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  1. #11
    Senior Member lowtech redneck's Avatar
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    ^based on the ACLU comments, they wouldn't have been satisfied unless the school district did away with father-daughter and mother-son themed events altogether (on account of gender stereotyping). If all the school had to do was make an exception for daughters without a mother-approved father figure in their life, then the school was being unreasonable.

    Edit: I don't consider event designed to celebrate a father/daughter or mother/son bond (which do tend to differ from father/son and mother/daughter bonds) should be considered legal discrimination, so long as necessary exceptions are made, any more than Mother's Day celebrations should be prohibited.

  2. #12
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Why didn't the school replace the contested dance with a parent-child dance, then? The father-daughter one was contested on Title IX (gender) grounds, so having a dance that isn't tied to the gender of the students or parents should be just fine. Is that not good enough for the school for some reason?

  3. #13
    Junior Member Icarus's Avatar
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    It seems a little excessive to ban this.
    "I am the one who knocks."

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  4. #14
    Senior Member lowtech redneck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Why didn't the school replace the contested dance with a parent-child dance, then? The father-daughter one was contested on Title IX (gender) grounds, so having a dance that isn't tied to the gender of the students or parents should be just fine. Is that not good enough for the school for some reason?
    They wanted an event to specifically celebrate father/daughter bonds, just like Mother's Day celebrates motherhood....if mother/daughters or mother/sons wanted to attend they should have allowed them, but they shouldn't have to change the thematic element of the dance.

  5. #15
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    All dances shall henceforth be known as Let's Dance dances.


  6. #16
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I support this endeavor.

  7. #17
    WALMART
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    Very, very rarely do I react negatively to social evolution and all that jazz...


    But really?

  8. #18
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lowtech redneck View Post
    They wanted an event to specifically celebrate father/daughter bonds, just like Mother's Day celebrates motherhood....if mother/daughters or mother/sons wanted to attend they should have allowed them, but they shouldn't have to change the thematic element of the dance.
    Sounds reasonable to me. Have a formal parent/child dance, open to kids and parents of both genders. Same with basketball, or whatever else they come up with. Also (and I have seen this done many places), allow other adults to take the place of mother or father when the actual parent is unavailable: grandparents, aunts, uncles, older brother/sister, etc.

    The way to eliminate sexism is not to discontinue exclusive events/benefits, but to open them up to both genders. Then everyone gains vs. everyone losing.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #19
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lowtech redneck View Post
    They wanted an event to specifically celebrate father/daughter bonds, just like Mother's Day celebrates motherhood....if mother/daughters or mother/sons wanted to attend they should have allowed them, but they shouldn't have to change the thematic element of the dance.
    You're not allowed to celebrate fatherhood unless everyone has a father to celebrate it with. Get with it.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #20
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INA View Post
    You're not allowed to celebrate fatherhood unless everyone has a father to celebrate it with. Get with it.
    When I attended church, there were always problems like this.

    On Mother's Day, they liked to give out a flower to every mother. But then women who lost a child or women who could not / had not yet conceived felt ostracized and/or were emotionally devastated at not having a flower. So then they would just give a flower to everyone... or do nothing at all. There seemed to be a problem with any solution that was offered.

    I don't know. For me, I've always taken responsibility for myself and tried to find joy in other people's happiness. For example, when someone talks about good times with their dad, despite my relationship with my dad sucking so badly that I basically don't have one, I still feel good for them if not for me (and maybe even better, because it restores my hope in the possibility of good relationships existing). The same goes for marriage; yes, I'm getting divorced, but I still find pleasure amid the pain in seeing friends get married and/or have a good relationship with their spouse. Yet I'm also not a child, I'm a grownup and can deal.

    To sum it up, it seems counter-productive to me to punish the fortunate so that the unfortunate won't experience some pain. Yet these are kids here; and in this case, an actual long event that you can't attend unless you have a dad seems exclusionary to me; the group needs to also consider the impact on its members, especially if it's an entire event.

    I think a community atmosphere would probably (1) help teach people to feel joy for others regardless of their own situation but (2) also seek ways to fill the gap, like permitting even kids without parents to attend. (Here at work, for example, we have "Asian" events where non-Asian people are also included if they want to come, but the experience is Asian-culture-based.) Basically, it could be a dance where you can bring your dad/father if he wants to come (to allow for father/daughter interaction) but it is not required.

    I brainstormed briefly about matching up older mature men with younger girls to help them feel special for the night -- idealistically that sounds wonderful, but there's also a big potential for a few bad apples to exploit the situation to their benefit, which isn't good in the least. Sigh.

    Quote Originally Posted by lowtech redneck View Post
    They wanted an event to specifically celebrate father/daughter bonds, just like Mother's Day celebrates motherhood....if mother/daughters or mother/sons wanted to attend they should have allowed them, but they shouldn't have to change the thematic element of the dance.

    Yes. I think that makes sense. And I'm even for letting kids without their parents come, even though the theme will not change, if it will help them feel more part of the group. Maybe a girl with a friend who is bringing a parent can be "adopted" by her friends' parents for the evening, as one way to compensate as well.

    That's probably better than being matched up with a random parent. I mean, typically, parents of your friends know you and already extend you some courtesies and care (inviting you for dinner, letting you stay overnight), typically they're already reaching out to you; so for an event like this, maybe you'd be "adopted" for the evening.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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