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  1. #181

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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Imagine - we are dependent on our mother for our physical existence and the existence of our psyche.

    But what if our mother is a threat to our physical or psychic existence? This is too much for us to bear, so we repress the knowledge of the threat.

    It was only as an adult that I dared to seriously disobey my mother, and she told me, if I continued, I couldn't come home.

    So it was only as an independent adult that I could confront the psychological threat my mother held over me.

    And by bringing this threat into consciousness as an independent adult, I started to become free of my repression.
    This sounds like a messed up version of attachment theory.

  2. #182

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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I was driving home tonight from dropping off one of my favorite men, my eldest son, at the train station, and I passed by a road called, "Gracie," and it reminded me of the time my ex cheated on me with his old gf when we had just been into our new, loving relationship about 3 months. I mean we had been seeing each other off and on since many months before that, but we had been making love and practically living together for only the last 3 months or so. My mom bought me a ticket to travel to Spain to meet my half-sister and I was gone about six weeks. During that time, it was difficult to talk much to my ex husband (who was still my bf at the time) because I had to make phone calls from a hotel nearby and it cost a fortune. And letters took a while. Turns out he cheated on me at a party and I had suspicions by what he said when I spoke with him on the phone, but he didn't fess up until I got home--the night I got in. It was horrible. It took me many years to get over it and I am surprised that even today I'm still processing it to some degree. Why? I could have totally messed around with many guys in Spain, but didn't because I was in love with him. And I held that sacred. Why didn't he? Why can't love be as sacred for men as it is for women?


    Then I started realizing just how worthless men can be. More so than women. Think about it. Men cause the wars. Men cause the domestic violence. Men perpetrate the sex crimes, and most crime in general. Men are most likely to be child abusers. Men are still more likely to cheat (you know it's true). Men are not as able to take care of children AND work like women can.


    I think we only need about half as many men as women, or even less. Maybe 20%. Women can tribe up and earn money and do most of the work that needs doing. We only need men to contribute, to protect, and to help us make babies.


    I wonder what the world would be like with far fewer men.


    Thoughts?
    I wonder what it would be like too, I used to have an idyllic view of women, that is until I had a string of female managers and realised they could be as lousy as male managers and there wasnt anything innately different about them in that role by virtue of them being women.

    There was a feminist author who wrote a book What Are Men For? Or something like that a while back, I remember reading it and thinking it was like a confused columnist in a newspaper or magazine.

  3. #183

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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I have a different opinion from my past. For every 5 worthy men, I can think of only one worthy female. Woman can be more bad and back-stabbing than men at times and when I think back of my past I see how difficult it was to find a woman who is loyal at all. Most of them you couldnt entrust with a dollar.

    I too think that even if woman would make for a more compassionate society, then other problems would rise. The hunger for power over people is nothing that is purely encoded in males only.

    I generally dont think that you can solve problems by just wipeing it out. And if that was the definition or wisdom of a 'compassionate society' that means to wipe out men, I'ld want to be wiped out as well.
    That whole theme was worked out in the graphic novel series Y:The Last Man, which was pretty good, even if it was a little disappointing in its conclusion.

    Even if there was some sort of matriarchal tendency underlying everything which was as great as radical feminists have given it credit for being any change would have to start from were we are right now and that would mean that its not evident, at least not in every instance, right now.

  4. #184
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    That whole theme was worked out in the graphic novel series Y:The Last Man, which was pretty good, even if it was a little disappointing in its conclusion.

    Even if there was some sort of matriarchal tendency underlying everything which was as great as radical feminists have given it credit for being any change would have to start from were we are right now and that would mean that its not evident, at least not in every instance, right now.
    Yes. I even think that its wrong to completly seprate the World into patricharial and matricharial. This would completly ignore dependancies. I mean almost every man was raised by a woman one time or is in a partnership with one. In an ideal world all kind of thought and ideas we have cant be completly originate from one sole gender. Therefore on a big scale of decisions there isnt really a woman or men's sole way.

    One thing is for sure, woman are still bogged down in some jobs. But as long as everybody lives up to stereotypes the process to change that will last. Yesterday in the supermarket a woman told to her man that he was supposed to carry the case of water bottles. Then my gf asked me why men are supposed to carry the case of water bottles ? And I said I think thats because woman like to play the weaker sex plus they can become infertile when carrieing too heavy things. And my gf said well men damage their spine and the lower loin region, so it wouldnt be good for them too carry the case either.

