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  1. #1
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Default #DudesGreetingDudes

    Why is greeting random women on the street considered harassment?

    In order to get the men (and women) apologists to understand why, comedian, Elon James White, had a great idea. If women are being so rude and up-in-arms about receiving such harmless greetings, maybe men should target their greetings at other men.

    Thus, #DudesGreetingDudes was born.

    'Dudes Greeting Dudes' sheds light on the double-standard of catcalling

    The Best #DudesGreetingDudes Tweets | MadameNoire

    Why is it hard for some men to understand that this is a problem? Why do men, who use the excuse that they were just trying to be friendly, not understand that they wouldn't ever think to approach another fellow male in such a manner, and that, therein lies the problem? Or, is it playing on some internalized homophobia of the male masses?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Adam's Avatar
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    I don't believe for one second that the vast majority of "random greetings" aren't motivated by attraction to the person. But I disagree with the people who think this, on its own, is the problem - the problem, rather, is the failure of some disturbed individuals to respect that their approach has been rejected.
    I also disagree with the way that men, by the campaign, have been made to look like they are the only ones who engage in these kinds of unsolicited approaches, when that is definitely not the case. And as far as I know there is nothing except questionable anecdotal evidence to suggest that men are more likely to react negatively to rejection.
    ‘Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent, is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.’

    ‘And we will have made great strides in equality,
    when few have too much and fewer too little.’.

  3. #3
    Senior Member riva's Avatar
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    Timing is everything. If you did it right, she might react positively 'it interested' in you as a person - the definition of person here is broad.

    If you did it wrong, you better walk away.

    But women always always have the right to reject any man - known or unknown - who says hello - or something vulgar - to them and all men should realize this. However, I think most men know this.

    Heck I would do the same.
    .

  4. #4
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I usally assume a hi is just a hi.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #5
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    This question can be better answered by a different question (Addressing everybody):
    Have you - or anyone you know - ever hooked up with someone you got to know by them catcalling you or vise versa?

  6. #6
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Every day I address both women and men in the street. However I am well aware there are two ways to address a woman. The first expreses sexual interest and the second expresses human interest.

    So I am very careful in addressing a woman on the street to make it plain that I am expressing human interest.

    It is unfortunate that some men only seem to be able to express sexual interest in a woman. So women are rightly suspicious of men who address them on the street.

    And unfortunately some men only see women as sexual objects and so they naturally show only sexual interest when they address women on the street.

    However I find every day that as I address women showing human interest, almost all women respond in a human way.

    Women are not dumb and know how they are being addressed and behave accordingly.
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  7. #7
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Every day I address both women and men in the street. However I am well aware there are two ways to address a woman. The first expreses sexual interest and the second expresses human interest.

    So I am very careful in addressing a woman on the street to make it plain that I am expressing human interest.
    You have identified a huge part of the problem here.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    I've never liked being addressed by strangers out in public. It's really weird and uncomfortable. I make a point of never making eye contact with a stranger to avoid giving them the impression that I want any sort of social interaction, especially women because I don't want them to think I'm creeping on them.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  9. #9
    Senior Member riva's Avatar
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    Also most guys don't expect cat calling to be positively reciprocated and most guys don't even do this.

    Most men unfairly expect greetings to be reciprocated in environments that are expected for socializing or in office environments. They don't even expect greetings to be reciprocated in school or universities. They are just too scared and it's probably in our genes. If a loser in a tribe approached a desired female he could get beaten up or chased away by the alpha males. (I Would probably do this if i was an alpha male and some asshole was hitting on a woman i liked.)

    However, i've noticed that a lot of forcef greetings are made in office environments. And i've noticed a lot of sexually frustrated old married men engage in these activities. Infact office flirting is quite disgusting i think.
    .

  10. #10
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarlaxle View Post
    This question can be better answered by a different question (Addressing everybody):
    Have you - or anyone you know - ever hooked up with someone you got to know by them catcalling you or vise versa?
    I think there may be a multitude of reasons why men catcall to strangers (women) on the street, and one of those reasons may be a "mating call".

    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post

    However I find every day that as I address women showing human interest, almost all women respond in a human way.

    Women are not dumb and know how they are being addressed and behave accordingly.
    Thank you for this. Yes, it's a nice way of putting it. Human interest. Women can, and do, pick up on the difference between being seen as a human versus a sex object.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    I've never liked being addressed by strangers out in public. It's really weird and uncomfortable. I make a point of never making eye contact with a stranger to avoid giving them the impression that I want any sort of social interaction, especially women because I don't want them to think I'm creeping on them.
    Good point. If you wouldn't like being approached because of the feelings it evokes, then the same consideration should be extended to women.

    I had a friend (male) who couldn't understand why it was a big deal, if the men were not being overly aggressive. He is, in my books, a very decent guy. And I know that he does not partake in such things, but didn't see anything overtly wrong with other men who do (the milder versions of catcalling). So, I turned it around, and told him, the very reason(s) that stops him from partaking in it, are likely the very reasons women, on the receiving end, do not appreciate it.

    I think a part of the issue is that there is a lack of "evidence", a lack of direct impact of such behaviour, so it might slip under some men's radar, about what that really means/feels like, for some women. Most women, when they hear it, they ignore and keep walking. So, some men might interpret that as, "oh well, no harm, no foul. Next time..." But that woman might be feeling a whole lot of discomfort, internally, that is not always explicitly indicated by her (lack of) response. It doesn't mean that they do not exist or are not a real problem. I think the idea of putting yourself in the other's shoes, the empathy factor, is key.

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