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  1. #401
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    I haven't been reading this thread, beyond the OP and the title, but here I go anyway:

    Everyday sexist stuff at work in the past year:

    -I am unsure of myself at work and a woman saw me and advised me to "Stop being such a woman and make a decision".

    -A lady asked me not to gift wrap her book, because she wanted a girl to do it (I work with children's books). Mind you, I hate wrapping, but still!

    -My coworkers and I were talking about parenting and I said: I know it's unlikely to be a financial possibility, but I think it'd be cool to be a stay-at-home dad, at least for a while. And people thought I was kidding around and some of them teased me. When they saw I was sincere they backed off for the most part though, so it wasn't that bad.-

    -An older guy at work has been touching me inappropriately (he is always finding excuses to touch me, and has spanked me more than once), but he's normally so nice and helpful and we get along so well. Eventually I said: please don't, that's sexual harassment, and then he announced: it's not sexual harassment if you're into it. And everyone at work had a good laugh. I admit, it is kind of funny, but there are limits.

    I'm glad I don't have to live in fear and all (no one tried to rape me, or abuse me), but I do think it's interesting to look at the small little things men run into. A lot of it's my fault for not setting clear boundaries and not asserting myself.

    Most of the sexism I encounter is prejudice against femininity: That is a typically feminine attitude. Why would a man want that? You must be inherently defective/weak/undesirable. It's pretty mild though, I'm sure they're not trying to be hurtful.

    Strangely, my coworkers are 95% female, and all of the management is female too. Even our CEO is female. Come to think of it, I've never had a male boss. Mind you, I have only had 3 jobs. You would think they wouldn't disapprove of femininity so much, since a lot of them are quite feminine, it's like this subtle built-in disrespect for the female gender role.

    It's like even when the sexism is directed at a man, it's really sexist against women (not that female=femininity, but you get what I'm saying).

  2. #402
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    This song on the radio is vaguely sexist in sections and more outright in others.



    When you see a deer you see Bambi
    And I see antlers up on the wall
    When you see a lake you think picnics
    And I see a large mouth up under that log
    You're probably thinking that you're gonna change me
    In some ways well maybe you might
    Scrub me down, dress me up aww but no matter what
    Remember, I'm still a guy

    When you see a priceless French painting
    I see a drunk, naked girl
    You think that ridin' a wild bull sounds crazy
    And I'd like to give it a whirl
    Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
    And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
    But remember, I'm still a guy

    And I'll pour out my heart
    Hold your hand in the car
    Write a love song that makes you cry
    Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
    'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

    I can hear you now talkin' to your friends
    Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
    From draggin' his knuckles and carryin' a club

    And buildin' a fire in a cave
    But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
    Then you swat my hand when I try
    Well now, what can I say at the end of the day
    Honey, I'm still a guy

    And I'll pour out my heart
    Hold your hand in the car
    Write a love song that makes you cry
    Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
    'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

    These days there's dudes gettin' facials
    Manicured, waxed and botoxed
    With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
    You can't grip a tacklebox

    Yeah with all of these men linin' up to get neutered
    It's hip now to be feminized
    I don't highlight my hair
    I've still got a pair
    Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

    Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
    There's a gun in my truck
    Oh thank God, I'm still a guy





    This is something I've said before, I noticed he used the exact word I've warned about. Neutered. I think that if you're going to try to confront men about sexism it's really important to give them the impression that nobody is trying to neuter them (or they'll just ignore you) - you can still be sexually virile, confident, assertive, tough, all that good stuff you want to hold on to and celebrate even without flying off the handle, having a gun in your truck*, copping a feel on your own girlfriend when she says "only a backrub"** (an offense you might punch some other guy for), or being an uncultured jackass. Or assuming that some of this stuff is for men only.

    *Personally not against guns or hunting or fishing but in some circles it does take on a BS manly connotation. In other ways though, I think men are possibly more inclined toward hunting due to biology.
    **You could give benefit of doubt to a certain playfulness that's acceptable IMO in relationships that differs from a more aggressive way of doing this.



    Also I find it amusing because judging by the album cover it's quite likely he's gets professionally "cleaned up", plucked, shaved, etc. Good thing he has a gun and a truck (and the gun in his truck) otherwise his penis might actually disappear.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  3. #403
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    Most of the sexism I encounter is prejudice against femininity: That is a typically feminine attitude. Why would a man want that? You must be inherently defective/weak/undesirable. It's pretty mild though, I'm sure they're not trying to be hurtful.

    It's like even when the sexism is directed at a man, it's really sexist against women (not that female=femininity, but you get what I'm saying).
    This is one of the more insightful observations on this thread. It's often considered negative to behave "like a woman", whether you are one or not.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #404
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    I'm glad I don't have to live in fear and all (no one tried to rape me, or abuse me), but I do think it's interesting to look at the small little things men run into. A lot of it's my fault for not setting clear boundaries and not asserting myself.
    It's not your fault. Other people's inappropriate and abusive behavior cannot be your fault. It's not rocket science not to touch people inappropriately, especially in a professional setting. Or it shouldn't be. Nobody should have to tolerate that. Ever.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #405
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    This is one of the more insightful observations on this thread. It's often considered negative to behave "like a woman", whether you are one or not.
    I've been saying this for years.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  6. #406

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    A "gem" of sexism in my own backyard:
    http://www.meetup.com/Alpha-Male-Academy/

    Well, the intro at least. The rest of it doesn't seem so bad.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
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  7. #407
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    A "gem" of sexism in my own backyard:
    http://www.meetup.com/Alpha-Male-Academy/

    Well, the intro at least. The rest of it doesn't seem so bad.
    Agreed. The two lists there look like good advice for anyone.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #408
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    This is something I've said before, I noticed he used the exact word I've warned about. Neutered. I think that if you're going to try to confront men about sexism it's really important to give them the impression that nobody is trying to neuter them (or they'll just ignore you)
    Not all men are insecure assholes.
    As for the kind who are? It's not "really important" to give them what they want, IMO.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #409
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #410
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    -My coworkers and I were talking about parenting and I said: I know it's unlikely to be a financial possibility, but I think it'd be cool to be a stay-at-home dad, at least for a while. And people thought I was kidding around and some of them teased me. When they saw I was sincere they backed off for the most part though, so it wasn't that bad.-
    I wish more dudes wanted this.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

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