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  1. #61
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Just be in tune and don't be a dick to them, and they'll be fine.
    Exactly.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
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  2. #62
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    [*]Didn't circumcise my son. Don't think it's necessary but not harmful enough to warrant preaching about it.[*][/LIST]
    I like, and agree with most of your post, except this. If you had seen one, you might feel differently. I think all parents should be made to watch.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXVFF....0.YaZlcYYGmPM

    I think this is worthy of preaching against.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  3. #63
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I think some of the things are nice, too. But there's no way I'd do a lot of them.

    -Natural childbirth? Not for me. I want to be in the hospital, and I'll take the meds please! In fact I'd prefer to schedule a c-section, but might not got that route.
    -Yes, I will breastfeed. But it's mainly an issue of economy for me. Why pay for formula if my body will naturally produce milk?
    -I'm not sure how I'd feel about being a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I think I would like it, but sometimes I think I would miss my work. Ideally I'd like to work part time, but that probably won't be financially feasible.
    -I don't think we'd co-sleep, mainly because I am a pretty thrashy sleeper and I'd be afraid of injuring or smothering the baby in my sleep. But I would like to keep the crib in our bedroom for at least the first few months.
    -I'll probably do a fair amount of babywearing. Not all the time, but I definitely see it as practical for some situations.
    -I actually have considered the idea of homeschool, because I don't like the way some things are taught (or not taught) in public schools. For the sake of practicality and socialization, I don't think I would actually homeschool, but I'd have to provide some sort of supplemental curriculum. I would not consider sending my kid to a private school.
    -I typically try to use as much unprocessed food as possible, but not specifically organic/local. If it's available and not exorbitantly expensive, great. If not, that's fine too. I'm a supporter of vaccines.
    -I don't think circumcision is necessary and probably won't do it if I have a son.
    I don't have a problem with whatever anyone does, as long as they're not being dicks to their kids or letting the kids run the asylum. I don't like it when people are dicks to their kids, and nobody is served by not teaching kids how to behave (which can be done without being a dick). As long as you're kind and firm, I could not care less where everyone sleeps or how long you breastfed. I'm very enthusiastic about breastfeeding but I do not make it my business to tell people they SHOULD be doing it. But if they want to, and they need help, I am your lady!

  4. #64
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    And another interesting point.

    Why is it normal to drink milk made for a cow's baby but it's gross to drink milk made for a human baby? I had cow's milk on my cereal and in my coffee this morning.

    I think using human milk would make a lot more sense.

    http://www.good.is/post/genetically-...ce-human-milk/

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Lol. "They" do not. "They" advocate letting your child self-wean, as all children will do, which is ALMOST ALWAYS done by 3 or so. My daughter was 3.5, my son was 2.5 (though I wouldn't call his a "self-weaning" exactly- I initiated it but I did it gently and over time).
    Why so hostile? I'm not a mother. I heard about this on a short news segment.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  5. #65
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    And another interesting point.

    Why is it normal to drink milk made for a cow's baby but it's gross to drink milk made for a human baby? I had cow's milk on my cereal and in my coffee this morning.

    I think using human milk would make a lot more sense.


    Went to look up 'men who like breastmilk' and stumbled across this gem....lol on the woman in the red bathtub. And, is it just me, or do you find an odd sense of arousal when dad first puts baby to his breast?

    [YOUTUBE="DiXp_See_Bs"]If I have another baby, I'd def be down with this. <3[/YOUTUBE]
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  6. #66
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    I always wonder what the next piece of bullshit will be that misuses attachment theory.

    Attachment styles are created in early life by a baby's first relationship, the brain patterns this earliest relationship on itself, its a combination of nurture (or its lack) and nature to try and increase the survival prospects of the child. Its generally pre-verbal and what you're doing as late as age three is less significant, although between the age of 0-5 are probably the most crucial years.

    If your carer is cold, rejecting or a source of fear attachment styles can be ambivalent, avoidant or disorganised. Ambivalent and avoidant styles are more common than a disorganised attachment and result in people being compliant, trying to reduce the stress of their carer and therefore their own stress (ambivalent), or withdrawn into themselves (avoidant). Either of those styles can create further difficulties because a parent could attempt to over compensate or overcome the freezing or indifference associated with each style by really "in your face" manhandling overstimulation of a child, that can be emotionally overwhelming or troubling, I would say that sort of reaction from someone can be emotionally overwhelming, draining or troubling anyway for an adult but at a much earlier age and stage of development its positively damaging. How can a child develop self-soothing and self-regulation of their emotional state when they are attending to that of their carer? That said its not as common as disorganised attachment (although its unfortunately on the rise) which, depending on its severity, can be variously described as rejection trauma, complex trauma and leaves those experiencing it with serious baggage and little in the way of prospects for spontaneous development of proper attunement to others.

    This is an excellent theory for analysising the impact of neglectful and emotionally abusive parenting styles or the impact of seperation anxiety and loss upon developing minds, although most parents are at the very least "good enough" parenting, even if children have ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles the acquiring of competence and skills, positive attachments later in life are all likely to mitigate any and all harm or difficulty later in life. There's even been suggestions that a good marriage can correct any attachment difficulties. Some attachment theorising linked with Adler's inferiority complex theories suggest that attachment difficulties can lead to striving for mastery, creativity or imaginative talent, the old artists working out their trauma thing.

    I dont think there's any need for anything like these radical parenting approaches, although maybe they reflect the needs of the parents more than the children.

  7. #67
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    fwiw. My daughter nursed until she was 4.5 years old. Therefore I nursed her and her baby/toddler brother at the same time.

    My boyz were all 2-3 when they were weaned. She refused to wean as easily. Sometimes it happens.

    I blame it on her ISTJ nature.
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  8. #68
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    There's nothing radical about nursing and carrying babies and young children. And people have been bedsharing for a lot longer than we've all had our own separate bedrooms. I don't think these things are at all necessary for good parenting and I don't like it when people get weird and dogmatic about them, but I also don't like seeing normal parenting practices that have been going on for 99% of human history maligned as "radical."

  9. #69
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Attachment parenting . . . because facebooking and neckbearding are so last year.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #70
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    By the way, about the cover: I don't like it. It's sensationalism and exploitation and it doesn't really illustrate my experience as a so-called "attachment parent." I nursed my children as long as she did, but by that age it was mostly a night time/first thing in the morning thing, not a nutrition thing, and definitely always at home. My kids were learning about privacy and private parts by that age.
    Yep, pretty much had the same experience here. All of mine weaned between 3 and 4 and by that time, it was a nightime/wake-up or when very sick.

    That cover, well, it's getting the results that were aimed for. Just another issue that people will get all excited about that really doesn't have anything to do with them personally.

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