i'm also entirely open to the idea that your experience is worst then mine, so there's no sense of devaluing here for you to be concerned about. i am curious, would you say the sense of physical danger scared you more then the elements our experience shares? to what extent? and how, in itself? i do know it feels very lonely to feel defenseless in those situations even without being physically afraid, so i imagine it to be a combination of your own experiences like the army but without the sense of security stemming from your unit. also, did you find it difficult acknowledging that he is doing it while he is doing it too? constantly just making up excuses for him, not believing its really the person you love who could do that and just looking for what to blame like a bad job day and the economical situations? i used to do that all the time, and since i don't know myself to do that sort of thing it took me awhile to recognize it in myself, honestly not until a few months after the breakup, which was about 6 months ago in itself... how long until it started? how long did you stay once it did? mine only started that in the last 6 months... was yours a single parent? is there a sense of failure in not being able to take it to stay to protect the child? do you constantly have dreams about him hurting the child? what.. what do you do with those?
i'm sorry, i know you don't quite feel we share a similar experience, and i know you introverts do this differently, process more internally, but.. there's so much on the emotional spectrum i have a hard time making sense of. i just remember things and see that doormat of a man that is just.. not me. nobody who ever knew me in real life before i met her could believe that thats me.