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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Americans are crazy about getting married early, I never managed to get it. Then, they kind of don't really mind getting divorced, as if it's something normal. This whole patterns looks completely irrational.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #12
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lowtech redneck View Post
    Edit: As for the generational difference, younger baby-boomers and older members of Generation X spent their chilhood and young adulthood through a time when emerging gender equality norms were still essentially responding to the idealized 50's family, and in response I think the pendelum was swinging in the opposite direction to such an extent that marriage (especially marriage with children) at a young age was almost seen as a means of keeping women pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, in opposition to having a career and the capacity for independence from the control of a man. Younger Generation Xers and Millennials were already socialized from childhood to consider romantic relationships as a partnership between equals, and so don't feel the need (subconcious or otherwise) to react against an earlier, idealized social norm.
    I think that's probably true, as well.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #13
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Theoretically I'm all for waiting until at least 25 to get married, but if you meet your mate earlier in life it can complicate things. That would have been an 8-year courtship for us. I got married at 22 and had my first child at 23. I wouldn't change a thing about it.

  4. #14
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    *is old and grumpy* if these kids are ANYTHING like I was at that age they certainly have no business hitching up to someone forever!

    seriously... I had no plans of EVER settling down at the age of 25! (ok... then I started dating the man that year, but that's DATING him, not marrying him! and it started out as a fling! )
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #15
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    *is old and grumpy* if these kids are ANYTHING like I was at that age they certainly have no business hitching up to someone forever!

    seriously... I had no plans of EVER settling down at the age of 25! (ok... then I started dating the man that year, but that's DATING him, not marrying him! and it started out as a fling! )
    I think that's fine, but not everyone is you. I had already been with my husband for eight years when I was 25. I'm now 36, and next year we'll have been together 20 years (married for 15). It's not for everyone, but I think it's safe to say that the naysayers were wrong about us. /also old and grumpy

  6. #16
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I think that's fine, but not everyone is you. I had already been with my husband for eight years when I was 25. I'm now 36, and next year we'll have been together 20 years (married for 15). It's not for everyone, but I think it's safe to say that the naysayers were wrong about us. /also old and grumpy
    and that's why the "if" was in the sentence
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #17
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    If pigs had wings...

  8. #18
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    From what I understand, marriage is primarily derived from religious belief and then extended to culture which could influence the assumption and desire to get married. For the strongly conservative religious who don't believe in sex until marriage, young people are highly motivated to get married young. I'm not sure what percentage of Americans lean towards that degree of conservatism, but it would definitely be a factor. There is also the desire in young people to function as adults and if marriage is seen as a right of passage then that too would be a motivator.

    As a side note, I've wondered what motivates non-religious cultures to sustain the tradition of marriage. I understand the tradition of family units, but not "til death do us part". That only makes sense in a religious context of monogamy to make a sacred vow of it. I can personally understand loving someone enough to be with them for a lifetime, but to have that externally imposed without the religious aspect is what I don't understand.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  9. #19
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    If pigs had wings...
    we would coat them with sauce and sell them in restaurants
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #20
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Theoretically I'm all for waiting until at least 25 to get married, but if you meet your mate earlier in life it can complicate things. That would have been an 8-year courtship for us. I got married at 22 and had my first child at 23. I wouldn't change a thing about it.
    Mhmh, why is before-marriage necessarily a "courtship"? Lots of people live together before getting married
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

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