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  1. #21
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    From middle school through high school, I attended a prep school that catered predominantly to the white, old money, high society set in my city. For the first semester that I was a student at that school, no one spoke to me. When my peers did refer to me, it was as "The 'Fro", because no one could be bothered to learn my name. It was hell.

    Somewhere during the second semester, under circumstances I can't entirely recall and reasons I don't wholly remember, this ITJ guy in my year just out of nowhere decides to befriend me. Looking back, the balls on this guy as a middle schooler to go so completely and thoroughly against the grain for anyone, much less a girl, is just extraordinary. But he did. He sat with me at lunch, invited me out with his friends and family, chatted with me on AIM while we worked on homework. He was a friend to me when I didn't have one, and 16 years later I still consider him my best friend. Brother would probably be more accurate, really.

    Frankly, this article can kiss my ass.
    I had a similar experience. When I was a dorkus maximus, the cool guy who was already a model befriended me. Granted, we met in theater camp and he didnt go to my school. We were platonic, but he came to my school dances with me and made sure I could always call him if I had trouble. 25 years later he's living at my house part of each week and we are still best friends! He is also a brother to me and I'm a sister to him.
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  2. #22
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    "If children are stopped from getting these negative experiences, they will end up being emotionally stunted - they need to learn to cope with being snubbed and other normal emotional experiences," says Dennis Hayes, professor of education at the University of Derby.
    the fact that this actually has to be pointed out is ridiculous.

    (I feel kind of the same way about the more extreme anti-bullying efforts. in reality, kids aren't going to like each other -- it seems more damaging to leave these feelings unexpressed and create an atmosphere of false unity than to let them run their course.)

  3. #23
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    This is just BS, lol. I had one in elementary school because I walked home with him every day. If I didn't move, I'd be visiting and going to his house from middle school onwards. That said, I may not have a so-called best friend growing up after, but one would of made a whole lot of difference during childhood, and especially, middle school and high school.

    It is a form of deep kinship, and many kids need it, especially during middle school and high school when a lot of BS goes on.

    But that is just my personal experience.

  4. #24
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  5. #25
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I have a million best friends and I stole them from all the children and now they're all going to be losers when they grow up.
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  6. #26

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    I dont see how you could prevent best friendships even if you tried, wouldnt it just make it more likely because it was forbidden?

    What about frienemies? I just heard about this phenomenon lately, seems worse.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Oh god, his speech impediment/lisp is terrible.. no wonder he thinks love is evil.
    Not to mention the fact that he's a crackpot.

  8. #28
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Hey, devil's advocate- bearing in mind I have absolutely no problem with besties and had very rewarding experiences with my own series of BFFs as a young'un-

    Best friends can be great, but they can also be limiting. Kids can sometimes get into kind of a "tunnel vision" type situation where they only want to play with that one person. And that can be especially difficult to navigate if one of the pair wants to be only with the other, but the other wants to interact with more people and feels possessed in some ways by the other. (My daughter had an experience like that in the 5th grade, where two girls called her their "best friend" and she liked them both pretty much equally, but they hated each other and constantly fought over her.)

    I really do not think it's bad to encourage kids to have a variety of different connections of various strengths with different people. In cases where they are being actively shunned by the group, that's not that kid's fault. @Wind-Up Rex, I'm sure you would have been glad to have more friends besides your awesome brave BFF, if the other kids hadn't been total assholes, right?

  9. #29
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Hey, devil's advocate- bearing in mind I have absolutely no problem with besties and had very rewarding experiences with my own series of BFFs as a young'un-

    Best friends can be great, but they can also be limiting. Kids can sometimes get into kind of a "tunnel vision" type situation where they only want to play with that one person. And that can be especially difficult to navigate if one of the pair wants to be only with the other, but the other wants to interact with more people and feels possessed in some ways by the other. (My daughter had an experience like that in the 5th grade, where two girls called her their "best friend" and she liked them both pretty much equally, but they hated each other and constantly fought over her.)

    I really do not think it's bad to encourage kids to have a variety of different connections of various strengths with different people. In cases where they are being actively shunned by the group, that's not that kid's fault. @Wind-Up Rex, I'm sure you would have been glad to have more friends besides your awesome brave BFF, if the other kids hadn't been total assholes, right?

  10. #30
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I actually laughed when I read the article.

    We should discourage mean, 'clique-y' behavior, but to suggest that children should not have best friends is just ridiculous.
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