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  1. #191
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Your father does seem awesome.

    But how awesome can he be if he allowed your mother to screw you up?


    But, yes, you are right. I should not do that. I didn't do that, except on here, yesterday. I think that is the same as struggling with something within one's own home and psyche and, well, here. Where else, how else, am I supposed to figure things out?
    Well he was Navy man and is a career ship captain so a lot of times things were out of his control. He regrets that and has been trying to make it up to me ever since.

    Also I think it's ok. I've done crazy shit too in the process of learning. As long as we see it we can forgive and move on.

  2. #192
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Well, I understand that. And I also understand that mothers can screw up kids even if men don't want them to. I was the one at home all day while he was at work. I have done all kinds of not-ideal things to my kids in those days; a mother could get away with a lot if she stayed home with the children.

    And if they were young enough, for quite a while I'd guess, because they could be conditioned to not tell. Yes, I could see how a mother could get away with abusing her kids even if the dad wasn't really bad too. Sometimes maybe dad's are even sorta bad themselves, or turn the other way and don't want to see.

    You should check out my dissociative thread. I just made a new post in there and I'd like to know if you've read that. And I'd like to talk more about this with you, if you like.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  3. #193
    Senior Member mcgooglian's Avatar
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    I'm glad I could resolve the issue. My work here is done.

  4. #194
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Well, we could still discuss how men are turning out so badly. What do women (or men) do or not do that makes men either be not present or abusive, which I'd consider the extreme ends of the spectrum.


    I know more about women because I am one. I know that girls could likely end up promiscuous without attention. Is it the same with boys? etc etc etc.


    It's sad to know how screwed up the world is. Kim verbalized what I agree with, that it's getting worse. She says it's because parents are not teaching their kids values today, like they used to. We talked about how it was good for the kids when mom used to stay home and devote her life to them. But she is reticent, as we all are, to say women MUST do that or it is the only ideal....But still, kids needs a lot. Are we giving it to them? Are we giving them what they need? We must not be if we perceive society is going downhill. Do you think it's going downhill to?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  5. #195
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    @_@... I'm fairly sure my head hurts from this thread.
    I really don't see what gender has to do with how good or bad a person is... Certainly not to the point where eliminating the population of one side would benefit. The genders feed off of each other. If logic were applied to anything humans did, we'd be a much different world.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  6. #196
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I am just trying to make sense of this big ol' place. And I'm a slow learner, so that makes it more difficult for me, see. That's why it's funny that I can ponder these things and then one conversation with an ISTP and they're like, "Yeah, everyone sucks, not just men" and I'm like, "Oh, okay." I feel like a real idiot, honestly. It's like I have to reconcile the world to what my brain/mind/experience knows, versus what most others do which is just reconciling their own mind to what they know of the world. Does that make sense?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  7. #197
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I was driving home tonight from dropping off one of my favorite men, my eldest son, at the train station, and I passed by a road called, "Gracie," and it reminded me of the time my ex cheated on me with his old gf when we had just been into our new, loving relationship about 3 months. I mean we had been seeing each other off and on since many months before that, but we had been making love and practically living together for only the last 3 months or so. My mom bought me a ticket to travel to Spain to meet my half-sister and I was gone about six weeks. During that time, it was difficult to talk much to my ex husband (who was still my bf at the time) because I had to make phone calls from a hotel nearby and it cost a fortune. And letters took a while. Turns out he cheated on me at a party and I had suspicions by what he said when I spoke with him on the phone, but he didn't fess up until I got home--the night I got in. It was horrible. It took me many years to get over it and I am surprised that even today I'm still processing it to some degree. Why? I could have totally messed around with many guys in Spain, but didn't because I was in love with him. And I held that sacred. Why didn't he? Why can't love be as sacred for men as it is for women?


    Then I started realizing just how worthless men can be. More so than women. Think about it. Men cause the wars. Men cause the domestic violence. Men perpetrate the sex crimes, and most crime in general. Men are most likely to be child abusers. Men are still more likely to cheat (you know it's true). Men are not as able to take care of children AND work like women can.


    I think we only need about half as many men as women, or even less. Maybe 20%. Women can tribe up and earn money and do most of the work that needs doing. We only need men to contribute, to protect, and to help us make babies.


    I wonder what the world would be like with far fewer men.


    Thoughts?
    How can you possibly hope to have an accurate perception of the world when you can't get some basic facts right?

    http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi...PH.2005.079020

    Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.
    Conclusion: When males get violent they cause more damage, but females are more often the initiators of violence.

    As for males being more violent toward children, I'm skeptical. Do you any evidence to support this claim?
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  8. #198
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Don't like an AGA opinion? Just wait a day or two, it'll change.

  9. #199
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    How can you possibly hope to have an accurate perception of the world when you can't get some basic facts right?

    http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi...PH.2005.079020



    Conclusion: When males get violent they cause more damage, but females are more often the initiators of violence.

    As for males being more violent toward children, I'm skeptical. Do you any evidence to support this claim?

    ^I guess that's why I have you to set me straight. My intuition led me to the right place to figure it out, eh?

    Thanks for the info.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  10. #200
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Don't like an AGA opinion? Just wait a day or two, it'll change.
    Well, to be completely accurate, it's like this.

    I just fully delve into ideas that I'm not sure about. They can be minor (like buying something) or major (like constructs in threads here). I allow myself full reign to explore them, formulate hypotheses, put them on and wear them, ask others about them, etc. If they make it through and 'pass' muster in various forms and fields and time, then they start becoming stuck and become part of my values and belief systems, I guess.

    But anywhere along that path, incoming information can affect my notion. It's a rather directly proportionate relationship, meaning that they more I believe it, the more information I will need to make me abandon it, and the less I believe it or have carried it with me, the less--and more quickly--I can abandon it, see. So it really makes sense if you look at it like this. At least to me.

    But it is very disconcerting, or can be, to those around me. I know it used to irk my ex to no end. I don't know why I do this. I think it's in part because I start inside, then take bits of the world outside and bring them in and see if they all correlate. It sounds fucked. And it may be. Perhaps as I travel along my path of individuation, I will learn how to do it the opposite way, making me more functional and efficient. And less irksome to others bearing witness to this lengthy and emotional (at times) process.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


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