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  1. #31
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    The masculine man still exists. Just look for the dude who allows his actions to speak rather than his words.
    I N V I C T U S

  2. #32
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    I take my masculinity for granted. I don't see why I should wonder whether I am masculine of feminine.

    I do think that masculinity and feminity is wielded like a whip for social control.

    I think the controllers prey upon those who are uncertain or vulnerable and try to whip them into line.

    Perhaps the best thing is to find oneself outside of the lowest common denominators of masculine and feminine.

    So it's a kind of psychological trick to make us think we are defined exclusively by our masculinity or our femininity - after all, these categories don't tell us much about a person.

  3. #33
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    I thought of another great technique, which is not "easy" but if you can apply, it's the best thing ever.

    I consider it "masculine" but someone else may have their own take on it:

    "Confidence" is bullshit. "Confidence" is simply situational competence.

    Nobody can ever overcome anxiety.

    But instead, understand that anxiety is evolution's way of telling you that you need to act.

    When you feel it in your head, stomach and chest, consciously put your attention on your feet, legs and pelvis.

    You will find you get a mad rush of energy and can barely stand still, and you will break into a smile without meaning to.

    From being "closed" you become extremely "loose", from being "frozen" you become extremely "quick on your feet", from being "flustered" you become extremely "centred".

    In this way, with practice, the more "anxiety" you feel momentarily, the more "relaxed" you immediately become outwardly, and the more "energetic" you feel inside, in fact, to a much greater degree than before you felt that anxiety/energy rush.

    Not so easy but anyone can do it with studying and practice (countless vids on YouTube), and when you do, it's amazing.

  4. #34
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackmail! View Post
    According to the so-called masculinity-feminity scale, where would I be if I can switch my behaviour depending on my current mood and interests?

    And worst than that, most people I know IRL can also exhibit contradictory behaviours according to the situation. Most people are complex beings.
    Il Morto did later specify that the distinction in behavior he described applied specifically to social encounters with women. I still know many people who don't follow the role that corresponds to their gender, so as you say, people are more complex.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    The masculine man still exists. Just look for the dude who allows his actions to speak rather than his words.
    So if a woman puts more emphasis on actions than words, does this make her masculine, or just an honest and trustworthy woman?

    Quote Originally Posted by Il Morto Che Parla View Post
    I thought of another great technique, which is not "easy" but if you can apply, it's the best thing ever.

    I consider it "masculine" but someone else may have their own take on it:

    "Confidence" is bullshit. "Confidence" is simply situational competence.

    Nobody can ever overcome anxiety.

    But instead, understand that anxiety is evolution's way of telling you that you need to act.
    ===================
    Not so easy but anyone can do it with studying and practice (countless vids on YouTube), and when you do, it's amazing.
    Interesting. My approach to anxiety is study and practice, but not exactly the kind you describe. The study involves being (over)prepared for the situation that causes the anxiety. The practice comes from doing it so many times, that when the anxiety comes the next time, I know "I've been here so many times before; I'm prepared; it will all work out." I dive in and the anxiety dissipates.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #35
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    "So if a woman puts more emphasis on actions than words, does this make her masculine, or just an honest and trustworthy woman?"
    @Coriolis

    Masculinity and femininity are flavors that as we both know don't heed gender. However, what you said tells of the rising trend of women being more self-oriented (masculine) where as before, women were more "other oriented" and feminine...overly so. The tipping of the scales of too-feminine women and overly masculine men are heading more in the balanced direction.
    I N V I C T U S

  6. #36
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    Masculinity and femininity are flavors that as we both know don't heed gender. However, what you said tells of the rising trend of women being more self-oriented (masculine) where as before, women were more "other oriented" and feminine...overly so. The tipping of the scales of too-feminine women and overly masculine men are heading more in the balanced direction.
    This reminds me of a remark I made on another thread. Someone accused me of denigrating femininity, and I replied that the ideal of femininity seems to have become a magnet for many weak and limiting qualities: things like passivity, dependence, frivolity, emotionality, timidity, submissiveness, over-sensitiveness, irrationality, superficiality. Yes, lists of masculine traits contain negative things as well, but there seem to be far fewer, and not nearly as limiting to the individual displaying them.

    Perhaps femininity in the traditional Western sense is going by the wayside, just like bustles and hoop skirts. We can all access a more balanced and androgynous slate of qualities, just as we all enjoy the comfort, ease and practicality of what was long considered male clothing.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  7. #37
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    This reminds me of a remark I made on another thread. Someone accused me of denigrating femininity, and I replied that the ideal of femininity seems to have become a magnet for many weak and limiting qualities: things like passivity, dependence, frivolity, emotionality, timidity, submissiveness, over-sensitiveness, irrationality, superficiality. Yes, lists of masculine traits contain negative things as well, but there seem to be far fewer, and not nearly as limiting to the individual displaying them.

    Perhaps femininity in the traditional Western sense is going by the wayside, just like bustles and hoop skirts. We can all access a more balanced and androgynous slate of qualities, just as we all enjoy the comfort, ease and practicality of what was long considered male clothing.
    Exactly. We're happening on the fact that the lines that defined us inhibited us. Femininity has much power in it. Communication and devotion are its children.
    I N V I C T U S

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