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  1. #121
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Yeah, and I don't really agree with you too much, nor do I disagree much. I think I said it better and that you didn't really contribute too much to that. But thanks for your input.

    You might have a point with domestic violence when it comes to children. I could see men abusing women abusing children, and it being underreported. Point is, it comes originally from men, most likely.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  2. #122
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    You were unavailable, far away, and your relationship was new. He was at a party with an old love. This is sad, and I'm so sorry you were so hurt by it, but honestly it's not all that surprising. People are biologically wired for short-term gain and we're wired to reproduce as soon as possible. Humans are also more likely than many species to mate with one partner and we spend more time raising less children (as opposed to the survival strategy of having many partners and as many children as possible), but when your new partner is away and not contactable, and there's an old flame readily available, the opportunity of short-term gain is very clear - all the more when there was the potential to have both long-term and short-term gain, as long as you didn't find out.



    I don't think that's true. I think women might be better at overcoming our short-term impulses, but that says nothing about the quality of our internal love. And just because you screw up, doesn't mean you don't love. We're all human and fallible. So many men have studied love, live lives replete with love, written treatises on love, died for love. Thomas Aquinas, Saint Augustine, Empedocles, Spinoza, Jung, Aristotle, Plato, Saint Francis, Jesus, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King Jr, and so many more. Our fathers, grandfathers, brothers, boyfriends, friends.



    Men have also negotiated the peace treaties. Men have put rules into law enforcing punishment for domestic violence. Men have long held the tradition of escorting women and children off a sinking ship first. Men are more likely to be firefighters, doctors, and diplomats. Men are more likely to make significant advances in philosophy, law, environmental conservation, and scientific research. Men are stronger and more capable in most situations. It's a quirk of biology that men are more powerful and took control within the species early on. The rest is just subjective judgment and statistics are unstable. Maybe more of the men you know are unable to take care of work and a family so well. But really, we can never know what's true for certain, until we compare all men and all women.

    Moreover, if we say that men are a problem and seek to eliminate them, we might as well do it with every other group that has some lesser desirability. Black people are accused of more crimes in the United States than white people. Should we eliminate a percentage of them too? I'd also be willing to bet that sx-first people are more aggressive and risk-taking than others, and therefore are much more likely to be violent. Should we get rid of ourselves by a great percentage as well? What other groups can we off? We should probably off humans in general, because really we cause a vast amount of damage to the planet and all other beings on Earth.

    People mess up. People get angry. People use their biological defenses against one another. We've moved beyond an evolutionary-determined environment and now our goals often fly in the face of our instincts. This doesn't mean we need less people in the world. It means we need to learn to be better people and to help each other be better. We need to be patient and forgiving; we need to be courageous and perseverant. If men are falling behind in some way, women need to help them, not seek to be rid of them.

    You ask why your boyfriend didn't hold love for you sacred. Why aren't you holding love for humanity sacred?

    I just feel like this so much when I try to read your post.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  3. #123
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    Maybe men appear to be less altruistic and less understanding because they get stressed out from having to pay for everything?


    Haha, naw, could you imagine if I actually thought that way? Like, if I were a sexist? That wouldn't be very cool of me.

  4. #124
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Hmm. Yeah, that totally excuses lying and cheating and general dickish behavior.



    I don't expect who I'm seeing to pay for anything for me. If you have money issues, I'm sure there is a mate for you out there for you.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  5. #125
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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  6. #126
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    Having said that, there are issues, which cafe brought up:

    Men these days often feel like they can't win. Some of this is loss of a historic bias towards men in certain fields (earning potential, employment, legal status) that frankly, men just need to deal with. Equality in those areas has been needed, and is still ongoing. But in our ever-changing technological world, some of the things that men have taken pride and excelled in (physical strength, etc.) frankly aren't very important when it comes to the thing that men always have (and still are) been responsible for in their own eyes and in those of society - taking care of a family. This difference between a man's "purpose" and his ability to fulfill that purpose can be very discouraging, and can lead to criminality, chronic laziness, etc. It's the old stress response... when anyone (animals too) gets put in a chronic situation of failing no matter what they do... they give up. This is likely the case with many "delinquent" men. I'll state again that I'm not excusing the poor and/or violent behavior exhibited by such men - but seriously addressing the issue would need to take this sort of phenomenon into consideration, instead of a "men suck, put them in prison" sort of solution. A tie-in to the lousy economy, overpopulation, etc. is outside the scope of the topic, but it would eventually come into the discussion too.

    As an exercise, just to play devil's advocate to your own argument, would you be willing to state a list of things that you *like* about men? My point is that a lot of the things that people respect about men (strength, confidence, protectiveness, willingness to risk physical harm for the well-being of others) are based off of traits that are similar to negative traits, and that become negative when taken too far. It's not simple.
    I'm pretty sure men can't win. At least as things are now. There aren't very many places for them to win, at least. And, like you've implied, to a pretty great degree, despite there being men who are more suited to things as they are now, many women still want the brute. We can put on suits. We can sit at desks. We can build museums and universities and churches, but we're still apes playing dress-up in a lot of ways.

    I agree, too, that women are not much less violent than men, if not equally as violent. We tend to do less physical damage when we are and, as you've said, men only rarely report the abuse. I can think of a couple right off the top of my head where the man works his butt off and the woman is violent and abusive. I think he's finally divorcing her. I hope so anyway. Nobody deserves to have to live with that, but he was stuck because it was pretty likely she'd get the kids and then he wouldn't be there to deal with her craziness.

    I think schools, as they are now, are set up in a way that is unsuitable for most boys. Our safety-obsessed society is bad for kids, but especially bad for boys.

    I feel as though I've got a dog in this fight because I have both sons and daughters. Having men, as a group, feel displaced and adrift is not good for any of them or any future grandchildren I might have. I don't want to go back to the bad old days, but I don't know what the good new days are supposed to look like yet.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #127
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    The only good human is a dead one.

  8. #128
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I just feel like this so much when I try to read your post.
    Cognitive Dissonance

    I am genuinely hurt that you freely insult and dismiss thoughts I spent a long time on. For as much as you talk about love, you always seem so ready to write other people off and so ready to hurt them. I don't understand.

    Quote Originally Posted by 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  9. #129
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Rasofy approves of the development of this thread~

  10. #130
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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