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  1. #31
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    1. Men, as a group, have always preferred the company of other men. This is nothing new and should probably be viewed as the default behavior.
    2. The internet and all other late 20th/early 21st century technologies have altered the minds of females, too. This speaker is taking a very narrow view of the issue by focusing only on the changes in males.
    3. The feminist movement has changed the role of males in society, the result being that many males do not know where they fit in because the male gender role is no longer clearly defined.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  2. #32
    . Blank's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlvMAS_20K4&feature=relmfu"]Men not marrying? How deep does "the problem" go?[/YOUTUBE]

    Relevant.
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Te = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ne = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Si = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
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    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fe = 0

    -----------------
    Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why;
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand

  3. #33
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    1. Men, as a group, have always preferred the company of other men. This is nothing new and should probably be viewed as the default behavior.
    That's probably true. Though no well-rounded individual will exclusively associate with members of their own sex.
    2. The internet and all other late 20th/early 21st century technologies have altered the minds of females, too. This speaker is taking a very narrow view of the issue by focusing only on the changes in males.
    The speaker is working backwards from the data (about the decline in the performance of boys/young men) to probable cause. No doubt addictive practices alter the brains of men and women in the same way, but the fact is that far more males than females are addicted to porn/video games.
    3. The feminist movement has changed the role of males in society, the result being that many males do not know where they fit in because the male gender role is no longer clearly defined.
    Women are responsible for defining the role of men? Can't they define their own role? Maybe they could if they could drag themselves away from their screens for a bit...

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I was only lightly into the topic, but I'll give you a serious reply on how I feel about this from my point of view.

    It's not a disadvantage. Or doesn't have to be. I chose to be single, because I enjoy being alone, don't have a specific social need to be in a relationship, am glad I can get rid of sexual feelings within mere minutes so I don't have to walk around with them and run the family business, which requires me to be available 24/7 and often work at irregular times, nightshifts, etc. So I don't feel I have room or time for a relationship anyway.
    Every member of a social species has a "specific social need to be in a relationship". Whether they recognise it or not.

    What is disturbing to me is that so many men seem to see no value in relationships outside of "getting rid of sexual feelings". Seriously? That's really sad.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #34
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post

    What is disturbing to me is that so many men seem to see no value in relationships outside of "getting rid of sexual feelings". Seriously? That's really sad.
    Ehh, yeah, from an evolutionary point of view, all relationships are for is having sex and making babies. Every other expectation you might have is subjective. Also, you might find it sad, doesn't mean it is sad.

    What would be sad is wanting a relationship but being unable to have one. Choices are never a sad thing.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  5. #35
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Ehh, yeah, from an evolutionary point of view, all relationships are for is having sex and making babies. Also, you might find it sad, doesn't mean it is sad.

    What would be sad is wanting a relationship but being unable to have one. Choices are never a sad thing.
    You weren't speaking from an evolutionary point of view, but a personal one. Evolution doesn't have a point of view. And if you don't reproduce, evolution has no use for you.

    I don't think it's sad that you don't want/don't have a relationship. I think it's sad that you don't understand what they are for.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #36
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    You weren't speaking from an evolutionary point of view, but a personal one. Evolution doesn't have a point of view. And if you don't reproduce, evolution has no use for you.

    I don't think it's sad that you don't want/don't have a relationship. I think it's sad that you don't understand what they are for.
    Yeah, I edited in saying that any other expectation about relationships on top of that are entirely subjective. Which is a much clearer explanation.

    Just because you feel relationships have a certain importance, doesn't mean I have to feel the same. In fact, probably my main reason for not pursuing a relationship is because I feel that spending an hour here, two hours there, only at my whim, on my partner. Would be unfair to said partner. And they are better off finding someone else to be with. I'm pretty selfish I guess, but I'm not selfish enough to do something like that to someone. And I'm not willing to give up my career for a relationship.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #37
    defying your expectations SoraMayhem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Ehh, yeah, from an evolutionary point of view, all relationships are for is having sex and making babies. Also, you might find it sad, doesn't mean it is sad.
    Is this strictly true, though? Making the babies is useless if they don't survive. As @Salomé said earlier in the thread, we have a long gestation period, and our children are exceptionally vulnerable for a long period of time. Relationships are for making babies, yes, but also for raising them and making sure they survive so that they may have sex and make babies.
    4w5-1w2-5w4 -- RLUAI -- Chaotic Good/Neutral

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    Ask me about my crippling social dysfunction!

  8. #38
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raine_lynn View Post
    Is this strictly true, though? Making the babies is useless if they don't survive. As @Salomé said earlier in the thread, we have a long gestation period, and our children are exceptionally vulnerable for a long period of time. Relationships are for making babies, yes, but also for raising them and making sure they survive so that they may have sex and make babies.
    Which is just another reason I should not have a relationship. If I impregnated someone, they would be largely on their own due to the fact I would never be around.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #39
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Just because you feel relationships have a certain importance, doesn't mean I have to feel the same. In fact, probably my main reason for not pursuing a relationship is because I feel that spending an hour here, two hours there, only at my whim, on my partner. Would be unfair to said partner. And they are better off finding someone else to be with. I'm pretty selfish I guess, but I'm not selfish enough to do something like that to someone. And I'm not willing to give up my career for a relationship.
    I feel similarly about my personal circumstances. But that doesn't mean I discount entirely the value of men in my life. I enjoy their company and seek it out, and not just to "get rid of sexual feelings". They enrich my life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #40
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    I feel similarly about my personal circumstances. But that doesn't mean I discount entirely the value of men in my life. I enjoy their company and seek it out, and not just to "get rid of sexual feelings". They enrich my life.
    Hmm, right now with my brother hospitalized, I actually have quite a lot of free time (well, not entirely free, I am having phoneshifts 24/7, but phones can be forwarded to my cell. But since I can't do the work I always do and have to stay here, I feel like I have a lot of free time.). Right now sure, I wouldn't mind having a relationship and be with a woman to spend some time with. But the reality of it all is that this is not the kind of work I enjoy doing, and once my brother is back and takes on his work, I'll be driving around europe again, doing what I love doing. And most weeks, the little time I spend at home, is spent sleeping or winding down/procrastinating. There's very little time left for me to focus on having a partner in my life.

    Maybe that is sad, that the day only has 24 hours, but if I had a problem with that and felt I needed to be in a relationship to feel complete, I wouldn't be doing the work I am doing. So it's still my choice to be single, and the woman I would otherwise be paired with is better off because of it.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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