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View Poll Results: Do you believe rape culture exists?

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  • Yes

    47 72.31%
  • No

    18 27.69%
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  1. #131
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Yes, I do, using this definition.
    And more men are starting to thankfully realise it:



    I also think that it's not just women that need to stop being harassed and bullied - or for that matter gaslit, mocked and blamed for what happened to them on a daily basis (for instance, years of bullying in schools for both genders of kids). We need to stop telling men that crying is unacceptable, emotionally isolating them because it supposedly is seen as weak and be taught how to deal with feelings of frustration before they lead to hopelessness and violence, as well as the fact that trying hard enough does not entitle you to a reward or satisfaction provided by someone else. Aggressive women need to be called out on their ignoring of a 'no' just as much as there are plenty that don't understand the word either. Women are too often told we're not a threat and could not hurt a 'real' man anyways, and that a man ALWAYS wants sex so why would you even need his consent?

    And - while we're at it - then there is this:



    Our entitled society needs a serious overhaul, imho.

    Note: Im not at present in the position to actually engage in a debate about this, but I figured I'd just share this stuff here, so you guys could.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #132
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Fia, sorry but this sounded like you'd automatically assume the worst about men who didn't side with you on this cause.

    There's no side. There's just reality and we are all a part of it.

    I hate this us against them, Women against men camp formation and stereotyping and hatred based on association.
    Its good to push back against Us vs. Them. My point was mostly to give people a different data point - especially the more naive but strongly opinionated readers/posters. People in general would do well to not make assumptions about other people's motivations and innermost thoughts and feelings. I'll tell you what I think when people disagree and even think feminism is ludicrous, etc.

    1. The poster could be very young, naive, and /or sheltered.
    2. The poster is personalizing the topic and feeling defensive.
    3. My own experience may not be representative of the bigger picture.
    4. The poster is trolling out of meanness and/or naïveté.
    5. The poster is simply speaking from their experience which is different from mine.
    6. Some other reason I haven't thought of.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  3. #133
    reflecting pool Typh0n's Avatar
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    I dont think feminism is ludicrous, I do think some feminists are(the more extreme ones).

  4. #134
    Senior Member Robopop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Oh please, this fox needs to check it's mammal privilege.
    Reserved Calm Unstructured Egocentric Inquisitive Clown

    Johari Nohari

  5. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I also think that it's not just women that need to stop being harassed and bullied - or for that matter gaslit, mocked and blamed for what happened to them on a daily basis (for instance, years of bullying in schools for both genders of kids). We need to stop telling men that crying is unacceptable, emotionally isolating them because it supposedly is seen as weak and be taught how to deal with feelings of frustration before they lead to hopelessness and violence. Aggressive women need to be called out on their ignoring of a 'no' just as much as there are plenty that don't understand the word either . Women are too often told we're not a threat and could not hurt a 'real' man anyways, and that a man ALWAYS wants sex so why would you even need his consent?
    Great points! Regarding the claim that rape is more about displaying dominance than having sex, I think the harmful gender expectations you mentioned are a factor in the prevalence of rape. And sadly, women seem to propagate these ideas as much as men do.

    Rape Myths

    Myth: Rape and sexual assault are about sexual attraction and gratification.
    Fact: Rape and sexual assault are all about control and domination.
    Why do these perpetrators (who are mostly male) feel such a strong need to dominate others? In my opinion, that would indicate a great deal of insecurity or lack of control fueling an urge to compensate and assert some sense of power in order to feel masculine.

  6. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post

    You really need perspective, try just traveling in some third world countries as a woman alone.
    So the perspective is....there are other places in the world you can be raped more frequently or openly so rape culture doesn't exist? The manner in which something is expressed (overt vs covert) doesnt mean its not in existence I guess its perspectives like this that fuel that feminist fire. Thanks for the lesson in invalidation.

  7. #137
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    And more men are starting to thankfully realise it:

    Your whole post was awesome but I especially wanted to highlight this part. Loved this video- I have always loved Terry Crews. He seems to have such integrity. And he was in some of the best commercials of all time, for Old Spice. (They're funny, and on a more serious note I like that they're marketing "manly" without resorting to demeaning women, unlike some other companies in the same market. *cough*Axe*cough*)

    But I digress. Men of integrity like Terry Crews are beginning to listen (and many have for a long time). I married a man who wasn't so attached to being a macho, macho man that he couldn't be humanly vulnerable, and who refuses to enforce toxic ideas of masculinity for our son, like "boys don't cry" and "man up" and such-- and for our daughter, he's an example of a man who can be both strong and tender. I like to think that the way we treat each other is an example of how men should treat women, and women should treat men. (Or, just how people should treat people.) And every day, I'm grateful to see men reject those toxic, outdated notions of masculinity. They may be a minority now but they're the brave men who I think are blazing a trail that I hope the less brave men will eventually be able to follow. Here's one, from my Facebook feed just this morning (name removed for his privacy):

    Do You Believe Rape Culture Exists?-screen-shot-2014-06-01-2-44-21-pm-png

    Screen Shot 2014-06-01 at 2.44.21 PM.png

  8. #138
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    But I digress. Men of integrity like Terry Crews are beginning to listen (and many have for a long time). I married a man who wasn't so attached to being a macho, macho man that he couldn't be humanly vulnerable, and who refuses to enforce toxic ideas of masculinity for our son, like "boys don't cry" and "man up" and such-- and for our daughter, he's an example of a man who can be both strong and tender. I like to think that the way we treat each other is an example of how men should treat women, and women should treat men. (Or, just how people should treat people.) And every day, I'm grateful to see men reject those toxic, outdated notions of masculinity. They may be a minority now but they're the brave men who I think are blazing a trail that I hope the less brave men will eventually be able to follow.
    Just wanted to comment on how awesome this is. This is so, so great and makes me very happy. One of the biggest issues I have with macho culture is that boys and young men can so often be overlooked as actual or potential victims. I particularly do not like the idea of some of my nephews having to grow up in a culture where they may be bullied, shamed, or even simply persuaded by circumstances into hating or disowning many of their gifts and natural qualities. That is, self-destructing all in the name of "manning up". Ugh. It just makes me sad and angry.

  9. #139
    Almöhi Stephano's Avatar
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    By looking at India, definitely yes! But here in the west?? Come on!
    4w3 - 7w6 - 1w9 : The Idealist

  10. #140
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    Just wanted to comment on how awesome this is. This is so, so great and makes me very happy. One of the biggest issues I have with macho culture is that boys and young men can so often be overlooked as actual or potential victims. I particularly do not like the idea of some of my nephews having to grow up in a culture where they may be bullied, shamed, or even simply persuaded by circumstances into hating or disowning many of their gifts and natural qualities. That is, self-destructing all in the name of "manning up". Ugh. It just makes me sad and angry.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


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