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View Poll Results: Do you believe rape culture exists?

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  • Yes

    47 72.31%
  • No

    18 27.69%
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  1. #181
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    My husband and I knew before we even got married that if we ever had daughters we would want them to learn a martial art. Sons too- but it was imperative for the daughters. His take was that boys tend to learn how to defend themselves along the way but it's not a part of girl culture so we would need to be more purposeful about it. Our daughter did take several years of Aikido and loved it, but got too busy for it the past couple of years with other lessons and things. She has been talking lately about taking it up again. I get the sense that as she approaches young adulthood (she's 14 now) and contemplates going to college, she's apprehensive about being taken advantage of. That makes me sad.
    OH no! Not Aikido. I took a semester of that in college. Me and several of the other students felt like it was more Tai Chi than anything practical. We felt we had learned nothing, except maybe how to balance, and that it was a solid base for modern dance.

    You want something real, MMA, at least the fundamentals. I'm not saying your daughter should be a cagefighter, but cagefighting over the past 10 years has basically eliminated fake from the real martial arts. The martial arts that are quick to learn, and can be devastating, if the need requires.

    I think I had been training Jiu Jitsu for only a month and was drunk and wrestling a buddy of mine that's 240lbs 6'2" (I'm 6'0 about 175). He was much stronger, much bigger, but from simple knowledge of some basic techniques, I was throwing him around like a ragdoll. It was pretty funny.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

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  2. #182
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Maybe not all classes are taught the same way. We liked Aikido because we figured getting away was more important than kicking ass, and that's how the class was focused. We don't need her to be Hit Girl or anything. She's small, so the aspect of using the attacker's own energy against them to get away instead of needing to overpower them seemed like a good way to go.

  3. #183
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    BTW if anybody watches Louie, which is Louis C.K.'s show on FX (I guess he calls it Louie since it's only loosely autobiographical and he uses the character to explore things in unusual ways) the episode last night explored this topic a little bit.

    The Disturbing Sexual Assault on Last Night's Louie

    I really love Louis C.K. and think he's trying to get some of this stuff out in the open so we can fucking talk about it and maybe try to fix it.

    Also- another awful high school rape case:

    3 Calhoun High seniors charged with sexual battery | www.ajc.com

    At least this time nobody seems to be covering things up or dragging their feet legally because these guys are star athletes. And before anybody jumps on the "who knows what happened, she had been drinking, maybe she just regretted it" tip, I don't think you get internal injuries from consensual sex you later regret. She had to have a hysterectomy. Questions here include: why did these kids not worry about doing this in a house full of other students? Why did nobody else in the house (and the cops suspect that everyone in the house knew that they were at least messing with her in the room, and they say more charges are forthcoming) think it was fucked up enough to speak up? Do you think they would have felt a similar ease about committing another kind of crime in the knowing presence of 20+ other people?

    Also, a response from a local columnist to the local response to the crime (which was a lot of "gosh, teens and drinking, bad bad bad"):

    Cook: Calhoun prom assault was never about beer | Times Free Press

  4. #184
    Junior Member Brimstone's Avatar
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    All very disturbing and disheartening.

    How anyone can lack empathy for someone is beyond me, a rapist is a emotionally immature narcissist. I beleive we live in a culture of extraverted narcissism, treating people like mere objects for self gratification, including rape.

    I dislike cultures, they seem to make excuses for behaviors - to normalise behaviours instead of people thinking and acting for themsevles - where are peoples moral standards?!

    so you can image at some parties this behaviour could actually take place, because "its the culture" and it suddenlly becomes "acceptable" and "normalised"

    Id like to suggest only certain types might be capable of such acts, the highly sensitive types able to empathise with others feelings. I think also men are expected to behave in certain ways, they bottle up, or even kill their own emotions due to expectations of soceity which hinders their development of empathy. Add to the mix the drink "culture", and group pressures, its all a recipe for trouble really.

    people need to become more emotionally mature and in tune with the feelings of themselves and others, to think for themselves and learn to respect peoples boundaries. its lack of empathy really, and its all around us.

  5. #185
    meat popsicle r.a's Avatar
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    I answered yes because humanity has always been a rape culture. always. fucking always. humans are a violent creature. always. the only thing that has changed is the awareness towards it. people love to label things. welcome to earth.
    "All authority of any kind, especially in the field of thought and understanding, is destructive and evil. Leaders destroy the followers and the followers destroy the leaders. You have to be your own teacher and your own disciple. You have to question everything that man has accepted as valuable, as necessary."
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    J.Krishnamurti

  6. #186
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by r.a View Post
    I answered yes because humanity has always been a rape culture. always. fucking always. humans are a violent creature. always. the only thing that has changed is the awareness towards it. people love to label things. welcome to earth.
    Thank you.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  7. #187
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Okay.. so we just accept it and give up on trying to change shit?

    "Biology is not destiny."

    FTR I don't only feel this way about stuff that impacts women. This kind of shit still happens, too, and I think that's bullshit as well:

    Worker records ‘racist’ supervisor in cotton warehouse | WREG.com

    If anyone would like to discuss racism I started a thread about it a while back and I like to reread it now and then. It hasn't had much action in a while:

    Racism

  8. #188
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Okay.. so we just accept it and give up on trying to change shit?

    "Biology is not destiny."
    ^ This.

    It's sort of like saying, "Eh, humanity is always going to be brutal and violent. Let's not try to do anything about war crimes, or human trafficking. Trafficking is WAY worse in other parts of the world, anyway."
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  9. #189
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    It's sort of like saying, "Eh, humanity is always going to be brutal and violent. Let's not try to do anything about war crimes, or human trafficking. Trafficking is WAY worse in other parts of the world, anyway."
    I don't recall saying that.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  10. #190
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    I don't recall saying that.
    You didn't, and I wasn't saying you did. I was just using another example of that type of logic to show why I take issue with it.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


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    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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