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  1. #61
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    I do have the empathy. I can see how it could be uncomfortable. After taking both sides into account, I just disagree with you labeling it as sexist. If you have more context to add (was it whispered in your ear? were you groped when the guy said it?), my position might change. But if it was just a passing comment, no, it's not sexist. I asked you earlier if a male doing something that makes you uncomfortable is sexist by your definition because I don't agree with that assertion.
    Most of the time the verbal interactions happen well within personal space. Like touching your face and telling you you're too pretty to be sad. Like a taxi driver pulling over and feeling the scars on my face and neck and telling me how beautiful they are. without invitation. perhaps 'harassment' would have been a better title, would that satisfy the need to negate sexism?

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    I do have the empathy. I can see how it could be uncomfortable. After taking both sides into account, I just disagree with you labeling it as sexist. If you have more context to add (was it whispered in your ear? were you groped when the guy said it?), my position might change. But if it was just a passing comment, no, it's not sexist. I asked you earlier if a male doing something that makes you uncomfortable is sexist by your definition because I don't agree with that assertion.
    That kind of comment is generally followed by a sense of outrage and anger when you don't respond to it positively and then you get called a dumb bitch for not smiling.

    Because, you know, the guy is entitled to a smile for paying attention to you.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Where did I ask people to shut up and be content for what they have? I explained why the labeling of the US as a "sexist society" bothered me. Nothing more. You're now creating straw men out of that statement, claiming what...now I'm against any further progress? That no one should ever feel violated? I think I've been quite clear on this. Maybe you skipped over some posts.
    Just because it's "better" than it was in the past doesn't mean it's not still sexist. You don't see it that way but like you've already pointed out, personal opinions aren't the gospel truth.

  4. #64
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    That kind of comment is generally followed by a sense of outrage and anger when you don't respond to it positively and then you get called a dumb bitch for not smiling.

    Because, you know, the guy is entitled to a smile for paying attention to you.
    thank you. it's the anger afterwards that is the clincher. you go from being 'pretty' to a 'dumb slut' in one breath.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  5. #65
    Senior Member Gish's Avatar
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    How easy it is to paint the argument as Us vs. Them when all we are really fighting are ourselves.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gish View Post
    How great that Bart is working in a whore house in this particular scene, are you calling all the women in this thread whores, 93JC?
    I hadn't thought of the context of the gif beyond Grandpa Simpson walking in, seeing the situation was probably to be avoided, and walking out.

    Thank you, Gish, for pointing out that... well, quite simply I shouldn't have posted anything in this thread at all.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    That kind of comment is generally followed by a sense of outrage and anger when you don't respond to it positively and then you get called a dumb bitch for not smiling.

    Because, you know, the guy is entitled to a smile for paying attention to you.
    Where did you read that the guy called her names for not responding? If he did, my position would be different (as I have explained numerous times). But my position is based upon what he actually did, not on what people assume could have happened or what was maybe, possibly going on in his head. Without any sort of negative reaction, I don't agree that it was sexist. The words "you're too pretty to frown", alone, are not sexist. Uncomfortable? Maybe, but uncomfortable does not equal sexist.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Where did you read that the guy called her names for not responding? If he did, my position would be different (as I have explained numerous times). But my position is based upon what he actually did, not on what people assume could have happened or what was maybe, possibly going on in his head. Without any sort of negative reaction, I don't agree that it was sexist. The words "you're too pretty to frown", alone, are not sexist. Uncomfortable? Maybe, but uncomfortable does not equal sexist.
    I said "generally," so not in this specific instance but because I generally find it to be true. This has happened to me more than once. It's happened to me pretty much each time someone used this phrase or a variation on it and I didn't respond.

    Sounds like Nij's general experience is in line with mine too.

    If something happens often enough, warning signs and triggers are enough to get your hackles up. That's NOT an unreasonable response.

  9. #69
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Just because it's "better" than it was in the past doesn't mean it's not still sexist. You don't see it that way but like you've already pointed out, personal opinions aren't the gospel truth.
    And I never said it was an incorrect label. I said "there's something I don't like about it". I don't think it tells the whole story.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  10. #70
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    I said "generally," so not in this specific instance but because I generally find it to be true. This has happened to me more than once. It's happened to me pretty much each time someone used this phrase or a variation on it and I didn't respond.

    Sounds like Nij's general experience is in line with mine too.
    Well, for people reacting to things they imagine might happen, but not to what is actually happening, that's on them. I asked numerous times for more context on that incident, but none was ever provided.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

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