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View Poll Results: Do you believe rape culture exists?

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  • Yes

    47 72.31%
  • No

    18 27.69%
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  1. #141
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I have always loved Terry Crews. He seems to have such integrity.
    Terry Crews, Defender of Women, Giant Teddy Bear inside. And he's kinda hilarious too.






    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  2. #142
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    ^

    Love how Sly Stallone flexes with him there in the bottom left pic. (Or is he punching that other dude in the stomach?)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    ^

    Love how Sly Stallone flexes with him there in the bottom left pic. (Or is he punching that other dude in the stomach?)
    "That other dude"? That's Dolph Lundgren!

    This is how I know you're a woman, woman...

  4. #144
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    "That other dude"? That's Dolph Lundgren!

    This is how I know you're a woman, woman...
    Whatever, man. Make me a sandwich.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Whatever, man. Make me a sandwich.
    You snooze you lose, I just finished off some lovely ciabatta.

  6. #146
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    I've been on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour, in the physical coercion sense by male ESTPs and in the sexual coercion sense by a female ESxP. I think Se-doms have a habit of disregarding physical boundaries as well as not caring about the distress signals given by others. I think they see distress signals as a sign of submission and push on further rather than disengaging. It manifests itself in the ESxP type as lack of Fe or low Fe.

    There are men that fit that overall women description you gave in the bolded though they do not represent a majority of the males. I, for instance, am having problems related to my lack of physical aggression and am also considering learning some kind of self defense technique.
    Yes, this bears repeating. As I mentioned, the signs of threatening behavior I listed can be seen in men or women, and the person on the receiving end can likewise be male or female. This is part of the "awareness" I mentioned in how women should treat men (and vice versa). The "directness" part includes stating your wishes plainly, and asking people to stop bothersome behavior before it becomes more serious than merely bothersome. Someone who fundamentally respects another will do this, just because he/she asked.

    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    I'd also welcome feedback about that intense (creepy?) gaze that men give to women. Is there any time at all it doesn't irritate women, like if the women is also horny at the same time and finds the guy attractive? Do women give that kind of gazes to men at all? Is it a kind of mating signal?
    The INTJ "death stare" is a good antidote, presuming one wants one.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  7. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    The statistics in this article kind of shocked me.

    Nearly one in five women surveyed said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point, and one in four reported having been beaten by an intimate partner. One in six women have been stalked, according to the report.

    One in seven men have experienced severe violence at the hands of an intimate partner, the survey found, and one in 71 men — between 1 percent and 2 percent — have been raped, many when they were younger than 11.
    I heard similar statistics years ago and it still floors me to be reminded of it when I walk into a room with a large percentage of women - and to think that a fraction of those women may have never said anything about it out of fear of being blamed.

    I can see where @Chanaynay and @EJCC are coming from with their definitions but I'm afraid there's another element that may be entirely exclusive to certain people/situations, and that is just complete dehumanization of the victim to the point where the perpetrator has no compelling reason to blame the victim. So while victim-blaming is, I would guess, a much more common element of rape-culture (and therefore something that should be stressed to a greater degree), I'm not sure if rape culture should be pigeonholed as such.

    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    I lost many friends with the Polanski affair.
    The Americans did not understand my point.
    My point was: I am no judge.
    Therefore I am not on the side of the ideologists. The ideologists abuse the victim.
    I am on the side of the victim alone..
    My point had nothing with Polanski being a good movie director.
    Or a persecuted Jew of the Nazi era. There is no excuse for rape.

    I consequently remain on the side of the victim.
    Rape culture exists everywhere.
    In my country and in your country.
    Definitely in the police department of both countries.
    Yes. I was happy to see you post this.

    @SilentMusings I can't, for the life of me, understand why you and like-minded individuals come off implying that "Oh, it's going to happen, therefore it's OK and no measures should be taken to avoid it." What a sophomoric perspective on ethics, in general.

  8. #148
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    I can see where @Chanaynay and @EJCC are coming from with their definitions but I'm afraid there's another element that may be entirely exclusive to certain people/situations, and that is just complete dehumanization of the victim to the point where the perpetrator has no compelling reason to blame the victim. So while victim-blaming is, I would guess, a much more common element of rape-culture (and therefore something that should be stressed to a greater degree), I'm not sure if rape culture should be pigeonholed as such.
    It's easier to work from. Covers a lot more ground, and is easier to talk about as a whole. What you're getting into is not only a much smaller percentage, but probably has more to do with the "cycle of abuse", or with psychopathy/sociopathy, than with the sort of cultural factors being discussed here.

    Those issues are, of course, something we have to talk about as a culture. But it's a different conversation.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #149
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    It's easier to work from. Covers a lot more ground, and is easier to talk about as a whole. What you're getting into is not only a much smaller percentage, but probably has more to do with the "cycle of abuse", or with psychopathy/sociopathy, than with the sort of cultural factors being discussed here.

    Those issues are, of course, something we have to talk about as a culture. But it's a different conversation.
    I can agree with that.

