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  1. #531
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    In my first college corse we had a grad student as a teacher. Total self absorbed hack. But he was also really inappropriate. He would ask everyone about how trashed they got that weekend and them talk about his own outings. He routinely would give unsolicited shoulder rubs to girls in class and told my friend to do a self portrait o her right side because it was her "sexy side". He also gave me my only c of college despite having gotten a's on all the projects. It was after I rejected one out his flirty advances. Literally a project I had gotten an overwhelmingly positive critique and a he said "an a for you" he gave me a c- in the grade book.

  2. #532
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    you should dispute the grade (if you still can), there's a dispute policy we have at universities here so that if you get a shit run from someone (unfairly) you work is then moderated by other lecturers and given an appropriate grade.

    he sounded like a douchecanoe.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  3. #533
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    All Im asking for is for the right to not be terrified and have to look at the floor to indicate that i dont wanna be harassed or force-kissed. You're making out like I'm going for the holy grail - aka walking around naked without any guy considering it an invitation to cat call or worse. While that is a nice utopia, Im aware that that one is out of reach still for a very long time.

    But I can at least try to achieve this small step, no?

    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    You don't have to be terrified and look at the floor. How you react is up to you.

    You can always hold your head high and say get lost creep. Don't allow yourself to be put in a mental prison of fear.

    Being terrified is up to you.
    there is a difference in between your appearance arousing sexual interest and people actually acting on it.

    Also, sometimes it doesn't matter what you're dressed like.


    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  4. #534
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    i guess it's kind of like how we teach our daughters how not to get raped, rather than teaching our sons not to.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  5. #535
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    i guess it's kind of like how we teach our daughters how not to get raped, rather than teaching our sons not to.
    This was something that pissed me off as a kid. The youngest at home as an only girl, i got talked to about things my older brothers did t even realise was a apparently an issue. The safety measures, the being forced to take martial arts ( to the point where my mom demanded classes in school from the principal - she is epic that way) where my brothers got the choice to do martial arts or not, the non stop not trusting to go anywhere and ontrusive questions about what had happened, the mandatory being picked up in public till i was 18 and even then iand getting punished for being a minute late on a watch that was fast to mine coz of the anxiety my mom felt coz I WAS A GIRL, not to mention the outright refusal to do some of the things my brother was allowed to do coz he was a guy at my age were just outright atrocious.


    I remember venting to my french study guide who told me it was the way of the world. They have a saying in french which roughly translated goes like this:

    Watch your hens, im releasing my rooster.


    Well id love to fucking share that Big Brother eye on me with those gorram roosters already, see how they like it.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #536
    A Mystery Jacques Le Paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    i guess it's kind of like how we teach our daughters how not to get raped, rather than teaching our sons not to.
    Not attempting to knitpick at you, but the vibe of this makes me think you only want sons to be taught not to rape. (Humouring the idea that not a single son isn't)

    Why not do both?


    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Always trust the hairs on the back of your neck.
    This can work for and against you.

    Really depends on the situation you're in to be honest.
    Always forward, never back!

    "I always love talking to people and hearing their story. People always have a good life story to tell ya know?"



    My blog in regular blogs

  7. #537
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaqcues Le Paul View Post
    Not attempting to knitpick at you, but the vibe of this makes me think you only want sons to be taught not to rape. (Humouring the idea that not a single son isn't)

    Why not do both?




    This can work for and against you.

    Really depends on the situation you're in to be honest.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  8. #538
    A Mystery Jacques Le Paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Is this a subtle warning, that I need to make a due exit?
    Always forward, never back!

    "I always love talking to people and hearing their story. People always have a good life story to tell ya know?"



    My blog in regular blogs

  9. #539
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaqcues Le Paul View Post
    Not attempting to knitpick at you, but the vibe of this makes me think you only want sons to be taught not to rape. (Humouring the idea that not a single son isn't)

    Why not do both?
    Do you realise by phrasing your question in that way you are implying that rape is a natural way of interacting with another human being?
    People don't have to be taught NOT to rape. They have to be taught TO rape. And our culture teaches them this every day in a million ways subtle and not so subtle.

