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  1. #151
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Another slightly unrelated thought on the subject: do people really tell kids that it is not acceptable to date people who are more than 3 years younger than you in highschool? If people make it a very big deal (with a good explanation for them as well), then maybe older kids will start to automatically eliminate the younger ones from their dating pool.
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  2. #152
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Another slightly unrelated thought on the subject: do people really tell kids that it is not acceptable to date people who are more than 3 years younger than you in highschool? If people make it a very big deal (with a good explanation for them as well), then maybe older kids will start to automatically eliminate the younger ones from their dating pool.
    It kind of is a big deal.. at least as big of a deal as a "everyone is right in their own cultural ways" snowflake approach the US has. I think it is a bigger deal once you turn 20. Like, after 20 guys really seem to start to hear the 'Don't rob the cradle!' lines. Expounded by the drinking age hitting a year later. But as far as parents sitting down and explaining law to their kids? That probably ought to happen a LOT more than it really does.
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  3. #153
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    It kind of is a big deal.. at least as big of a deal as a "everyone is right in their own cultural ways" snowflake approach the US has. I think it is a bigger deal once you turn 20. Like, after 20 guys really seem to start to hear the 'Don't rob the cradle!' lines. Expounded by the drinking age hitting a year later. But as far as parents sitting down and explaining law to their kids? That probably ought to happen a LOT more than it really does.
    I hate being cynical, but I don't even think many parents sit down and talk to their kids about sex, let alone the law.

    (For the record, I mentioned this case to my 18 year old last week and said I know he's not physically involved with someone right now -- he's not -- but "here's what is going on and you need to be aware of this, so that you don't inadverently end up in a mess...")
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  4. #154
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Theoretically, I wish the same. What I mean is--no one has bothered to actively change the law for these boys. So, even though I personally care, I still hope the law continues to function without a bias for gender. Either it is good enough for girls and boys to be charged, or we realize there is a flaw and fix the core of the problem and not adjust it to suit our emotional needs.
    Since this has been going on for years and years without anyone *really* desiring a fix besides the mothers of sons fallen to this law, I am saying that I do hope the girl gets charged. Sometimes people need a wake up call, and on top of that the girl turned down a sentence that was perfectly acceptable considering males do not typically get off so easily.

    Does it suck to tell someone "Hey, I know you care about this person, but now it's illegal to engage in sexual activity with them."? Yes. Should that be a dealbreaker for a relationship? No. But both sides need to be mature enough to know the potential consequences of their actions and how much influence parents have in the lives of minors. It is a lot. And while America has not always had strict definitions in terms of what constitutes children and adults, we're trying to change that for the safety of children.

    (Completely unrelated, I was watching a news broadcast where a girl was suspended even though she had straight A's because she missed too many days of school because she needed to work to help her parents survive. The child labor laws are there to protect her, and her family is angry that they're being put to use whether the girl has good grades or not.)
    I do not think your narration of the girl who was suspended is completely unrelated to the main theme here. If it were, you would not have told it in the first place. In these both cases we see a want of common sense and moderation. I see in both cases a hypocritical moralist stand, and a mistaken view that the world is black and white. The world is grey, we all make mistakes. Tolerance and compassion is gone.

  5. #155
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GinKuusouka View Post
    I agree Wildcat. From what I read up on, the parents of the younger girl never asked the 18-year-old to stop seeing their daughter. Which, to me, would have been the more mature way to handle the situation. Instead, they waited until the older girl was no longer a minor and brought charges against her. That, to me, is heartless. Not only against the 18-year-old, but against their own daughter as well. Telling her that they don't trust the decisions that she's made. In this case, what harm was truly being caused? Their relationship was consensual. And, if the parents didn't like it, why not respectfully ask the older girl to stop seeing their daughter instead of resorting to this?
    Exactly, GinKuusouka. Thank you.

  6. #156
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I hate being cynical, but I don't even think many parents sit down and talk to their kids about sex, let alone the law.

    (For the record, I mentioned this case to my 18 year old last week and said I know he's not physically involved with someone right now -- he's not -- but "here's what is going on and you need to be aware of this, so that you don't inadverently end up in a mess...")
    That's not being cynical (sadly.. that sounds cynical in and of itself.. :/ ) that's just really the reality of things now.

    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    I do not think your narration of the girl who was suspended is completely unrelated to the main theme here. If it were, you would not have told it in the first place. In these both cases we see a want of common sense and moderation. I see in both cases a hypocritical moralist stand, and a mistaken view that the world is black and white. The world is grey, we all make mistakes. Tolerance and compassion is gone.
    There is nothing that you said here that is wrong. Tolerance and compassion are both as dead as chivalry and honor. No one *really* cares now a days. We live in a place where we *know* for a fact that Haitian children are eating mud for their meals. No one cares.

    All I am saying is, I hate it when people act like they really care when it comes to attempting to be politically correct while having blatant double standards at the exact same time. Don't spit on my face and then tell me I should be more tolerant of different ways to say hello. The girl should be charged, or the courts should decide to take this all the way up and fix the laws for good so that parents of the young adults can still protect their children without sacrificing the necessary protection for young teenagers facing an overly sexualized world.
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  7. #157
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    That's not being cynical (sadly.. that sounds cynical in and of itself.. :/ ) that's just really the reality of things now.



    There is nothing that you said here that is wrong. Tolerance and compassion are both as dead as chivalry and honor. No one *really* cares now a days. We live in a place where we *know* for a fact that Haitian children are eating mud for their meals. No one cares.

    All I am saying is, I hate it when people act like they really care when it comes to attempting to be politically correct while having blatant double standards at the exact same time. Don't spit on my face and then tell me I should be more tolerant of different ways to say hello. The girl should be charged, or the courts should decide to take this all the way up and fix the laws for good so that parents of the young adults can still protect their children without sacrificing the necessary protection for young teenagers facing an overly sexualized world.
    I say, the girl should not be charged. Did I spit on your face when I expressed my honest opinion? Whatever happened to the freedom of speech? Teen-agers are the victims of an overly sexualized world. Not the culprits.

  8. #158
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    I say, the girl should not be charged. Did I spit on your face when I expressed my honest opinion? Whatever happened to the freedom of speech? Teen-agers are the victims of an overly sexualized world. Not the culprits.
    Err... I'm not saying you spit on my face.. there's a generalized 'you' in English that refers to society and not one person in particular.. I don't think the law will change because of this incident. I just don't think anyone cares enough to change the law. They (the general public) quite like it where it is as far as I can tell. I keep saying 'the girl should be charged' but what I mean is 'I hope they don't give her gender any thought when they sentence her' as was my position posted in the OP. The girl will be charged in some way. It is the current law. The courts tried to take an easy route and the girl turned it down. She's going to end up charged in some way, shape, or form. I just hope it isn't too harsh because of her same sex situation.. or too ridiculous just because she is a (fairly attractive) woman.
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  9. #159
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Err... I'm not saying you spit on my face.. there's a generalized 'you' in English that refers to society and not one person in particular.. I don't think the law will change because of this incident. I just don't think anyone cares enough to change the law. They (the general public) quite like it where it is as far as I can tell. I keep saying 'the girl should be charged' but what I mean is 'I hope they don't give her gender any thought when they sentence her' as was my position posted in the OP. The girl will be charged in some way. It is the current law. The courts tried to take an easy route and the girl turned it down. She's going to end up charged in some way, shape, or form. I just hope it isn't too harsh because of her same sex situation.. or too ridiculous just because she is a (fairly attractive) woman.
    Let us hope for the best. And thanks for the correction! We poor foreigners sometimes get confused with the vicissitudes of the English language.

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