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  1. #51
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    That is your choice. I expect there are plenty of women who will suit your tastes, whether naturally occuring or constrained to be so by social expectations. As long as many of the more positive and adult qualities are lumped into the "masculine" bucket, though, you may be settling for the short end of the stick. Of course, women who do exhibit these traits might have no interest in you. (Yet another manifestation of different strokes for different folks.)
    I was trying to illustrate the point that I think that can be over thought easily, the so called "false dichotomy" of gender is a lot of post modern BS to my mind, theorising which has left the building and become too distant from inuitive understandings and for want of a better word "human nature", I was also passing a comment upon appearences in a way but that is linked to norms too.

  2. #52
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I was trying to illustrate the point that I think that can be over thought easily, the so called "false dichotomy" of gender is a lot of post modern BS to my mind, theorising which has left the building and become too distant from inuitive understandings and for want of a better word "human nature", I was also passing a comment upon appearences in a way but that is linked to norms too.
    Does everything always come down to a clash of ideologies to you? Some people genuinely grow up experiencing "more grey" areas with gender, and their views are shaped that way. It's not always deliberate. My dad, while a man, is probably the more feminine of my parents. I think it's because his dad died so young, and my grandma was left to raise him. He resembles some of her (good) traits in many ways. He was always the one who demonstrated more sympathy, things like that. My mom grew up in harsher conditions, and I think she had the tougher, more stoic, less nurturing attitude. But she's still a woman. And this is only my insignificant, personal upbringing that shaped some of my views. Think of all the billions of people over history that grow up differently. There are so many reasons why people think the way they do. Not everyone is choosing to live in some academic, post modern bubble (or whatever) that informs their ideas on things like this. Sometimes, shit just happens. And that's how they come to their views of the world.

  3. #53
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I personally think that the lady in the OP is overreacting and that most people like those she is describing tend to settle down with age

    why do I think this? I used to run with a group rather similar to the one that she described in the OP in college, only perhaps a little more obnoxious (though smart phones didn't even EXIST back then! )... we'd obnoxiously hit on guys to the point of catcalling out the windows of moving vehicles, we'd make the worst dirty jokes, hired a male stripper for a party, had a giant glow in the dark dildo as a prominent decoration in the window of our dorm room and took it with us in the car to deep throat at unsuspecting truckers and had a blow up doll that we kept in the back seat at all times and tended to dress up for the occasion... all of us have settled down by now to the point where I'm the only one who doesn't have kids

    we're all smart, none of us ever had our gpa slip below 3.8 and all of us were on a professional career path (I'm the only one who didn't end up following through with that)... it was mostly just a reaction to our new found freedom and the pure joy of being as bad as any of the boys... nothing about the horrible morals of today's youth... we were blowing off steam just like kids have done from ANY generation- we just thought we'd found a new and novel way to do it
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #54
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    ^usually that is 18-22 for most girls, 24-27 is ltr mode, 28-30 is usually baby/marriage mode, and 31+ will usually be fuck mode 2.0 but it is affected by a lot of factors like wealth, attractiveness, education, ethnicity, etc at least ime
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  5. #55
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    ^usually that is 18-22 for most girls, 24-27 is ltr mode, 28-30 is usually baby/marriage mode, and 31+ will usually be fuck mode 2.0 but it is affected by a lot of factors like wealth, attractiveness, education, ethnicity, etc at least ime
    Hmm, and what happens when most girls are 23?

    Do they find Jesus?


  6. #56
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    it's a transition period so it depends on the girl and her factors usually for esfp this period lasts a lot longer for example
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  7. #57
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Does everything always come down to a clash of ideologies to you? Some people genuinely grow up experiencing "more grey" areas with gender, and their views are shaped that way. It's not always deliberate. My dad, while a man, is probably the more feminine of my parents. I think it's because his dad died so young, and my grandma was left to raise him. He resembles some of her (good) traits in many ways. He was always the one who demonstrated more sympathy, things like that. My mom grew up in harsher conditions, and I think she had the tougher, more stoic, less nurturing attitude. But she's still a woman. And this is only my insignificant, personal upbringing that shaped some of my views. Think of all the billions of people over history that grow up differently. There are so many reasons why people think the way they do. Not everyone is choosing to live in some academic, post modern bubble (or whatever) that informs their ideas on things like this. Sometimes, shit just happens. And that's how they come to their views of the world.
    A lot of the time it is the clash of ideologies, its important to look for it especially were its supposedly abscent too and apart from anything else its an online discussion, unless you really want to discuss the minuita of what it was like growing up in your home it only makes sense to discuss something like the clash of ideologies. Its grand if you'd prefer the former but I'm really only interested in the later and will look at a different discussion thread or discuss the topic with someone else if that's the case.

  8. #58
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    A lot of the time it is the clash of ideologies, its important to look for it especially were its supposedly abscent too and apart from anything else its an online discussion, unless you really want to discuss the minuita of what it was like growing up in your home it only makes sense to discuss something like the clash of ideologies. Its grand if you'd prefer the former but I'm really only interested in the later and will look at a different discussion thread or discuss the topic with someone else if that's the case.
    Hey man, to your credit, you seem pretty informed (about your own views and opposing ones). I'm just saying it's bookish. Which wouldn't be so bad if you didn't paint others as bookish too. As if they came to their conclusions on such essential things to the human experience as "gender" is via an explict ideaological viewpoint. People are often more complicated than that, and ideas often come about unconsciously and/or organically (for lack of a better word). Not through media or their brainwashing professors (this could go for many subjects). And if you don't want to engage others on this level, then what's the point of even talking about anything then. All your left with then is mere parlour talk with other academics.

  9. #59
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    It is certainly worthwhile to consider trends and the broader influences contributing to them. A trend is just an aggregate of individual choices, though, with change reflecting the possibility and reality of more individuals making different choices. And that is my point: ultimately each individual being able to make personal choices and generally be themselves with minimal constraints.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #60
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    A lot of the time it is the clash of ideologies, its important to look for it especially were its supposedly abscent too and apart from anything else its an online discussion, unless you really want to discuss the minuita of what it was like growing up in your home it only makes sense to discuss something like the clash of ideologies. Its grand if you'd prefer the former but I'm really only interested in the later and will look at a different discussion thread or discuss the topic with someone else if that's the case.
    Hey man, to your credit, you seem pretty informed (about your own views and opposing ones). I'm just saying it's kind of bookish. Which wouldn't be so bad if you didn't paint others as bookish too. As if they came to their conclusions on such essential things to the human experience as "gender" through an ideaological viewpoint. People are often more complicated than that, and ideas often come about unconsciously and/or organically (for lack of a better word). Not through media or their brainwashing professors. I'm not criticizing you for not being mindful of minutiae, but for not being more realistic about it. You sometimes seem inclined to give other worldviews some kind of grand design and agenda. And I'm just here to say life is more boring than that. And if you don't want to engage others on this level, to each their own. I'll just say that all your left with then is mere parlour talk with other academics.

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