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  1. #1
    Wonderer Samuel De Mazarin's Avatar
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    Default English and the EU

    " The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted to in ze first plas."
    Madman's azure lie: a zen miasma ruled.

    Realize us, Madman!

    I razed a slum, Amen.

    ...............................................

  2. #2
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Sounds simple.

  3. #3
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    One word: Esperanto.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  4. #4
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samuel De Mazarin View Post
    " The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted to in ze first plas."
    HAHAHAHA! You crazy guy You're starting to rival me in my craziness, and that's BAD!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  5. #5
    Wonderer Samuel De Mazarin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    HAHAHAHA! You crazy guy You're starting to rival me in my craziness, and that's BAD!
    no no... it's not mine... hence the quotation marks... I couldn't find proper attribution...

    : )
    Madman's azure lie: a zen miasma ruled.

    Realize us, Madman!

    I razed a slum, Amen.

    ...............................................

  6. #6
    Wonderer Samuel De Mazarin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    One word: Esperanto.
    Interlingua's far easier to pick up for speakers of European languages, IMHO. At first glance because of the simpler phonology and spelling, but the grammar's also far simpler.

    Interlingua:

    "Le homine, vidente su inimico arriva in le distantia, ha prendite un position celate de retro de un petra gigante pro imboscar le."

    "Correspondentes contribue con articulos super themas que on non trova in altere magazines, e novas central e actual es presentate in un interlingua clar."

    Esperanto:

    "Fulmotondro povas facile detrui vian retkonekton."

    "Jen provo redoni iom malsimplajn vortojn en Esperanto per pli simplaj. Esperanto estas lingvo kun krea povo, do uzu ĝin kree! Esprimu vin nuance, komprenige, ne per sensukaj piednotendaj vortaĵoj. Gustumu ĉi tie la potencon de la simplaj vortoj anstataŭ la proponojn de komplikantoj."

    "Mi neniam estis tie antaŭe."


    Glosa's not too much easier than Esperanto because of all the particles.

    Glosa:

    "A prima vista posi id feno u no-spe ergo de face u verba-lista; qi fu sati panto nece volu de interkomunika; sed inklude ne ma de, posi, u kilo basi verba."

    "Pe ne nece studi id mega tem te detekti u mega mero de lista es ne-nece."
    Madman's azure lie: a zen miasma ruled.

    Realize us, Madman!

    I razed a slum, Amen.

    ...............................................

  7. #7
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    Love it.

    Golden Pages: product, business and service search directory for Ireland - Search Results - sober people in Ireland

    This made me laugh. Apologies for enriching shameful stereotypes; I am actually envious of the country in question's interesting accent, culture, and HDI.

    Disclaimer of forethought:not my attention to turn the thread into an acceptability debate.
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    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  8. #8
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    That was great! Thanks!
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
    ~~~~
    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
    ~~~~
    "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou.
    ~~~~
    I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi
    ~~~~

  9. #9
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  10. #10
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

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