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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    If you argue with a woman I think it is seen as a form of epistemic violence and they are taken aback by it fearing it to be indicative of a physically abusive personality.

    That was @DiscoBiscuit
    Well that opinion is bullshit.

  2. #42
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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  3. #43
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    It is for pretty much all these reasons that I consider myself a retrosexual.

  4. #44
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    Too bad that is not the only difference between them. Traits tend to flock together in groups. Everything is a cost-benefit tradeoff and people have to make their choices.
    Of course. And people aren't stereotypes, everyone has unique combinations of traits, etc etc. I'm just saying that if that's been his experience, it's probably been because he's been dating more "traditional" women, and his experience is very likely to be different with someone a little less like that, so it's not a great idea to generalize to the extent that "women are like this". Actually, it's not so great of an idea in general, unless it's something like "a woman will generally have a uterus".
    -end of thread-

  5. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Pretty much since the birth of the "every kid is special" train of thought in education, which came about while I was in elementary school I've felt this way.
    I'm on board with this.

    I'm pregnant with my first and I have no plans to send out invites and throw parties for the kindergarten graduation, the elementary graduation, and the junior high graduation as my kid moves along the educational ladder. I don't much care what people think. My FB newsfeed is littered with every Mom in my family trying to make a monumental event out of every trivial milestone in their children's lives. (They completed summer swimming lessons! They finished pre-K! They got City's Cutest Baby picture in the local paper! Let's have a barbecue etc. etc.) I'm cool with noting said events and spreading the good word. But I'm not cool with needing to make a special occasion out of every frickin thing.

    Do they really expect me to buy gifts and take off work for this stuff? I have over 20+ FIRST younger cousins! Seriously?

    @Ivy In that skit, if you see the whole thing, he explicitly points out that millions of women are steely-eyed realists and millions of men are anything but --but for a lack of a better word, he refers to them as feminine values (not feminist FTR).
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  6. #46
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Well that opinion is bullshit.
    Perhaps it evolved culturally because it was a useful trait for the group it evolved for. Nothing is stupid, it exists because it is useful.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Of course. And people aren't stereotypes, everyone has unique combinations of traits, etc etc. I'm just saying that if that's been his experience, it's probably been because he's been dating more "traditional" women, and his experience is very likely to be different with someone a little less like that, so it's not a great idea to generalize to the extent that "women are like this". Actually, it's not so great of an idea in general, unless it's something like "a woman will generally have a uterus".
    Not all women are like this.

    Not all of any class of people are like anything.

    What I'm trying to understand, is why has the whole henpecked man trope persisted even as we have evolved beyond that understanding of gender interactions.

  8. #48
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    This is probably fodder for another thread, but I don't see what's wrong with saying "every child is special." Every child IS special. That doesn't mean "good at everything." But fuck yes, I'm going to figure out what each of my kids IS good at and encourage the fuck out of it. We don't do celebrations though, because I don't really like being around people all that much.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    Perhaps it evolved culturally because it was a useful trait for the group it evolved for. Nothing is stupid, it exists because it is useful.
    Useful to who?

    How is not having to defend your ideas through verbal interaction useful?

  10. #50
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    The TV/media thing, I started a thread about that on INTPc a few years back. It's an interesting sociological phenomenon, but TV/media isn't reality. It's interesting to look at how they're marketing stuff to women with the implication that they're REALLY in charge.

    I can't really account for your personal experience, as it's not something I've seen in my own experience. If anything, I've had experiences with men who are dismissive when *I* argue with *them* instead of just bowing to their clearly superior wisdom. We used to hang out with this couple- a scientist husband and a homemaker wife. Noah and I talk about science all the time together, so when we got together I expected to be where they were, talking about science and shit. But this dude practically shooed me and his wife into the kitchen to talk about woman things instead of having a real conversation between the four of us. He would take Noah into his "study" and close the door, with the clear implication that we would be interrupting if we went in and tried to join their conversation.
    Women really are in charge. Or rather, MOTHERS are. Advertising targets women because up to 70% of retail purchases are decided by women. Lazy men who leave "domestic tasks" to their wives inadvertently increased their power. This is why "everything creates its opposite" like how corporations fucked over employees for so long that now they are just beginning to feel the backlash that has been building up for over 30 years.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Useful to who?

    How is not having to defend your ideas through verbal interaction useful?
    You're thinking about this individually under today's circumstances with people similar to yourself. You're not thinking about the hundreds of thousands of years where we were monkeys and an "argument" would result in a beating (at the least). If you don't believe in evolution, than look at cultures like russia where domestic violence is still quite common.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

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