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  1. #11
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    Yeah, it's yet another clueless article by a guy who thinks his absurd levels of privilege in society are wrongfully under attack, all the while making the argument he's trying to attack.

    The existing system pushes people into gender roles. It tells men they aren't allowed to be empathic and talk about their feelings (lest they be labeled "feminine" or "gay," and it tells women they have to be obedient and empathic and sensitive, all the while mocking and dismissing them for these exact traits. "Those foolish women, listening to their feelings! We men are so much more rational... doing shit instead of giving a shit." Then they march off to some corner and express the only two emotions men are generally allowed to express: hate and anger. Indeed, it's no wonder our suicide rates are so high. Patriarchy hurts men too.

    And what a broken concept... the idea that just being there and doing stuff for another guy, like picking him up with our car when his breaks, is good enough. It's dismissive of the depth and complexity of our existence as humans to claim that all we need to do is do stuff for each other to feel wholly emotionally supported.

    I have almost exclusively female friends, because their feelings are far less likely to be totally locked down under a totally manufactured barrier of sports, guns, sexism and homophobic slurs. I can talk to them like human beings, relate to them, and they can relate to me. The male friends I have can take a compliment, a hug, and there are even a few who I can tell that I love them.

    I'm with Wade, and I think it's the worst kind of amusing that the article blames women's "infiltration of men's private places" when all of this bullshit stems from the sexist system, and the women are at the bottom of that system. It's the classic anti-feminist rant: "everything was fine when I could stand wherever I wanted and the women weren't complaining about my boot being on their fucking necks."


  2. #12
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Last weekend, when my friend's tire blew up, I took her and her friend out to breakfast, then to the tire shop, then to her van. There was talk about feelings. It didn't seem like they were mutually exclusive activities.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #13
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    Sad. Part of me thinks he shouldn't have bothered writing all that article, but either way men are going to be judged and imposed upon by slags and spinsters. Such a progressive society.



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  4. #14
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    K...I always enjoyed the company of an all male group. Such bonding and friendship, along with the humour and jokes. Always preferred it over the competitive, social climbing politics in a girl group. Then I was raised on that, with two big brothers so...it was easier to me, maybe.

    Didn't realize I was ruining their fun...and they seemed mighty happy to have me there at the time

    I do admit that I ended up bonding way easier in that group *becoz* they felt more comfortable talking to me - a girl - than to their buds about things. I always enjoyed that role but also was confused why they wouldn't go to their self-identified best friend with this stuff
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  5. #15
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawbawbowba View Post
    Sad. Part of me thinks he shouldn't have bothered writing all that article, but either way men are going to be judged and imposed upon by slags and spinsters. Such a progressive society.



    ErinyesP.jpg
    lol that picture.

  6. #16
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    Didn't ask for female input on this one.

    But as always we got it.

  7. #17
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Was it at all a bonus?
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Was it at all a bonus?
    Not from this humble observers perspective.

    Men fear the judgement of women more than that of the Lord.

    We had an ok thing going on the first page with @Mole & @highlander etc...

    Interestingly the preponderance of responses to the thread have been female. I wonder why that is.

    And I wonder what effect that has on how likely men are to participate in the discussion.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Not from this humble observers perspective.

    Men fear the judgement of women more than that of the Lord.

    We had an ok thing going on the first page with @Mole & @highlander etc...

    Interestingly the preponderance of responses to the thread have been female. I wonder why that is.

    And I wonder what effect that has on how likely men are to participate in the discussion.
    Isn't that partly the question though?

    Why is it that those groups need to exist? Why is it that men and women should be afraid of one anothers judgement, moreso than another persons judgement apparently? Just due to the rejection-attraction deal that goes on during the mating dance?

    I mean..for me, Ive always felt more comfortable amidst men *because* it was so much more no nonsense. It saddens me to think that my presence would give them such stress. And ime, it honestly doesn't have to. In fact, I often end up being the person they do talk to, without fear of judgement. At the same time, i do understand what you re talking about, I guess. There is an element of emotional and social politics and a...drive for social power that gets practised in largely female groups, especially in teenage and early twenties, I feel. I also experienced first hand what happened when you added a female with that pov to a group - especially if she sees you as a rival in her kingdom of men. Its...not pretty.

    Otoh, groups that look at the individual connections instead of the gender of those they hang out with are superior to all above mentioned group combinations, ime. There is an ease, playfulness and natural balance that occurs and is...beneficial for all people involved, of all genders.

    Isn't that a better solution than to 'create space for men' as such? To take away the need for such fear of judgement, regardless of the sex of the other person?

    And for that matter...wouldn't it be amazing if that is what could happen in this thread?
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoCares View Post
    Someone who clearly sees when societal rules are unnecessarily limiting and provide little value to our lives. Sure. I'm suggesting that American men maintain the relationships they personally find rewarding rather than trying to force that relationship into either a stereotype of who they should be 'as men' or the type of relationships women think they should have. I wouldn't want a man to blog and suggest that my female friendships should be strictly limited to shopping and gossiping for my own good. That's not how I naturally bond nor is it where I find value in relationships. Some people might be not me.
    This is my perspective. I see the article as pointless rambling. I'm male, and my closest friends are female. Problem solved.

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