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  1. #41
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    The speaker is working backwards from the data (about the decline in the performance of boys/young men) to probable cause. No doubt addictive practices alter the brains of men and women in the same way, but the fact is that far more males than females are addicted to porn/video games.
    Well, that's clearly because males are inferior and unnecessary.
    Women are responsible for defining the role of men? Can't they define their own role? Maybe they could if they could drag themselves away from their screens for a bit...
    Neither gender can define its own role. Women have been organized and on the offensive for 100+ years. Kudos to them for affecting positive change.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  2. #42
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Hmm, right now with my brother hospitalized, I actually have quite a lot of free time (well, not entirely free, I am having phoneshifts 24/7, but phones can be forwarded to my cell.). Right now sure, I wouldn't mind having a relationship and be with a woman to spend some time with. But the reality of it all is that this is not the kind of work I enjoy doing, and once my brother is back and takes on his work, I'll be driving around europe again, doing what I love doing. And most weeks, the little time I spend at home, is spent sleeping or winding down/procrastinating. There's very little time left for me to focus on having a partner in my life.

    Maybe that is sad, that the day only has 24 hours, but if I had a problem with thatand felt I needed to be in a relationshop to feel complete, I wouldn't be doing the work I am doing. So it's still my choice to be single, and the woman I would otherwise be paired with is better off because of it.
    That's a very all-or-nothing approach to life...
    You protest too much. Not wanting a relationship is absolutely fine. But you kind of do, if you're honest with yourself. You're just afraid of letting someone down / afraid of being let down.

    Even if you deny yourself a relationship (for what seem to be valid reasons) you needn't deny yourself friendship. And if you allow yourself friendship, then why not friendship with women?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #43
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    And I'm sorry if I come across as particular emotional about this subject. But I've been pushed and pushed and pushed some more in real life to seek a relationship by those around me and it has left me a bit bitter about the subject.. I know it's not easy to explain yourself when you say you want to be single. But that's my life.

    I have a few real close friends, one is female. I'm just not intimate with her, the free spirited kind of commitment in a friendship fits in every lifestyle. If I don't speak with her for a week, it's no big deal. If I want to speak with her today, that's fine too, just have to pick up my phone. But that's not how a romantic relationship could function though.

    But you kind of do, if you're honest with yourself. You're just afraid of letting someone down / afraid of being let down.
    There are a lot of things I want but can never have. The fact is I'm happy with what I have now, and adding a relationship would mean sacrificing other parts.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #44
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Well, that's clearly because males are inferior and unnecessary.

    Neither gender can define its own role. Women have been organized and on the offensive for 100+ years. Kudos to them for affecting positive change.
    The victim mentality is deeply unsexy. Maybe that accounts for all the "striking out"?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #45
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    And I'm sorry if I come across as particular emotional about this subject. But I've been pushed and pushed and pushed some more in real life to seek a relationship by those around me and it has left me a bit bitter about the subject.. I know it's not easy to explain yourself when you say you want to be single. But that's my life.
    I don't think anyone should have to justify their decision to be either in a relationship or out of one.

    The emphasis for speaker in the OP is on those men who want a relationship but don't know how to make that happen because they don't know how to speak to/interact with women. And the reason they don't know how to do that is because they are conditioned to think of women as an alien species useful for fucking and not much else. And much of that conditioning is done by porn/video games/other low brow entertainment. Until that changes, relationships between the sexes are always going to be problematic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #46
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    The emphasis for speaker in the OP is on those men who want a relationship but don't know how to make that happen because they don't know how to speak to/interact with women. And the reason they don't know how to do that is because they are conditioned to think of women as an alien species useful for fucking and not much else. And much of that conditioning is done by porn/video games/other low brow entertainment. Until that changes, relationships between the sexes are always going to be problematic.
    Hmm, yeah to be honest, I'm nothing like that. If I ever do find the time and resources the enjoy a relationship. And feel I can truely commit to that relationship, which is a requirement for me to even begin one. I will be the lover of her dreams.

    Right now, either I have to win the jackpot or find a career woman, but without the required financial resources, it's a no go and I'm sticking with the job I enjoy. And I know for a fact that if I would change jobs, I would hate that job and the relationship would probably not work out because of it. If I didn't need to work for money and could focus on doing whatever I enjoy doing, there are plenty of things I could kill my time with.

    But those are just dreams.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #47

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    Who is this guy and what had he to do with the stanford prison experiment? I thought that was Stanley Milgram.

    Anyway, I was aware of developments like this trending at least two or three years ago, although back then being alarmist about it was considered conservative, prudish, bigotted, possibly all three. Oh and a buzz kill. Although if this is mainly effecting people who're under twenty one or only twenty one now then I'm fortunate to have been in the prior generation. We were still dealing with the demise of Marxism, decline of socialism is all but a prejorative sense and general depoliticisation of society, government and the economy.

  8. #48
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Milgram was the sixties, Zimabardo and Stanford Prison, the seventies, with similar / more disturbing results. Not really relevant though.

    There are wankers in every generation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #49
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I think it’s an interesting issue. And while I normally wouldn’t care too much about my fellow menfolk turning in to wastes of life making it easier to hurdle over them, scores of bored and useless men tend to have disastrous effects on society. Plus it’s no fun for the newly empowered women to be faced with an already dismal pool of specimen that’s only swelling with forever aloners.

    Media still presents women to men as objects and the traditional male gender role is all but reinforced even as women break free of the institutions that necessitate that role. I don’t find it coincidental that a show like Mad Men is so popular; it seems a cathartic escape to an environment that embodies the messages they’re bombarded with daily and can even seem more familiar to them than the environment they’re in.

    I’m a little disappointed he didn’t offer some kind of perspective forward, the speaker seemed complacent to simply “sound the alarm” and leave it at that. Not that I'd know where to begin myself.



  10. #50
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    I didn't watch the video theory, but I'm familiar with the concept of young men doing less well and such, and frankly I think it's a social trend toward enabling boys to be...perma-boys. Less is expected out of boys and men than it was fifty years ago. MUCH more was expected from my grandpa than probably any of the men I've ever dated. And that's not even scratching the surface of the unemployed losers with three baby mamas, because I don't give it away to scumbags that low on the social chain.

    I really think people believe the lie that boys are less mature than girls...sure...they are...between 11-16...at 16 the male and female brain level out, and by 18 the male brain is actually bigger than the female brain.

    This whole excusing away the immaturity or putting low expectations on young men is a self-fulfilling prophecy from their external environment. It not only hurts males, but the females who have to put up with their lazy, dependent garbage.

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