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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    Oh no, early contact with other children turns your kid into an Fe user - talking about guilttripping mothers, what loving mother would want THAT for her child?
    no that's not it at all. There were tons of SFJs before the mid-20th century, when on average children stayed with the mother until 5 or 6, in some cultures up until 7 or 8.

    Daycare doesn't give you Fe. How absurd.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Well, it seems like kids that were always around more people when they were little, would have a higher chance of extroversion.
    hmm...but you can be around extended family, neighbors, friends, and religious group associates without going to a formal institution. Marx recommended this in the Communist Manifesto, that children should be away from their parents and families at a young age.

    It takes a village to a raise a child. Id just rather my child's village not being institutionally socialized until they've at least gotten out or toward the end of their critical formative years.

  3. #83
    Senior Member Elisius's Avatar
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    I had a very sheltered childhood. Lots of time with my own family, little time outside of that family group or away from my parents.
    I have terrible self esteem and hate my family.
    I think it depends very, VERY heavily on the child and the family around them.
    These types of issues are deep and complicated. One or two individuals anecdotes about how happy they were and how well them and their children have turned out are not scientific evidence and while these statements should be taken into consideration they should not be used solely to make a judgement on the issue.
    Personally, I think kids need to be around as many different kinds of people as possible, and they need to see as much of the world without the lens of their parents as possible. No human should be a clone of their parents, no matter how unloved their mom and dad may feel.

    As for breastfeeding, the older the better, improves immunity and bone health. No arguing there.
    A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    I think what the two mean is that Europeans tend to have less of a problem with breastfeeding as such, independent of an age limit which is altogether a different issue.
    That, and the cover picture. They just wouldn't be so shocked.

  5. #85
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    There have been several cases in the United States where children have been taken away from their mother's care because American courts or government agencies found the mother's extended breastfeeding to be inappropriate. In 1992, a New York State mother lost custody of her child for a year. She was still breastfeeding the child at age 3 and had reported experiences of sexual arousal while breastfeeding the child. The authorities took the child from the home in the fear that the mother might sexually abuse the child. Later, the social service agency that took over the case said that there was more to the case than could be released to the press due to confidentiality laws.[113] In 2000, an Illinois child was removed from the mother's care after a judge ruled that the child might suffer emotional damage because of not being weaned. The child was later returned to the mother and the judge vacated the finding of neglect.[113] A social service agency in Colorado removed a 5-year-old child from the mother because she was still breastfeeding, but the court ordered the child returned to its family immediately
    ---Wikipedia

    That's crazy.

  6. #86
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Well, it seems like kids that were always around more people when they were little, would have a higher chance of extroversion.
    The kids who were always around more people as youngsters might have been the ones who didn't get fussy when there were too many people around, or shy of strangers. I/E seem to be fairly hardwired.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elisius View Post
    I had a very sheltered childhood. Lots of time with my own family, little time outside of that family group or away from my parents.
    I have terrible self esteem and hate my family.
    I think it depends very, VERY heavily on the child and the family around them.
    These types of issues are deep and complicated. One or two individuals anecdotes about how happy they were and how well them and their children have turned out are not scientific evidence and while these statements should be taken into consideration they should not be used solely to make a judgement on the issue.
    Personally, I think kids need to be around as many different kinds of people as possible, and they need to see as much of the world without the lens of their parents as possible. No human should be a clone of their parents, no matter how unloved their mom and dad may feel.

    As for breastfeeding, the older the better, improves immunity and bone health. No arguing there.
    This uproar has been interesting, as it does much to illustrate how American culture is an "adolescent" culture. You have the societal hemming and hawing going on over the taboo display of the fetishized breast, even as it is being used in its most natural, non-sexual function. There is a consistent undercurrent of opposition based on children "needing to learn how to be independent;" i.e. individualized. You've got people who cite various medical authorities that call for early weaning (though this does not comply with the WHO's recommendation of breastfeeding until 2 years old), while declining to consider that the pharmaceutical companies who sponsor many of these efforts also produce formula. In many cases, there are concerns about the inconveniences it places on the mother, a rather self-centered approach in absence of other considerations (like the mother being the only breadwinner in the family).

    It's instructive to look at non-Western cultures when it comes to these sorts of issues. "Attachment parenting" is the norm and has been passed down from mother to daughter for millennia, though one of the nice things about the gender egalitarianism movement is that fathers are becoming more aware of how important it is for them to be close to their infants and very young children, and just as responsive as the mother (since she is only one person). The "village" concept, practiced essentially everywhere that isn't heavily Westernized, is that whenever the mother grew fatigued, there would always be another set of hands to take over while she rested, while the baby would remain close to other human beings.

    Understood is that the baby's needs come first, since it is utterly incapable of fending for itself or understanding how to respond to its internal needs. When the child's capable of symbolic language, that's when boundaries can be set, because not only can you explain that there is a boundary, but you can also explain why it is there.

  7. #87
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    and yet another reason that I don't want to have children... everyone has such strong opinions on child-rearing and I really have no patience with continually receiving unsolicited advice from others (one of my friend's complaints about having a kid... even strangers would walk up and tell her she was doing everything wrong )... seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?!?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #88
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    and yet another reason that I don't want to have children... everyone has such strong opinions on child-rearing and I really have no patience with continually receiving unsolicited advice from others (one of my friend's complaints about having a kid... even strangers would walk up and tell her she was doing everything wrong )... seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?!?
    I've never had anyone walk up and tell me I was doing anything wrong with my kids. Although people do comment about my kids. I wonder why people do that to her, are her kids a huge handful?

    People do make comments if my house is messy though. Not having kids wouldn't help with that Although I guess my house wouldn't be messy without them kids.

    I just can't imagine that being a reason not to have kids. People complain about everything other people are doing in life.

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    That's crazy.

  10. #90
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Maybe I'm a little old school.. but I think kids are babied too long as is. Children have a luxury now-a-days of being a child longer than they used to be, especially in developed countries.. You can be attached, and loving, and still teach your child independence from an early age. Too many adults have issues with things like being alone, and feeling abandoned, and being too dependent on others.. and its something that plagues them for way too long.. and my personal opinion is that many of the things we do in adulthood stem from our childhood.
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