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  1. #11
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I'm not 100% sure but I think the law here applies when there is at least a 3 year age difference between the older and the younger, so an 18 and 16 year old together wouldn't be against the law, but a 17 and 14 year old would be. So it's not really a legal on Tuesday/illegal on Wednesday issue. It's meant to avoid exploitive relationships between older and younger teens, and I don't really have a problem with that and feel similarly to cafe. Maybe 4 years would be more reasonable so you don't get these kinds of freshman/senior issues. But even a relatively small age difference is a real developmental issue at this age, IMO. I'll be honest- I don't want 16 year old boys OR GIRLS going after my 13 year old daughter, nor 17 year olds going after her next year when she's 14. Or 18/15. I'm not okay with that.

  2. #12
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Um what. This is insane. I don't think boys should be prosecuted either. I am a fan of the "three year rule" I don't know if its only active in some states, but it means if you've reached the age of consent and your partner is no more than three years older then it's still legal.

    They're both still in high school, amirite?

    I would be like "Oh yeah she's 23 and that girl is only 15." Or "Oh yeah she's 18 and that girl is only 13." Then okay, sure. Prosecute.

    I didn't even know that 18 year olds could get in trouble for being with 15 year olds. Also the part about her being 17 at the beginning of the relationship seems like there's actually less than three years between them.

    Not exactly Lolita.

    People are dumb, I can't believe they'd try to ruin any 18 year olds life over something like this.
    This is a matter of the three year rule you're a fan of. One is 15 and the other 18.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    This is a matter of the three year rule you're a fan of. One is 15 and the other 18.
    ???

    No, there's only three years between them. Actually less, since she was 17 and turned 18.

  4. #14
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'm wrong. Age of consent in Florida is 18 and they charged her with lewd and lascivious battery on a child ages 12-16. I had read earlier that this was a "three year rule" issue but that was not the case, it seems.

    I still don't really see why the uproar over this case because it's two girls, like that makes it different- I'd be willing to bet that 18 year old boys get charged with this much more often than girls.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm not 100% sure but I think the law here applies when there is at least a 3 year age difference between the older and the younger, so an 18 and 16 year old together wouldn't be against the law, but a 17 and 14 year old would be. So it's not really a legal on Tuesday/illegal on Wednesday issue. It's meant to avoid exploitive relationships between older and younger teens, and I don't really have a problem with that and feel similarly to cafe. Maybe 4 years would be more reasonable so you don't get these kinds of freshman/senior issues. But even a relatively small age difference is a real developmental issue at this age, IMO. I'll be honest- I don't want 16 year old boys OR GIRLS going after my 13 year old daughter, nor 17 year olds going after her next year when she's 14. Or 18/15. I'm not okay with that.
    I see what you're saying about developmental issues. I do. I was seeing a 19 year old not long ago and he looks 22 or 23 easily, and has life experience that some 25 year olds don't have, seems to prefer older women (his gf before me was 22, and he was involved with a 27-28 yo at one point, and that's just what I know about) and I can see someone definitely wanting to break his face if he was anywhere near their 16 year old daughter. In fact it seems like a joke to me.

    Hmmm.

    And there's also a pretty big difference between 17 and 19 with boys. Not so much between 15-17 year old girls, not so much.

    People who are parents are definitely viewing this differently, I see this in both your and Cafe's response.

  6. #16
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    At the same time I tend to agree with Elfboy too, to an extent- although I am definitely not okay with 15/18 sexual relationships I also don't know that it should get the same punishment as a much older person with that 15 year old and/or robbing a gas station. But kids definitely need to be aware of how the law affects their relationships and what can happen to them if the other person's parents are against it.

  7. #17
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    People who are parents are definitely viewing this differently, I see this in both your and Cafe's response.
    Yep. And we're the ones who press or do not press charges in cases like this generally, which is why I would warn my kids not to do it. Some parents feel differently: my M-I-L let my S-I-L get married at 16 to the guy who, at 19, was climbing into her bedroom window when she was 14. They've been married for 16 years now. Doesn't appear to be the happiest marriage ever, but

    I would certainly warn the older kid to back off or expect to have charges filed, but if s/he persisted, the charges would be filed.

    Edit: And of course I'm going to feel that way. I'm the one that is reminding my sixteen year old to bathe and my eighteen year old that if she doesn't go to bed soon she's not going to hear her alarm clock in the morning.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #18
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I'm just trying to think of how loud the outcry would be if, instead of a pretty blonde girl, the 18 year old was a black boy. I doubt any of us would have heard of it.

  9. #19
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Out of curiosity I looked up my state's consent laws which have graduated punishments for people between 3 and 6 years older than the minor:

    The North Carolina legal Age of Consent for sexual contact is 16 years old. A total of thirty one states have set their age of consent at 16, the lowest age of consent in any state.

    Any sexual intercourse with a person under 16 years of age is prohibited, with a close-in-age exemption if the defendant is less than 3 years older than the victim. Defendants between three and six years older then the person are guilty of a reduced charge (class C felony), and older perpetrators are charged with a class B1 felony.
    That's not the kind of law this girl was charged under, though- presumably because they can't have intercourse, I guess? She was charged under the lewd and lascivious behavior with a child law in FL. The lewd and lascivious law here in NC requires a 5 year age difference. So this girl would not have been breaking any law if they lived in NC rather than FL.

    A person is guilty of taking indecent liberties with a child if, being 16 years of age or more and at least five years older than the child in question, he/she either: (1) willfully takes or attempts to take any immoral, improper, or indecent liberties with any child of either sex under the age of 16 years for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire, or (2) willfully commits or attempts to commit any lewd or lascivious act upon or with the body or any part or member of the body of any child of either sex under the age of 16 years.

  10. #20
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm not 100% sure but I think the law here applies when there is at least a 3 year age difference between the older and the younger, so an 18 and 16 year old together wouldn't be against the law, but a 17 and 14 year old would be. So it's not really a legal on Tuesday/illegal on Wednesday issue. It's meant to avoid exploitive relationships between older and younger teens, and I don't really have a problem with that and feel similarly to cafe. Maybe 4 years would be more reasonable so you don't get these kinds of freshman/senior issues. But even a relatively small age difference is a real developmental issue at this age, IMO. I'll be honest- I don't want 16 year old boys OR GIRLS going after my 13 year old daughter, nor 17 year olds going after her next year when she's 14. Or 18/15. I'm not okay with that.
    Well, I had the same issue -- remember when a 17 year old was interested in my 13 year old, and even though I liked him as a person, I was not into that at all and we weren't permitting it.

    I really don't know the specifics of the relationship. Were the parents really "okay" with the relationship and then changed? Or were they fighting with the 15 year old about it the whole time? Or was the 17 turned 18 year old told to bugger off, and she refused, so they pushed to charge her? It just seems like it could have been handled in so many other ways besides the way it was handled, at least from the outside... and maybe if I knew the total story, it would look more reasonable. The only real difference with same sex vs het is pregnancy issues, but there are other issues developmentally as you've noted.

    Other comment, about the black boy: Oy vey, sigh...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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