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Thread: Amanda Todd

  1. #21
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    This girl was failed--not just in this but in many other, equally pointless, equally unjustifiable ways--and then remorselessly punished for her pain.
    This. So well written.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I still don't get the pack mentality of sucking in people, using them, spitting them out, and then compelling them to self-terminate. I mean, I guess I was invisible in high school, my worst period of being bullied was middle-school, but I outlasted them and they got caught up in other things. I guess if I had truly needed to be "part of things" then maybe it would have been different.
    @fia can explain

    My assessment is that such teenagers have little sympathy for others, and are cruel just for kicks. Also to increase their own social status and belong within a social group. Outcasts make non-outcasts closer. Also they enjoy getting a reaction. That whole 'power' thing.

  3. #23
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Terrible story. Maybe we should bring this back for the asshole pedophile that got the ball rolling. It seems a fitting punishment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    This is the saddest part of the whole thread.

    If false, the disregard for this situation is horrible (and can be seen by the comments so far)...

    If true, the disregard for the overall issue is horrible, and I include the whole range of general disregard all the way to slut shaming and projection.

    ---

    I have nothing to say in particular about the situation that shouldn't be obvious. Sad overall, but especially sad when she didn't get the help she needed with the first two attempts.
    When I saw the posts you are referring to, I thought "oh well.. I guess they just don't care... ok... but I don't see why they went out of their way to tell me that they don't care. Seemed like an ego-stroke to show how clever and well-informed they are"

    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    Thirded. The whole atmosphere of the thread defined the thoughtless disregard that contributed to her loneliness and self-loathing.

    And the slut-shaming, oh, it really gets me. If you suffer the women of your culture to be defined more by their sex appeal than any facet of their personhood or humanity, and their own personal sexuality--the same innate urges and desires you unaccountably allow yourself but deny to them--to be subjugated and ignored, and then punish them for behaving in ways which your ignorance and self-interest cannot abide, it's fair to say that you first fail women utterly, and then punish them for having been repeatedly and hopelessly failed.

    This girl was failed--not just in this but in many other, equally pointless, equally unjustifiable ways--and then remorselessly punished for her pain.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    World as is despises vulnerability, people despise it in themselves whether they are conscious or unconscious about it, they definitely despise it in others and its definitely very pronounced among younger people.

    Hearts have been hardened to suffering.
    There're a lot of less than ideal (oftentimes WAAAAAYYY less than ideal) aspects of our culture. The beliefs, attitudes, perceptions, and identities that people have could be way better. And by better, I mean conducive to making themselves and others happier and more efficient/productive.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Terrible story. Maybe we should bring this back for the asshole pedophile that got the ball rolling. It seems a fitting punishment.
    Wiki sez: As a medical diagnosis, pedophilia, or paedophilia, is a psychiatric disorder in persons 16 years of age or older typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children (generally age 13 years or younger, though onset of puberty varies).

    So, it's not pedophilia IMO, and in medical diagnosis opinion. BTW, really nasty head crusher.

  6. #26
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Same here. And a shame that her peers basically goaded her on to end her life / contributed to her misery. So pointless, such a waste, and now there are those who are suffering because of losing her. Yes, such a waste. This is a person who might have gone on to live another 60 years, raising a family, contributing to the world (or maybe not, who knows?); but in any case, such a pointless ending.

    I think I already discussed it to death on another forum, when it happened, though.

    I still don't get the pack mentality of sucking in people, using them, spitting them out, and then compelling them to self-terminate. I mean, I guess I was invisible in high school, my worst period of being bullied was middle-school, but I outlasted them and they got caught up in other things. I guess if I had truly needed to be "part of things" then maybe it would have been different.
    There is a fiercely negative undercurrent in society towards women. A young girl showing a body part and then being accused of having sex with someone's boyfriend has not committed any crime worthy of death. That mentality is what you have in countries with extreme oppression of women. That people can join so readily in that mentality says something extreme. (Especially when there are also politicians dismissing the pain and severity of rape).

    She certainly could have been saved with professional help. I wish her parents would have let her be home-schooled until that man could be dealt with legally with a restraining order.

    I also think that people should be prosecuted when being on record as telling someone to kill self. That is the same as making a death threat and should be a criminal offense everywhere. I hope each one is prosecuted seriously.
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  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bilateral Entry View Post
    My assessment is that such teenagers have little sympathy for others, and are cruel just for kicks. Also to increase their own social status and belong within a social group. Outcasts make non-outcasts closer. Also they enjoy getting a reaction. That whole 'power' thing.
    Well, I understand all that perfectly well and could come up with it on my own.

    But it's so ... "textbook." I mean, I still don't get WHY they are that way. Who would WANT to be that way? How can someone live with themselves when they are that way?

    That is what I don't understand. It's alien to me to operate that way.
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  8. #28
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    I find this story to be extremely sad, not just because of the conclusion, but because of all of the missed opportunities to prevent it.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    There is a fiercely negative undercurrent in society towards women. A young girl showing a body part and then being accused of having sex with someone's boyfriend has not committed any crime worthy of death. That mentality is what you have in countries with extreme oppression of women. That people can join so readily in that mentality says something extreme. (Especially when there are also politicians dismissing the pain and severity of rape).

    She certainly could have been saved with professional help. I wish her parents would have let her be home-schooled until that man could be dealt with legally with a restraining order.

    I also think that people should be prosecuted when being on record as telling someone to kill self. That is the same as making a death threat and should be a criminal offense everywhere. I hope each one is prosecuted seriously.
    I agree with that, no one should be able to hound someone to their deaths, wether they are naive or immature or believe its nothing really significant they are doing.

    I am a professional social worker and I'll be honest, I've seen most professional responses to issues like this, and it has seriously disillusioned me as to what professional responses can do, it has also been the strongest vindication of the old saying about respecting the individual and not the office I have ever known.

    This was, and is, a social and political issue, not just a question of individual resilience or vulnerability. A professional can try and correct neurotic or other symptoms and replace it with "ordinary misery" but whatever they are able to achieve through talk therapies, and sometimes medication, will only go so far when the same culture and stressors are forever present. I totally agree that the attitudes of major, major political figures are indicative of what is going on at the popular level and is probably much more intense at the level of less mature and the more morally black and white intellectualising of young people.

    When I was growing up it was obvious to me that girls who acted like this were vulnerable, althought there were plenty of predatory and objectifying males around who didnt really want to correct that but were pleased to victimise or castigate the same girls as "sluts" because it took the heat of them and any attention to their behaviour.

    I always thought it was despicable, I remember when I was as young as twelve peers engaging in a lot of sexualised talk they had picked up from older peers or siblings or age inappropriate films and acting as though this were privileged information which those not possessing it were fools or easily picked on, it used to bother me because I always thought it was disrespectful and couldnt have said it was the objectifying aspect which bothered me because I obviously hadnt those words for it but it was all the same.

  10. #30
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    ^Good post @Lark
    I especially appreciate the comment about it being a social and political issue.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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