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Thread: Misandry

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Men are the butt of alot of jokes, usually centered on their total lack of fashion sense, knack for making a mess, inability to cook anything except on the barbecue, fixation on sports/cars, and complete emotional insensitivity. This reflects some serious biases/stereotypes that don't correspond to reality.

    On the other hand, how many men would enjoy being told they are sharp dressers, good housekeepers, great cooks, very knowledgeable about music and art, and sensitive, empathetic fellows? This is the other side of the stereotype. Men who have these qualities (and most have at least some) are often not allowed to develop, enjoy, and share them without being judged or ridiculed.
    Right. People perpetuate stereotypes by joking about them, and enforce narrow gender associations. By complaining about how men are these negative things, I think it makes it (more of) a reality (than it would be otherwise). People largely live up to what you expect of them.

    I always try to encourage and compliment men on what I like about them, especially qualities they may be somewhat ashamed of as not being traditionally manly.

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    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    Any time you here "men are dogs" or "men only want one" thing.

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    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaqcues Le Paul View Post
    I cannot discuss this without injecting a experience related biases due to things that I will not go into detail about.

    I will sum my thoughts on this up though, as simply.

    I believe it exists, and I've seen many make assumptions and/or even act terribly insensitive towards aspects of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Misandry exists. I've encountered lots of misandry from "nice girls" who are not really nice. For some reason, I only attract misandric "nice girls."

    A "nice girl" once demanded I kill an innocent cockroach, because I'm a man, and all men do is kill things, apparently. "Nice girls" just want to use me for sex, and would rather I "stay positive" than hear about my problems. Meanwhile, I have to comfort and listen to whatever ridiculous thing they are crying about, like something mean someone did to their friend, or the time a parking attendant was an asshole and totally acted surly once for not paying the right parking fare.

    "Nice girls" are not so nice.
    Both of these, verbatim. I'm starting to wonder if women who actually respect men are mythical creatures that migrated many epochs ago away from the areas I live in :O

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Men are the butt of alot of jokes, usually centered on their total lack of fashion sense, knack for making a mess, inability to cook anything except on the barbecue, fixation on sports/cars, and complete emotional insensitivity. This reflects some serious biases/stereotypes that don't correspond to reality.

    On the other hand, how many men would enjoy being told they are sharp dressers, good housekeepers, great cooks, very knowledgeable about music and art, and sensitive, empathetic fellows? This is the other side of the stereotype. Men who have these qualities (and most have at least some) are often not allowed to develop, enjoy, and share them without being judged or ridiculed.
    As it happens, I'd love to be complimented on all of those things!

    Doesn't mean I am any of those things...just that I'd like to be thought of as such
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    The commercials and sit-coms almost always portray men as stupid and brutish, which is not cool.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    I'm pleasantly surprised at the way this thread turned out. I see my sarcasm was not warranted.

    I do think the "nice guy" thing is kind of misandric. Ok, so we're not supposed to be assholes. Fine. Now we're not supposed to be nice either? WTF? If the women complaining about "nice guys" left it at "I"m not sexually attracted to them, I like bad boys." That would be fine. You can't change what you're attracted to, anyway.

    What I have an issue with is the idea that they are only acting nice as a way of tricking women into thinking they aren't misogynists. Huh?

    I'm sure people will say that they don't mean '"guys who are nice" but something more specific, but I'm not sure if that more specific thing even exists. I'm sure I've probably seemed that way to women when I was more introverted and cautious.

    Oh yeah, I went there.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


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    Lately I've seen some pretty bad instances of what could be considered misandry. It surprises me how much some straight women really seem to have it out for men. And republicans think it's the dykes and feminazis doing it.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

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    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    I'm not a Republican. I'm just not sure what exactly is misogynistic about a "nice guy." It's never been adequately explained, which is why I think it is misandry.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I'm pleasantly surprised at the way this thread turned out. I see my sarcasm was not warranted.

    I do think the "nice guy" thing is kind of misandric. Ok, so we're not supposed to be assholes. Fine. Now we're not supposed to be nice either? WTF? If the women complaining about "nice guys" left it at "I"m not sexually attracted to them, I like bad boys." That would be fine. You can't change what you're attracted to, anyway.

    What I have an issue with is the idea that they are only acting nice as a way of tricking women into thinking they aren't misogynists. Huh?

    I'm sure people will say that they don't mean '"guys who are nice" but something more specific, but I'm not sure if that more specific thing even exists. I'm sure I've probably seemed that way to women when I was more introverted and cautious.

    Oh yeah, I went there.
    They're only "nice guys" if they believe that popping in friendship tokens entitles them to future sex.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    They're only "nice guys" if they believe that popping in friendship tokens entitles them to future sex.
    I've seen women do the same thing, though. A woman even did it to me, once. I should have recognized what was going on there, and on some level, I did. Problem was, rather than discourage that situation, I did nothing because I didn't want to look like a jerk. I ran into this person on Saturday, and we both pretended not to notice each other. It was really uncomfortable, but I think stuff like this happens.

    It really doesn't have anything to do with misogyny or misandry as far as I can tell, and more to do with people being clueless about relationships. I mean, it was wrong of me to not do something about that situation, and I regret it, but everyone makes mistakes.

    It's just that for some reason, some people think it's more threatening or offensive when it's a man who is hanging around a woman and giving "friendship tokens "to get sex."' And isn't the issue really that the woman isn't willing to reciprocate? (Which is fine). If the woman actually liked the guy, I doubt she would object to the fact that this person was hanging around with them as friends while actually wanting more.


    Complaints about "nice guys" are really just about two socially awkward people not having a clue as to how to handle these kinds of situations. People grow out of it.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I've seen women do the same thing, though. A woman even did it to me, once. I should have recognized what was going on there, and on some level, I did. Problem was, rather than discourage that situation, I did nothing because I didn't want to look like a jerk. I ran into this person on Saturday, and we both pretended not to notice each other. It was really uncomfortable, but I think stuff like this happens.

    It really doesn't have anything to do with misogyny or misandry as far as I can tell, and more to do with people being clueless about relationships. I mean, it was wrong of me to not do something about that situation, and I regret it, but everyone makes mistakes.

    It's just that for some reason, some people think it's more threatening or offensive when it's a man who is hanging around a woman and giving "friendship tokens "to get sex."' And isn't the issue really that the woman isn't willing to reciprocate? (Which is fine). If the woman actually liked the guy, I doubt she would object to the fact that this person was hanging around with them as friends while actually wanting more.


    Complaints about "nice guys" are really just about two socially awkward people not having a clue as to how to handle these kinds of situations. People grow out of it.
    I disagree but this is not the thread for that, so I will say no more.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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