    Not only that, we've been teaching girls to feel vulnerable and afraid of men for millenia, and it hasn't reduced sexual violence.
    It makes sense to do what is effective, not what isn't.

    You cannot teach a woman how not to be raped (fuck me, the things I find myself having to say on this fucking forum). Being raped is a passive condition. It is something that happens to you, not something you do. There is almost nothing a woman can do to protect herself from a determined assailant. There is very little a man can do either, when relative strength or numbers are against him. Look at the Delhi gang-rape, for example. What could this woman have done to protect herself from assault? And let's not forget that most girls/women are assaulted in their own homes by people they know.

    Risk factors for date rape include: "the man's initiating the date, paying all the expenses, and driving; miscommunication about sex; heavy alcohol or drug use; "parking"; and men's acceptance of traditional sex roles, interpersonal violence, adversarial attitudes about relationships, and rape myths. "

    Looks like being mostly a problem for men's thinking then, so that's where we should be trying to fix it.

    Finally, it's morally unjustifiable and psychologically demoralising to make women responsible for men's sexuality.

    This widespread cultural message could not be clearer: Men’s sexual urges are uncontrollable and therefore not their responsibility. It’s a fairly insulting view of male morality and sexuality, but it’s also one that allows the culture to put the blame for men’s bad (and criminal) behavior on women’s shoulders.

    But making women responsible for men’s sexuality isn’t just about excusing rape and sexual harassment. It’s a cultural rule that enforces the idea that this is a man’s world—women just live in it.

    When Stuyvesant says that women’s dress and bodies are distraction in a learning environment, for example, what they’re really saying is that they’re distracting to male students. The default student we are concerned about—the student whose learning we want to ensure is protected—is male. Never mind how “distracting” it is to be pulled from class, humiliated, and made to change outfits—publicly degrading young women is small price to pay to make sure that a boy doesn’t have to suffer through the momentary distraction of glancing at a girl’s legs. When this dentist in Iowa can fire his assistant for turning him on—even though she’s done absolutely nothing wrong—the message again is that it’s men’s ability to work that’s important.

    And when rape victims are blamed for the crime committed against them, the message is the same: This is something that happened to the perpetrator, who was driven to assault by a skirt, or a date, or the oh-so-sexy invitation of being passed out drunk. Women have infringed on their right to exist without being turned on. (Ta-Nehisi Coates describes this centering of male sexual vulnerability quite well.) Our very presence is a disruption of the male status quo.

    There’s a lot of work to be done to dismantle rape culture—but a simple first step is to stop focusing on making the world more comfortable for men, and instead make it safer for women.

  10. #540
    A Mystery Jacques Le Paul's Avatar
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    @Salomé

    I see that my phrasing of that question was quite open to interpretation. I of course did not mean it, as you had taken it.

    As I assert, you can teach both genders to not rape and to not be raped.

    Of course not that in the literal sense, but you can educate them on warning signs, rules of thumb, and the like of potential rape. It's the best that can be done, it's better then teaching them nothing right? I know I for one, would not want to be left clueless about something as serious as this.

    To address the other half of the misinterpretation, essentially I assert that all humans have the potential to rape at one point or another. Not because of culture, but because of instinct going off the deep end. As I'd imagine sex as been around forever for humans, thus it would probably make sense that rape has forever as well. Please keep in mind, I'm not saying rape is okay or acceptable at all. I'm merely building up to a point that, a culture that "teaches" rape. Is not one that teaches rape itself, but it fails to teach not to rape.

    Essentially, can you expect someone to learn to drive a car on their own quickly? Probably not everyone, as many would probably have a few close calls and disaster could always happen.

    When you learn that rape is NOT okay, and that you should NEVER rape. It falls upon the individual themselves to not rape.




    I'm not responding to anything else in what you directed at me, on the grounds that it's not relevant to me addressing a grave error in the phrasing of that question I had asked.

    I'll leave it at, you're entitled to your opinion and your thoughts on something. As everybody on this planet is entitled to their opinion and their thoughts on a topic.

    I kindly ask however, that you provide me a link to where you gained that quote from.
    Always forward, never back!

    "I always love talking to people and hearing their story. People always have a good life story to tell ya know?"



    My blog in regular blogs

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