- actually, it's something his autonomous INTP nature insisted on, and was even a bit uncomfortable for me having been brought up in a controlling/sexist religious environment and married young. On some levels as a young wife I expected my husband to want to control me and wasn't sure how to respond when he was like "fuck that."

    Yes, my husband was a better feminist than me back then, and I've learned much of my feminism and sense of autonomy from him. Howdya like them apples, sexists?
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  7. #1397
    The Senate Array Osprey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Agreed, and it goes both ways. People should be together and faithful to each other out of choice, not control. I'm not in the position to "disallow" my husband to do anything, and he refuses to "disallow" anything for me, for which I'm deeply grateful. This isn't something feminism or I as a feminist forced on our marriage- actually, it's something his autonomous INTP nature insisted on, and was even a bit uncomfortable for me having been brought up in a controlling/sexist religious environment and married young. On some levels as a young wife I expected my husband to want to control me and wasn't sure how to respond when he was like "fuck that."
    I try very hard in my relationships to not be controlling. I also tend to do better and be happier in a relationship when I date someone more assertive. It's probably one of my bigger relationship needs. The traditional relationship model just doesn't work well for me.

    I suspect one thing that caused my last relationship to end is that my ex wanted to be married, like all her friends and relatives were doing, and she didn't see me as husband material. That's fine with me. That was her choice to make, not mine.
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  8. #1398
    Senior Member Array evilrubberduckie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evilrubberduckie View Post
    I dont know how to reply to this. My thoughts on this video are on the fence. I'm either really angry or defensive about it.

    *goes off to ponder*
    Alright. So I think I know how to place my thoughts on this. @Xann, you might be interested. Since I am going to do some heavy duty disintegration on your video.

    The concept of marriage is universal but even that is arguable. The way you define marriage isn't the same way someone else defines it. So putting the ideals of marriage in a neat little box and placing a bow on it is laughable.

    The vows being said. Also laughable. Since we all know that people break those vows consistently anyway. Most of the time behind the spouses back. Hell, sometimes its being broken without our own knowledge. So having them said is pretty much pointless. A romantic idea.

    Humans also having one committed mate for life is also a romantic idea. Humans aren't meant for "one, and one only" if so, then divorce wouldn't even be an existing factor. But for those of us who ARE loyal and only have one partner at a time. You aren't proving to us that it can be done, all you are proving is that it's your preference to be with one, and one only. I mean, the human eye strays. You might not do anything or act on your impulses, but that doesnt mean you dont envision yourself with someone else on occasion. To some, even this process is considered to be adultery. Sadly, when it comes to mates, humans are not wolves. We dont mate for life. We mate until it's inconvenient to do otherwise.

    I see no problem with a marriage where both partner agree upon seeing someone else on the side. As long as communications holds a heavy factor in the relationship, it can even be healthy. As long as they are safe about it, and their partners outside the marriage know the situation and come to agreement on what their role is. Then all is fine and dandy. Once kids are put on the picture. Well, you just have to be mindful of them, and be good parents. I believe Kids should always come first. Even before your spouses needs and your needs. But that's just how I feel.

    How feminism plays a role in this? Well, TRUE feminism want EQUAL rights. That means, if the man gets to do it, so can the women. Both also have to start on fair and equal grounds. Meaning, if the women can fool around, so can the man.

    Once you limit who can and who cant. That's when it doesn't become feminism, just some power hungry grab tainting the name of feminism to all.
    "Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood."
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  9. #1399
    typology curator Array Xann's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Presuming to allow or disallow your wife to do anything is sexist. If she breaks her marriage vows to you, you can divorce her, or give her a chance in counseling, etc. But you do not control her, only yourself.
    I think he meant allowing within the context of not divorcing her if she broke her vows, or at least getting upset about it. This can go either direction in a marriage and is not in and of itself sexist, even if it did have the connotation you think it intends. Frequently I have heard tell of "wives allowing their husband" to do this or another thing. What word would you have chosen to use instead?

  10. #1400
    Active Member Array Poki's Avatar
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    We should do here the same we should do with other topics. Focus on equality, remove woman and man and just use the word person. Because woman and man shouldn't matter. Just like black crime or white crime, it's all crime. Focus on crime, not white or black. Remove the crap that doesn't matter. Look at city, yeah it may take some effort to not "group", but it's worth the effort.

    Can we accomplish this in america....no...why...because we are all groupies. Tired of the shit people saying...we have hungry yet we send millions over sees. People are people, let's help the MOST needy irregardless of some groupie crap. Let's raise the standard across the board, not just a single group.

    I wish people would stop the "what about me" hitching or "what about us" bitching. Help yourself, help is a blessing, not a privilege. Work so that people want to bless you because of who you are, not just the group you are in.

    So tired of bitchy groupie people, America is overwhelmed by it media wise.
    Take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's all it is compared to the ocean of complexity when it comes to actions and real life.

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