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  1. #1
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Default The Masculine Man

    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!


    — Rudyard Kipling


    Is the masculine man a dinosaur better relegated to a bygone era? Are his issues ignored by society, unappreciated my the media, are his merits forgotten in wake of female empowerment? Has cultural degeneration left him stranded alone in paradise?

    Why is it that we laugh at his bloated ego and belly, yet yearn for a strong shoulder in romance and a determined leader in politics? Where and how is a young boy supposed to learn what it means to be a man when all he sees around him are sissies and fags? When we have done away with traditional gender roles, will we not one day have done away with tradition altogether, with the world as we knew it? Will we eventually lose touch with our own history because a man is no longer a man, ignorant of what he once was? Are women evil? Is the cock mightier than the beaver? How do 'Mad Men' and Viagra fit into the picture? How do you?

    We must choose whether we want men to be like Sean Connery or like Justin Bieber. There are no other options!

  2. #2
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Was alcohol involved here?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #3
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Tsk tsk, typical entitled straight white male who's scared of losing his power.

    Oh wait, you're gay.

    Btw, I wanna be JB.





    Swag.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Was alcohol involved here?
    No.

  5. #5
    Riva
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    Girls like bieber but women like bond. Testosterone is adaptive. Surviving, mating, fighting, politics, sports, risk taking etc, you name it, it is there. It is needed and it has adapted to man's different needs. I think it's safe to assume that it will adapt to cultural changes of the 21st century as it always has to cultural changes and other needs/changes. What it does not need and never has is a helping hand or protection. If it ever comes to that it means it is not needed anymore.

  6. #6
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Um....

    Like so many things in life, it is more complex than black-and-white/yes-or-no/on-or-off. Our society is rife with contradictions re expectations upon both men and women. And each individual often has conflicting values re what they want in an s.o. As in all things, it's probably a matter of balance:

    1. No, I don't like guys whose underpants I can see. Pull up your pants; you're not cool. Sometimes I like to see a man in a sexy suit. But that doesn't mean he should have a pole up his butt.

    2. I like a guy who has an opinion and takes a stand on things. But I don't want a dictatorial weirdo who is going to force his opinions on me and expect me to be an obedient dog.

    3. I like guys who are funny and have a sense of humor and can be a goofball. But they should also be capable of having an intelligent conversation and contribute meaningfully to discussions.

    4. Guys are cool when they hold open the door for other people or give their lady a kiss on the hand (if it's genuine). But don't tell me I can't do something like study or get a job just because I'm a woman. I'm a woman, but I'm a person. Respect me as such.

    5. Guys should have a sex drive and be all rawr and powerful. But being a man is also about self-control (knowing when to keep it in your pants) and being respectful to your lady.

    6. Men should have the option of wanting to be able to provide for their families without being seen as a macho dude. But they shouldn't tell the woman that she can't have any money of her own. Women and men should be able to be independent (i.e. not codependent) while still being able to show their love and respect for each other.

    And lots of other things, but if I write them all down, it would be tl;dr. I think you get my point. Just be balanced and have a balanced approach to relationships based on mutual love, caring, and respect. Jesus, what's so hard about that? Why do relationships have to be power games?
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  7. #7
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    No one has to give beavers their power. They just take it.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #8
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Om nom nom trees!!!! (Sorry, I'm in a weird mood).
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    No one has to give beavers their power. They just take it.
    One more vote against affirmative action. Noted.

  10. #10
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    IMO the mistake of the OP is to assume that "masculinity" is a social conditioning, that men try to emulate, rather than a way that most (not all) men naturally are. This may be true of the Rudyard Kipling school of Victorian values. However, this would seem to be a strawman, as Rudyard Kipling's "If" is not the only model of masculinity know to man.

    David Deida says that every human is somewhere on a masculintiy/femininity scale, and you have to be true to your own nature in order to be happy and to successful.

    I consider that I am quite masculine, and the challenge for me therefore is to realize this in a positive way, rather than to repress it. When a masculine man tries to repress his nature and to be more "nice", it will express itself as blandness, repression, passive aggression and fakeness. a HUGE turnoff for any woman, and for other people generally - except for other male losers like themselves.

    In the same way that a person suffering from a phobia can learn techniques to overcome their psychosis (is that the right word?) - so can a person who is not in touch with their true desires, learn techniques to express their best self.

    Currently, I have found for me, these techniques have helped me to become a much happier and more effective person in reaching my goals: whether romantic, social or business.

    So my two cents are that for me, masculinity can have great results, when expressed in a natural, pure form, as opposed to emulating an external ideal.

    Internal techniques:

    "Inhabit your body" (see Eckhart Tolle)

    Get "out of your head" and Root yourself in your feet, legs and pelvis (as opposed to storing anxiety in your head, shoulders and chest, channel it into your "root" - see many eastern meditation technqiues in Hinduism and Buddhism).

    External Techniques:

    Maintain posture (the two above technqiues will allow your shoulder + chest to be "strecthed + widened" effortlessly)

    Maintain strong, flat voice tone, talk slowly and loudly, do not let your voice hesitate or go up like a "question", ALLOW SILENCES TO LINGER do NOT "overtalk" to fill them, rather you "own them".

    Maintain strong eye contact, ESPECIALLY THROUGH SILENCES.

    Lifestyle Techniques:

    Seek positive examples and you will see them. cleanse negative influences (people, media) from your life as much as possible

    Create your own experience of reality by only consuming and meeting positive and constructive examples - "each person is the average of the five people they hang around with" - this also goes for media etc.

    NEVER seek approval or try to impress others. Never try to be the center of attention or to entertain. The masculine role in a conversation is to start the conversation, and then simply to provide a basis for the feminine to shine. Just listen, observe, scrutinize, and give honest feedback. Be the King, not the Jester.

    NEVER try to change others, ALWAYS ask what YOU could do better - not by their criteria but according to your own. Leading onto...

    Consider yourself a beginner, and seek to view every day as a tourist, where you learn, and evolve constantly. Your bullshit will never be resolve, don't wish it to be: just accept that all challenges and objection exist to MAKE YOU BETTER.

    With these simple techniques, I find doors opening all around me, with women, business contacts, and friends, which I never thought possible.

    Of course I would never claim to have "mastered" anything. But these techniques I have found, are helping me to express myself as I feel, and to achieve previously unbelievable (to me) results very quickly.

    I would say the above meets my understanding of "masculinity", and that I find it is very well recieved by others, much more so than fake, passive aggressive, "nice guy" behaviour (as opposed to being a genuinely good person, which is diametrically opposed to being a "nice guy").

    And that it has nothing to do with sitting around talking crap about what you saw on Friends or what you read in Cosmopolitan.

    You can only feel it and experience it.


    Aaaaaameeen brother. (See I even have a sense of humor!)

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