  10. #150
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eruca View Post
    We do live in a murder culture. Observe school shootings, murder abroad (war), murder as entertaining and cool in film and videogames, murder as consumable spectacle in the news, and accepted racialized murder-violence in the ghettos. If young people weren't taught that killing is the ultimate way to earn respect (see Elliot), if murder abroad wasn't seen as the hypocrisy it often is, and if we didn't accept the violence in the ghettos as "just the way things are" and instead set out to improve the lives of those living there so they wouldnt be driven to crime, then we wouldn't live in a murder culture. A murder culture is a culture that produces and accepts murder. Before I'm misunderstood, I don't mean accept without qualification, or accept openly, I merely mean, on some tacit but important levels, condemnation lacks.

    Perhaps to be noted; I don't think a murder culture is, in itself, bad. For example, we might imagine a culture in which we would put the freedom of speech above the possible results of said speech. If book published A entertains and enlighten millions, but causes a single person to go out and shoot people, should we ban all books A? In such a situation, I feel, we would "take the hit" and preserve freedom of speech. In other words, their are situations in which a murder culture would be preferable. We might also think of cultures that would accept but not produce murder--and, again, such cultures might be perfectly appealing or expedient to us. After all, killing cops on Payday 2 is highly enjoyable! This of course means I don't think a rape-culture is, in itself, bad. A shocking statement! I will elaborate if people wish.
    I mentioned murder to be facetious. Text is so annoying sometimes. While murder is also a "bad" and measures should be taken to reduce it, my inner realist says, we will always have it. My point would be just because something occurs, has always occurred actually, doesn't make it acceptable or part of our "culture". No culture is immune to these societal ills, rape included.

    The reality: the murder rate has gone down every single year since 1992 (except for an uptick in 93, I blame Clinton :P) but you wouldn't be able to tell if you listen to the "OMG! Merica is so violent"/politics of fear types.

    http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr...tables/table-1

    Quote Originally Posted by Eruca View Post
    This leads to the point I'd like to make about rape culture. It doesn't exist because people are being consciously evil, malicious, selfish, twisted etc. Yes, individual rapists probably fit this description, but rapists are a very small part of rape culture. Rape culture exists because its fun and easy while its opposite is difficult and boring. Now, I'll need a good example of a cause and effect in rape culture in order to explain how this is the case. Thankfully, you've supplied me with a lovely one Spanky! Why is male on male or female on male rape discounted? Because men can't be victims! Now clearly, under certain scenarios, the belief that one cannot be a victim is a terrible thing--rapes being such an example. But, generally, how pleasurable it is to believe one is strong, incapable of harm, special, worthy of respect and command just by merit of being male? And how much more jolly and sexually exciting to believe in male power for the ladies? Who wants to have sex with, or be coupled with, some wimp who can get raped? No wonder we would, generally, deny the possibility of male-on-male and female-on-male rape. It puts an end to the jolly good time we've been having and forces us to ask difficult questions.
    People just don't know, lack of awareness/disinterest and whatnot vs. denial. Heck, the PREA was only passed in 2003.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison_...on_Act_of_2003 "Public awareness of prison rape is relatively recent. Estimates of the prevalence of prison rape vary widely. In 1974 Carl Weiss and David James Friar wrote that 46 million Americans would one day be incarcerated; of that number, they claimed, 10 million would be raped."

    Quote Originally Posted by Eruca View Post
    In other words rape culture exists because the great mass that is the perpetrators (all of us) trumps the smaller mass of the verbal victims. Everyone will state that, given the choice between pleasure for themselves and lack of pain for another, a moral person would choose a lack of pain in the other. Yet so few of us give any significant money to charity, because the victims charities attempt to aid can be ignored, denied as worthy, or denied as existing at all. I believe that most people in our society, when faced with such a decision, will make the right choice. But they will do everything to avoid having to make that choice; including denying that a choice needs to be made. This is the denial at the root of rape culture.
    This doesn't make any sense to me. We all have our priorities and there are many a "cause" one can choose to spend his/her time on if they decide to. Choosing not to be altruistic/philanthropic is not denial. Just like choosing not to donate/give your time to hunger does not make you a Hunger Culture denier.

    I liken the slogan of Rape Culture to some unholy (I use the term advisedly) union of political correctness + social conservatism + feminism, or the spawn of.

    53812948268824512734813.jpg


    I remember Dr. Ruth talking about sex on TV back in the 80's. OMG she said masturbation! Her awareness raising and openness in discussing all things sex related was quite a change in TV culture. It's not uncommon now to see/hear people talk about "fapping" and other terms used to describe masturbation (American Pie anyone?). I liken rape and other "crimes/acts" in this category. Which is to say, a byproduct of awareness raising. Just because someone jokes about it or speaks flippantly doesn't make it acceptable to that person. I like to think that most of us are aware enough to know when to differentiate. (if you're really curious, go back and watch some old 70's-80's stand up and note how very little rape is used) I imagine however that some would like to put the "rape" genie back into the bottle and it can ONLY be spoken about in very serious tones at all times.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

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