    Well and thats the thing whats wrong with emancipation in my eyes. If you want equality you should go all the way and not just pick the best things from the cake and leave the rest on the table.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #185
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I guess I just am not in the world enough still. I'm in the world enough to see that men aren't as great as my great female friends. But I'm still discerning about the women I'm around. Even the women who I work with are a different niche of women because they have to be in order to have the kind of care I provide. And anyway, I cannot see how they are in their homes most of the time.

    It's nice to know that maybe men don't have a corner on the defective market. But then that means we're all really screwed up. So yeah.
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  6. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    So I was out tonight. And Kim, the ISTP waitress, sat with me because I was the only patron in the restaurant. And we got to talking. She is between men, and seems like she'd fit the 'jaded-woman' bill. I told her my thoughts today on men being worse than women, and she disagreed with me. She said women were just as bad as men regarding lying and being bitches and stuff like that. I said maybe I was just a jaded woman, and she said she was more jaded because she's gone past just men being bad into women being bad too. Then she said she could only think of one or two or one 'good' people that she knew.


    So I got to thinking that maybe I'm just friends with a LOT of awesome women, a disproportionate amount perhaps. And so it's not that the men are so bad, but that my women friends/acquaintances are just that good. Kim also thought maybe that it's just our perception, that we don't want to think our girlfriends are bad....Which could be true.



    I am not sorry for this thread. It was good to work through this with you, Type C folk. Should I be concerned that I don't know a better representative sample of society? I guess I can only do what I can do, and can only serve who come my way. Sorry if men got the brunt today. It's not that I'm totally changing my mind based on what Kim said, but mostly I am. I didn't believe y'all because, well, I have learned not to really trust everything you say. And this makes me sad.



    Love,

    ~A
    No excuse to be a bigot. So yeah, you're not sorry. But maybe you should be.

  7. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    So I got to thinking that maybe I'm just friends with a LOT of awesome women, a disproportionate amount perhaps. And so it's not that the men are so bad, but that my women friends/acquaintances are just that good. Kim also thought maybe that it's just our perception, that we don't want to think our girlfriends are bad....Which could be true.

    I am not sorry for this thread. It was good to work through this with you, Type C folk. Should I be concerned that I don't know a better representative sample of society? I guess I can only do what I can do, and can only serve who come my way. Sorry if men got the brunt today. It's not that I'm totally changing my mind based on what Kim said, but mostly I am. I didn't believe y'all because, well, I have learned not to really trust everything you say. And this makes me sad.

    Love,

    ~A
    I wouldn't be sorry for creating a thread like this, either, if it was a necessary step toward healing or figuring out the world.

    Good on you for probing the potential that your conclusions were hasty, even if it turns out that your conclusions are actually true. Exploring the space around what we think and know is good.

    However you grow, the important thing is that you're growing--it doesn't have to be through us at TypoC, but, hey, if we help, then we can be a part of it.

  8. #188
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    There is so much shit in this thread it could fertilize Iowa.

  9. #189
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I guess I just am not in the world enough still. I'm in the world enough to see that men aren't as great as my great female friends. But I'm still discerning about the women I'm around. Even the women who I work with are a different niche of women because they have to be in order to have the kind of care I provide. And anyway, I cannot see how they are in their homes most of the time.

    It's nice to know that maybe men don't have a corner on the defective market. But then that means we're all really screwed up. So yeah.
    My mother was the one who screwed me up but my father is awesome.

    Coloring entire subsets of society is not cool regardless of experiences. What do you think causes a lot of the violence that is attributed to men?

    Do you really want to be that? If it isn't cool to do this with Jews or Arabs or blacks or Asians or Christians, then it is also not cool to do this with men.

  10. #190
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Your father does seem awesome.

    But how awesome can he be if he allowed your mother to screw you up?


    But, yes, you are right. I should not do that. I didn't do that, except on here, yesterday. I think that is the same as struggling with something within one's own home and psyche and, well, here. Where else, how else, am I supposed to figure things out?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


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