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  1. #81
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Nobody should invalidate your experiences and feelings.
    I really like cats and food.

  2. #82
    Senior Member Gish's Avatar
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  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post


    Women don't yell "show us your cock" because of how our species evolved. Sexually reproducing animals have one gender that pursues and another that is pursued. There are some species where the males are pursued.
    So it's a case of "boys will be boys". People use that to justify or excuse a lot of sexist behavior.

  4. #84
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Also, it doesn't have to be us vs. them. Men and women can be allies against sexism. But it requires listening to and acknowledging the experiences of the other, instead of picking them apart and insisting you know better what the person who harassed them meant (or that it even matters). I haven't seen that done in reverse here- it's not that we don't understand what the person who approached Njin meant. It's that what he meant doesn't really matter. Meaning well (in one's own mind) does not make it okay to force unwanted interaction.
    Well, it's pretty much always framed as "us vs them". When that's your starting point, these discussions end up being like a session of Congress.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  5. #85
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gish View Post
    Can we talk about how sexist women are?
    The OP is everyday sexism, so if you've experienced sexist women in your life you're more than happy to post the issues you frequently deal with here. Sexism is a two-way street, and there are plenty of FonM sexism examples out there.
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  6. #86
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    * being told that I was asking for it because I was wearing short shorts and was drunk... and that comes from both genders/sexes

    * being called a dirty slut because I have a sex drive and am willing to hit on men myself (thanks women... that mostly comes from you, bitches )

    * getting told that I can have the big account if I'm willing to cheat on my boyfriend with them or suck their cock

    * no matter how smart I am, it's my body that gets more comments than my mind... that's another thing that both genders tend to do

    * people assuming that I want to settle down and have babies... especially problematic when I was looking for a job and it was assumed that a woman my age would be missing time due to such things... women will assume that as well...

    * getting told repeatedly in high school that being smart and ambitious was an unattractive quality in a girl (fuck you everybody)

    * the assumption that it's ok to touch someone who's showing some skin, because skimpier clothes mean that you're out to get laid... has it occurred to anyone that a crowded club is fucking HOT and wearing much will make you sweat like a walrus in the amazon?

    * if you're direct you're a bitch and probably PMS-ing... that double standard always gets me

    * the comment "you do such a good job for a woman"... I do a fucking good job for a human being, dickwad... look at my stats! woman has nothing to do with it (that's with my new and physically demanding job)

    * the pickup line common around here of "how many kids do you have?"... what am I? a fucking baby machine? If that's your way of asking if I'm in a relationship, you have a pretty dismal view of how things work

    there's just as much sexism from my own gender as from the other when I think about it... the stereotypes have been ingrained so long that there will always be some sort of bitchtastic Phyllis Schlafly types who will come along and try to keep a woman down just as much as anyone else, which is something that I just don't get... I intellectually can understand the mechanisms of it, but I don't get it nonetheless... I'm not sure that I can really explain it

    and furthermore, to myself here- the fear that I get in the back of my mind when surrounded by men who are getting a little too friendly because I know that they're bigger than I am... yeah, I know that it's a basic self preservational instinct, but why do I have to draw those conclusions about them? and about me? Fuck that shit...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #87
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    So it's a case of "boys will be boys". People use that to justify or excuse a lot of sexist behavior.
    An explanation is not a justification. I don't believe that behavior is justified. Evolution explains why some men exhibit that behavior while no women exhibit it. And I was responding to a post where she claimed to not understand that.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  8. #88
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gish View Post
    Can we talk about how sexist women are?
    Start another thread...
    Realize that men use their ability to physically dominate as a tacit form of power over women. So any sexism by women must be viewed in that context as well, meaning that sexual aggresson from a woman probably does not contain the implied threat of violence and so rarely feels as threatening.

  9. #89
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gish View Post
    Can we talk about how sexist women are?
    This has been acknowledged many times already. For example here:

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    Why is it okay for mothers (and yes, they can be sexist too) to tell their daughters rather than being a lawyer or a doctor she should just marry one? Why do other women put pressure on women to procreate and if god forbid they go back to work too soon they are deemed failures? Why is it a failure to have an epidural or drugs during childbirth (militant moms are scary).
    Although I would add that it's also kind of crappy to get "why on earth would you want to do THAT" and worse from other women regarding the personal choice of natural childbirth or breastfeeding or even just having children at all.

    And more than once the guys have been invited to share their experiences with being harassed by women. Nobody is saying that's okay- nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable, and if it happens, the correct response is "I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable," not "you frigid cunt" or whatever it is women say to men who are made to feel uncomfortable by their advances.

  10. #90
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Nobody is saying that's okay- nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable, and if it happens, the correct response is "I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable," not "you frigid cunt" or whatever it is women say to men who are made to feel uncomfortable by their advances.
    thanks to one of the terrifyingly clydesdale like, accused of rape former basketball players who lived down the hall from me in the dorms one year (girls dorms, for the record), the thing that one's supposed to say to a man who says no is "what, are you a faggot or something?"

    yeah... she got in trouble for raping a guy...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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