User Tag List

View Poll Results: Do you believe rape culture exists?

Voters
65. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    47 72.31%
  • No

    18 27.69%
First 8910111220 Last

Results 91 to 100 of 567

  1. #91
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    7,988

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Typh0n View Post
    @<a href="http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/members/9672.html" target="_blank">Robopop</a> Weird it didnt notify me when you quoted me.

    But I think that while there certainly is alot of sensible stuff in rap music, theres also alot of stuff about "bitches and hos", though it depends on the artist, really. If you're into more socially oriented rap music, you might get less of it, and you will hear some very sensible stuff. I guess I generalized when blaming rap music, I dont mean to say all rap and rap music promotes sexual denigration of women, but a large percentage of rappers do, more so than in other subcultures it seems.
    This particular part of the discussion brings this to mind.

    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  2. #92
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    What do you notice as signs of violent nature in men?
    Failure to respect boundaries - same as it would be with women. It may be someone a woman knows: a coworker, neighbor, brother's friend, etc. The familiarity causes her to want to trust him to the point of overriding the evidence of her own senses, and giving him too much benefit of the doubt, until it is too late. Boundary crossing can be standing a bit too close; touching a bit too much, or in the wrong place; placing himself between her and the exit, seeming to literally back her into a corner; even discussion that is more personal, sexual, or disrespectful than usual.

    Women are often raised to be polite and accommodating, to avoid conflict, to be peacemakers, to put the other person first. Better for them to know their own boundaries and place at least equal emphasis on their own comfort. Stepping away and saying, "Hey, buddy - that's just a bit too close", or "Sorry, but you don't get to touch me that way" really isn't that rude, but makes the point. Someone with truly friendly intentions will be embarrassed, back off, and probably even apologize. Someone who doesn't, but instead persists and insists, has crossed the line into threatening behavior, and should be dealt with accordingly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eluded_One View Post
    As long as there is media brainwashing such as music videos to objectify women, there will always be some broad acceptance that it's OK to behave or dress this way because it's great to feel important and sexy. I'm not telling women to dress up as nuns. After all, nuns can be just as provocative in their own mannerism. The imagination is the strongest aphrodisiac..
    What is most sad is that women are so complicit, often prominent, in the objectification of women in popular culture.

    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Do you wonen experience any differences in the way you look at or interact with men when horny? If yes how? Do ypu start treating them as sex(ual) objects?
    No, actually. If that happens, it makes me miss my SO and want to be with him.

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    This is another major issue I have about the 'movement' against rape culture--there is very little acknowledging the control women have in their own lives and in the lives of the women around them. It is impossible to say that men have slipped into rape culture mentalities without saying that we, as women collectively, allowed it to happen on some level. We're half the population. If it really pissed us off in the beginning stages, it would have been squashed long ago. To say there are only two sides is ridiculous--there are many neutral stances, and careless stances, and gray areas all inbetween. I don't really mind a neutral stance on this issue. There are plenty of men that don't objectify women, that grew up watching rap music videos on TV and still are decent guys, that go to clubs but don't actively try to get with the drunkest woman in the room.. I can completely understand a guy saying he's not an anti rape culture activist, but that he doesn't really want to rape women or make them feel uncomfortable around him either.
    This comment is incredibly important. Women are complicit in "rape culture" as well; how can we not be? We were raised in it, too. It is pointless to scold men for not respecting our rights and our value, when we often do poorly at this ourselves. Unfortunately suggesting that there is something women (or an individual woman) can do to better her situation and chip away at this, is often attacked as "victim blaming".

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I was discussing this with my boyfriend the other day, and he said something really important to me. "The decisions you make, and the influences you have on others with those decisions.. those DO contribute to the movement, one way or the other. You don't have to hate men, go to rallies, or get on a soapbox to make a change in it all. Just living your life will help it, or hurt it." I think the most essential task in this anti-rape culture movement is to get CLOSER to men, not to push them farther away. And that part has massively failed.
    Exactly. This is a bit like I wrote to Hard, on at least being aware enough of the problem that you don't contribute to it. Put another way, it is leading by example, one of the best ways in the long run.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Yeah, that's what I meant. And following the definition @EJCC posted: "which people aren’t taught not to rape, but are taught not to be raped." - there are still way too many people out there blaming the victim for what happened to them, how the victim failed at not being raped, etc. That's one of the reasons why I believe rape culture exists still.
    OK, so if I am jogging in the park tomorrow morning and a guy grabs me from behind and starts dragging me into the bushes, should I tell him he needs to go off and learn not to rape? Or should I instead avail myself of things I can do here and now to avoid or escape it?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #93
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    17,906

    Default

    The statistics in this article kind of shocked me.

    Nearly one in five women surveyed said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point, and one in four reported having been beaten by an intimate partner. One in six women have been stalked, according to the report.

    One in seven men have experienced severe violence at the hands of an intimate partner, the survey found, and one in 71 men — between 1 percent and 2 percent — have been raped, many when they were younger than 11.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  4. #94
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,839

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    The statistics in this article kind of shocked me.

    Nearly one in five women surveyed said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point, and one in four reported having been beaten by an intimate partner. One in six women have been stalked, according to the report.

    One in seven men have experienced severe violence at the hands of an intimate partner, the survey found, and one in 71 men — between 1 percent and 2 percent — have been raped, many when they were younger than 11.
    Unfortunately, that does not shock me in the least.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  5. #95
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Posts
    5,151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    OK, so if I am jogging in the park tomorrow morning and a guy grabs me from behind and starts dragging me into the bushes, should I tell him he needs to go off and learn not to rape? Or should I instead avail myself of things I can do here and now to avoid or escape it?
    Hmm, I'm not quite sure what you're asking here.

