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  1. #71
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Yep. For a lot of people, maybe even most people, sex is emotionally a big deal, especially when you're at an age when everything is a big deal, including the pimple on your forehead you are *sure* is bigger than Mt. Everest.

    And not everybody is doing it. Statistically, it's more like a third to half of high school students that are sexually active.

    In the news story, I suspect if the older girl had been mature enough to wait until the younger girl was sixteen, the parents wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. As it was, all they had to do was wait for her to turn eighteen and then nail her ass to the wall. I don't think the maximum sentence fits the crime, but she walked right into it.
    I agree with what you say, to a certain point, I know of some major assholes who're nineteen and twenty years of age who are targetting children in and around the age of majority, usually waiting until the night of their eighteenth birthday here and then consumating their seductions, they are play very unpleasant games with the authorities and parents and using impressionable and often vulnerable youngsters in the process. The fuckers wont put a foot wrong legally. I actually hate them for the pain and suffering they're causing.

    Consequently I dont believe it was or should just be a matter of "bide your time", "wait out the years" but I do think there is a certain point, if they had waited that long and the relationship had endured then there is less of an argument, a certain sort of maturation has taken place.

    I think you're characterisation of those years, the vulnerability and the fact that everything is so, so, so significant in a way which the passage of years really and truly does change should be something which people are giving more consideration to and are not. It was a difficult enough time in life going through all that without half of the sexualisation and ramped up expectations of experimentation etc. that there are today. I'm actually glad that deciding what bands I liked was as important to me as what it was and I wasnt already obsessing what what girls I wanted to get alongside when I was in my late teenage years, let alone younger.

    So far as sex being a big deal, it is, the sorts of imprinting that takes place when the brain is given the bums rush by a combination of biochemical overload and emotional flooding involved in sex is not nothing, its not something which gets discussed in sex ed either, hey, if your desperation to not be the last person who is sexually active drives you to shagging some one you'd spur sober, to put it mildly, dont be surprised if all your life you're unwittingly and unconsciously attracted to people who look the same way.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Having a senior interested in you when you are a freshman or sophomore is kind of a big deal. It's a status thing or it was when I was in school. It contributes to making the younger person easy pickings and gives the older person an unfair advantage.
    I've encountered that, at least something similar, we dont have the senior and junior divisions quite the same.

    Although when I was at uni in Dublin, which put me in my early to mid twenties, I discovered that a lot of the nineteen or twenty year old female population on campus were just positively charmed by my attention, I thank God for my conscience or I'd have been an even greater insult to morality otherwise.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moniker View Post
    Let's be clear that we're not talking about pedophilia here. We're talking about two teenagers who are three years apart having consensual sex, both of whom are not sexually immature. If girls hit puberty around 11, then the younger one has been sexually maturing for 4 years. I don't think a senior in high school is a social retard for having peers that are freshmen or sophomores, nor does it make them a dickhead if they are dating one. Just my opinion.



    Fair enough. But some would argue, probably Lark, that college is for studying and students shouldn't be having sex there either.



    I stand corrected.
    You can stand corrected on your first paragraph too.

    And college, properly so called university, is for study and not messing around. If I could go back to uni now I'd do so much studying.

    If I had life to live over again OH For FUCKS SAKE

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    You can stand corrected on your first paragraph too.

    And college, properly so called university, is for study and not messing around. If I could go back to uni now I'd do so much studying.

    If I had life to live over again OH For FUCKS SAKE
    I'm glad I don't live with your sense of regret.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    I'm glad I don't live with your sense of regret.
    You will.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    You will.
    Lark I'm about the same age as you, maybe a few years younger. I just have a completely different world view, I've lived a rich and varied life, and feel that I still have a future ahead of me.

    I'd only feel the way that you do if I'd had a heroin addiction or had a kid when I didn't want one.

  7. #77
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    For the record, I'm not even disagreeing that teenagers shouldn't be having sex. It can create a lot of problems in a young person's life. I'm just saying, there are plenty of adults who don't comprehend these consequences either. Bad choices aren't strictly the domain of minors.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Having a senior interested in you when you are a freshman or sophomore is kind of a big deal. It's a status thing or it was when I was in school. It contributes to making the younger person easy pickings and gives the older person an unfair advantage.
    I remember that when I was in high school too. It pissed freshmen boys off because it was mostly cute girls throwing themselves at seniors.

  8. #78
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Lark I'm about the same age as you, maybe a few years younger. I just have a completely different world view, I've lived a rich and varied life, and feel that I still have a future ahead of me.

    I'd only feel the way that you do if I'd had a heroin addiction or had a kid when I didn't want one.
    I think we been over how little of an understand you've got of me before Marm, this is yet another good illustration of the point. I'm betting you took the totally wrong meaning out what I posted yet again in the post about university and regrets but perhaps the passage of years doesnt have the same pluses for just everyone.

    I do consider myself blessed.

  9. #79
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I agree with what you say, to a certain point, I know of some major assholes who're nineteen and twenty years of age who are targetting children in and around the age of majority, usually waiting until the night of their eighteenth birthday here and then consumating their seductions, they are play very unpleasant games with the authorities and parents and using impressionable and often vulnerable youngsters in the process. The fuckers wont put a foot wrong legally. I actually hate them for the pain and suffering they're causing.
    Yeah, that sucks. That's what fathers, brothers, and uncles are for. There can't be cameras everywhere.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Consequently I dont believe it was or should just be a matter of "bide your time", "wait out the years" but I do think there is a certain point, if they had waited that long and the relationship had endured then there is less of an argument, a certain sort of maturation has taken place.
    I don't disagree but some things are hard to quantify and there is at least some hope that chronological age will have had a chance to have wised people up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I think you're characterisation of those years, the vulnerability and the fact that everything is so, so, so significant in a way which the passage of years really and truly does change should be something which people are giving more consideration to and are not. It was a difficult enough time in life going through all that without half of the sexualisation and ramped up expectations of experimentation etc. that there are today. I'm actually glad that deciding what bands I liked was as important to me as what it was and I wasnt already obsessing what what girls I wanted to get alongside when I was in my late teenage years, let alone younger.
    Yeah, I mean, even when I was a teenager in the eighties, I knew people my age that were having sex, and I did have crushes, but hanging out with my friends was my main focus. Sex adds a whole level of drama that is better not to have to deal with if it can be helped.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    So far as sex being a big deal, it is, the sorts of imprinting that takes place when the brain is given the bums rush by a combination of biochemical overload and emotional flooding involved in sex is not nothing, its not something which gets discussed in sex ed either, hey, if your desperation to not be the last person who is sexually active drives you to shagging some one you'd spur sober, to put it mildly, dont be surprised if all your life you're unwittingly and unconsciously attracted to people who look the same way.
    LOL. Holy unintended consequences, Batman!
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #80
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digest View Post
    Could you have handled it as well at 15 or 16? Because if you're having sex, you may have to.

    (The Royal "You're/You")
    Oh HAIL no. That's what I meant, really- it seems so odd to me that the brain isn't done cooking until 25ish because I feel like I was a dumbass at 15, but pretty much set by about 20ish. I don't know specifically what the development is that happens between 18/20 and 25ish- I have a vague recollection that it has to do with judgment and foreseeing consequences.

    Edit: Lark, I hadn't read ahead to see your post when I wrote this.

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