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  1. #81
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Yeah, that sucks. That's what fathers, brothers, and uncles are for. There can't be cameras everywhere.


    I don't disagree but some things are hard to quantify and there is at least some hope that chronological age will have had a chance to have wised people up.


    Yeah, I mean, even when I was a teenager in the eighties, I knew people my age that were having sex, and I did have crushes, but hanging out with my friends was my main focus. Sex adds a whole level of drama that is better not to have to deal with if it can be helped.


    LOL. Holy unintended consequences, Batman!
    True dat.

    I was so glad that my life was more like the breakfast club and less like American Pie.

    Unintended consequences indeed, I know of at least one woman emblazened on my unconscious who has led to my seeking out, unconsciously, similar women. The legacies, the legacies. Why can no one foresee them?

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Oh HAIL no. That's what I meant, really- it seems so odd to me that the brain isn't done cooking until 25ish because I feel like I was a dumbass at 15, but pretty much set by about 20ish. I don't know specifically what the development is that happens between 18/20 and 25ish- I have a vague recollection that it has to do with judgment and foreseeing consequences.

    Edit: Lark, I hadn't read ahead to see your post when I wrote this.
    Among the better parts of the population there is phase known as "Leaving liberalism the hell behind" and it can involve burning your radical party cards and thinking for yourself.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I think we been over how little of an understand you've got of me before Marm, this is yet another good illustration of the point. I'm betting you took the totally wrong meaning out what I posted yet again in the post about university and regrets but perhaps the passage of years doesnt have the same pluses for just everyone.

    I do consider myself blessed.
    You said you basically wanted to live some of your life over in huge black letters. I just can't fathom having that lack of perspective. Even if I found out I had AIDS tomorrow, I wouldn't say something like that.

    I'm glad you realize you're blessed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    True dat.

    I was so glad that my life was more like the breakfast club and less like American Pie.

    Unintended consequences indeed, I know of at least one woman emblazened on my unconscious who has led to my seeking out, unconsciously, similar women. The legacies, the legacies. Why can no one foresee them?
    You must be much older than me then. Silly me, I swear I thought you said you were in your early or mid 30s one time and I was shocked at how young you were...but apparently you are in your 40s if you were a teenager in the 80s.

  4. #84
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Unintended consequences indeed, I know of at least one woman emblazened on my unconscious who has led to my seeking out, unconsciously, similar women. The legacies, the legacies. Why can no one foresee them?
    Hmmm. I'm not sure the imprinting thing is responsible or that not having sex prevents it. I didn't have sex with my first bf, but like my husband (my second bf), he had brown hair, blue eyes, lazy eye, and was just starting to be a little overweight. I think they are about the same height, even. Thankfully it was only a physical resemblance.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Hmmm. I'm not sure the imprinting thing is responsible or that not having sex prevents it. I didn't have sex with my first bf, but like my husband (my second bf), he had brown hair, blue eyes, lazy eye, and was just starting to be a little overweight. I think they are about the same height, even. Thankfully it was only a physical resemblance.
    I'm sure there's similar biochemistry involved in any imprinting process, the reactions and emotional flooding may not all be caused by intimate relating.

  6. #86
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I'm sure there's similar biochemistry involved in any imprinting process, the reactions and emotional flooding may not all be caused by intimate relating.
    Yeah. With me, I just like guys that look (and feel) like that. Probably goes a lot farther back for me than my first dating experiences. I'm sure Freud would have opinions.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #87
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    Jung certainly would, that actually sounds like Si. ^^

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Yeah. With me, I just like guys that look (and feel) like that. Probably goes a lot farther back for me than my first dating experiences. I'm sure Freud would have opinions.
    We're bound to imprint on a lot of people, including parents, attachment theory was a long time coming out of the psychoanalysis which Freud created but it did eventually.

  9. #89
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moniker View Post
    It seems you are suggesting that minors should not be having sex at all, not just with adults because of their inability to comprehend the consequences. I would argue there are just as many adults who don't understand these consequences, whatever those may be. Are adults more inclined than minors to use people just for sex? What consequences, in particular, are you referring to?

    Pregnancy, stds, emotional consequences of intimate relations that may or may not be long term.

    Sure some adults can't handle those either but at least they have the advantage of a fully developed brain. And yes I feel like it's easier for those with the developed brains to exploit teens.

  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Unintended consequences indeed, I know of at least one woman emblazened on my unconscious who has led to my seeking out, unconsciously, similar women. The legacies, the legacies. Why can no one foresee them?
    can you expand a bit more on what you mean by that?


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