    If a guy starts dragging you to the bushes, stab that motherfucker in the throat.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #96
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,839

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    OK, so if I am jogging in the park tomorrow morning and a guy grabs me from behind and starts dragging me into the bushes, should I tell him he needs to go off and learn not to rape? Or should I instead avail myself of things I can do here and now to avoid or escape it?
    Female self-defense classes stress "stern lectures" to potential rapists. Very effective.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  7. #97
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,839

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    EJCC posted: "which people aren’t taught not to rape, but are taught not to be raped." - there are still way too many people out there blaming the victim for what happened to them, how the victim failed at not being raped, etc. That's one of the reasons why I believe rape culture exists still.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    OK, so if I am jogging in the park tomorrow morning and a guy grabs me from behind and starts dragging me into the bushes, should I tell him he needs to go off and learn not to rape? Or should I instead avail myself of things I can do here and now to avoid or escape it?
    Even though I think you misinterpreted @Chanaynay, you bring up a good point.

    While crap like this and the shitbag that made it are certainly part of the problem,





    Taking a multi pronged approach is much better (I may be getting of course here but I think it's worth mentioning). Taking womens self-defense classes. Being wary of who you're drinking around. Going in groups. If alone, maybe carrying mace, or hell, in America, a gun (if you're comfortable and trained).

    Personally I think Jiu Jitsu is a great martial art for women, as a last alternative survival tactic. It's a martial art that is conducted on the ground and there's about 108 ways to break a man's bones and/or choke him unconscious FROM YOUR BACK.

    1 example. Triangle Choke from closed guard.




    Very effective, relatively easy to learn. If correct pressure is applied at this point, dude is unconscious in about 5 seconds. Experienced it myself in training.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  8. #98
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,338

    Default

    As a practitioner of jiu-jitsu for 10 years I agree with the post above.

  9. #99
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    I've always found this an odd phrasing. I don't see any kind of culture in the US that is accepting of or even promoting rape, not directly. I'm not going to say anything that hasn't been said before, here & elsewhere, but I feel like rambling a bit, so...

    As a woman in the US, I'm not living in fear of rape, and I see a lot more support in this culture for victims as compared to other cultures and in past times. That's great. What's disturbing is how much the "she was asking for it" or "she really wanted it but is lying now due to slut shaming" attitudes are still found in some people. The victim blaming & shaming is shocking, but I find that true in other crimes also, especially sex crimes (ie. child molestation). I think this partly exists because people don't want to face that the perpetrators are not creepy dudes in back alleyways, but men & women they know & may even respect. So people have to reconcile the idea of this person they deem "normal" raping someone else, and the best they'll come up with is that the victim must have "caused" it somehow.

    This is why the idea of educating people about rape is still important, and it's not out of the idea that all or most men are inclined to it (as some seem to think is implied & get offended by), but that it's not random boogeymen committing these crimes & lines are not as clear as people would like them to be. There is still not enough discussion about rape being power driven & not lust driven, etc, which is really important to grasp as it explains why men rape men & even why women have raped men.

    What I also notice is a lack of empathy towards female experiences that men rarely have an equivalent of. Things are still framed & judged in the context of the male experience, and I think the taste of that in return (having something framed & judged from a different experience) is not something men are used to & many resist adapting. Women are already nurtured to try & grasp experiences of others & empathize, and then the whole structure of society necessitates this further (ie. "the man's world"). This is the "battle" that most feminists are trying to fight now, which is just to get people to see outside of this framework instead of taking it for granted.

    In terms of the existing structure: I still see objectification of women going strong & even growing, and there are lingering, even thriving, misogynist and sexist attitudes in Western culture. Unfortunately, some want to turn it into a competition of what gender is most oppressed, and then rape and related issues get trivialized in the process; or they just deny it so as not to address it at all. In short, I think it would be constructive if people would stop making it a battle of the sexes and try and understand a different view and experience from their own. When you funnel it down, complaints from both sides seem to amount to a sense of being lesser, having less value & recognition & rights & privileges, etc, but perhaps more or just as much burden. It seems when women point out how they, as a whole, have been demeaned, men jump to protect themselves from being demeaned instead of trying to understand WHY.

    It seems like men hear "men are bad!" in these discussions instead of "this is an issue plaguing your fellow human" & seeing how the core issue is not all that different from things which plague them, as a whole. It is disheartening how much men take the "I don't care about this particular issue" stance when it comes to stuff like this because its not something which directly affects them much. That's a normal response from people (ie, I couldn't care less about gay marriage), but the dismissive attitudes seem extra apathetic or even angry in this case. As I noted above, there's an undertone of defensiveness from feeling threatened or accused, even if there is no threatening or accusing going on.

    Really, the topic itself interests me less than why it makes people so mad to talk about it :P.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #100
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,338

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    This particular part of the discussion brings this to mind.

    Is that a porn video or a music video? I'm confused.

Similar Threads

  1. Do You Believe Hair Culture Exists?
    By Grand Admiral Crunch in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-12-2014, 10:48 AM
  2. How much do you believe you are an ther type?
    By Lexlike in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-19-2008, 04:51 PM
  3. What ideas do you believe are innate?
    By Kiddo in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 05-13-2008, 09:26 AM
  4. Do you believe in natural rights?
    By Kiddo in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 01-26-2008, 01:27 PM
  5. Do you believe in a higher power?
    By ygolo in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 09-03-2007, 08:58 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO