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  1. #141
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    If she's cared for, and they let her know it, I firmly believe she'll be fine. Much ado about nothing. The only worry, if I could even call it that, passing concern, maybe, I had was that if she did have a problem, it would most likely stem from them and their underlying negative thoughts/feelings being picked up by her. But, it could very well end up changing her views (the adult woman). It happens. The heart does crazy things to the mind.
    Yep. I feel like I did this a little bit with my grandpa. He was technically my step-grandpa. He was half-Native American and raised by his Native American mother, but always considered himself a Southern gentleman. He was a member of a very conservative Pentecostal sect and I suspect if you'd asked him how he would feel about my wild mother's little white bastard baby before I was born, he wouldn't have had any use for me.

    He never saw me coming and he didn't know what hit him, but he adored me from the first time he held me. He was one of the best assets I've ever had: he taught me that men should treat me with respect (at the very least) simply by the way he treated me. A lot of little girls from my socio-eco and family backgrounds don't have that, so I consider myself lucky, even if he never changed any of his prejudices.

    Family and loyalties are tricky things. And so are prejudices. My mom is rabidly Zionist and is scared to death of Sharia Law taking over, but she would bend over backwards to help a Muslim family in need if they crossed her path and she had the means to do it.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #142
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Lots of groups, not just whites, use hair care products that don't require the same care as black people's hair. It's a fact that a ton of people only suffer from split ends and balding where they need hair care products that are specifically designed for that type. But, I get what you're saying. However, when I call any card in my possession to check a balance, I have to hit a number in order to get English, so things are a'changin'.
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  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    There's not really a "White Culture," but white is the default in our culture. Things that are white are "regular," "normal," and non-white is the "other." In the grocery store you've got a "Hair Care" section and as "Ethnic Hair Care" section. The "Hair Care" section has products for people with normal (white) hair; the "Ethnic Hair Care" section is for the people with non-normal hair (people of color). This is just an example- it's pervasive and applies to things much more important than hair care. This stuff is invisible to most white people until it is pointed out (and even then, many deny it- I predict many here will).
    Do they really use the words non-normal? I highly doubt that. If the consistency of the hair is significantly different to warrant different products to care for it, why wouldn't they separate it? The entire grocery store is divided into sections. This is getting silly now.

  4. #144
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moniker View Post
    I'm still not understanding what this white culture is. Unless it consists of anything that isn't being ascribed to black culture. (If it's not one, it must be the other)? I think it is dangerous to start labeling certain behaviors as racial characteristics for obvious reasons, which is why I have a problem with terms like Black Culture and White Culture. Much of what you said about blacks being friendlier to each other and going to church is also applicable to southern whites. There are many subcultures in the US that are predominantly white, but I think any white person who doesn't identify with a subculture would be offended, or at least confused, if someone associated them with it based on the color of their skin. Speaking of the Amish, why are you excluding them from white culture, since they are mostly white, as well? If anything, it goes to show that associating race with behaviors is a slippery slope and should be avoided.
    What Ivy said.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    What Ivy said.
    Ivy said:

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    cafe can just speak for me in this regard. (And most other regards.)

  6. #146
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Yep. I feel like I did this a little bit with my grandpa. He was technically my step-grandpa. He was half-Native American and raised by his Native American mother, but always considered himself a Southern gentleman. He was a member of a very conservative Pentecostal sect and I suspect if you'd asked him how he would feel about my wild mother's little white bastard baby before I was born, he wouldn't have had any use for me.

    He never saw me coming and he didn't know what hit him, but he adored me from the first time he held me. He was one of the best assets I've ever had: he taught me that men should treat me with respect (at the very least) simply by the way he treated me. A lot of little girls from my socio-eco and family backgrounds don't have that, so I consider myself lucky, even if he never changed any of his prejudices.

    Family and loyalties are tricky things. And so are prejudices. My mom is rabidly Zionist and is scared to death of Sharia Law taking over, but she would bend over backwards to help a Muslim family in need if they crossed her path and she had the means to do it.
    I loved reading that. You hit it exactly. When nothing else COULD change a mind, the heart can still sneak up on it and slap it around soundly.
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  7. #147
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moniker View Post
    Ivy said:
    Lolz. Totally missed that. I love me some Ivy. I won't deny it.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #148
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moniker View Post
    Do they really use the words non-normal? I highly doubt that. If the consistency of the hair is significantly different to warrant different products to care for it, why wouldn't they separate it? The entire grocery store is divided into sections. This is getting silly now.
    I'm not saying there's no reason to separate the products- they're already separated within the sections (dandruff shampoo is here, shampoo for curly hair is there)- but don't people of all ethnicities have hair that requires care, hence "Hair Care"? But really, it was just an example to illustrate the larger point that white is normal and non-white is "other" in our culture. It's not that I care a lot about shampoo.

  9. #149
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    I didn't find the part where he said that there was a homogenous black culture or that these negative behaviors = black culture.
    Then I guess your name "Pseudo" does mean something.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  10. #150
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm not saying there's no reason to separate the products- but don't people of all ethnicities have hair that requires care, hence "Hair Care"? But really, it was just an example to illustrate the larger point that white is normal and non-white is "other" in our culture. It's not that I care a lot about shampoo.
    Ha. Come on, Ivy. You know the sh*t would hit the fan if they separated it by "All other ethnic groups" and "That one ethnic group that requires other stuff". But, as I said before, I see what you mean, and noticed it, but also I notice big changes.
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