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  1. #51
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I don't think anyone is a bad mother for believing that formula is good enough. That's why I want people to know the truth. Women should know that it's important to breastfeed.

    If people said you don't have to feed veggies to kids because fake veggies are just as good people might stand up and say that's not right.

    The parents who don't want to cut up the veggies cause the slab of fake veggies is easier or more convenient to feed aren't bad parents but they do need to realize that the real veggies are way healthier.

    "oh mah gawd stop telling me real veggies are better, I want to feed my kid slab-a-veggies, don't judge!!!"

  2. #52
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Haven't read the thread.

    Only have one thing to say...

    Those kids are way to old to be breast feeding, go play with some GI Joes or something.
    Why? I only nursed to 18 months but I still don't see reasons other than comfort in how it looks.

  3. #53
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Haven't read the thread.

    Only have one thing to say...

    Those kids are way to old to be breast feeding, go play with some GI Joes or something.
    lol. As usual, thanks for breezing in with your very informed and relevant opinion.

  4. #54
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    My issue is with unhealthy attachment issues and lack of independence.

    I would like to sit back and leg my kid play outside and develop a strong internal locus of control.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    lol. As usual, thanks for breezing in with your very informed and relevant opinion.
    *eyeroll*

  5. #55
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I don't think anyone is a bad mother for believing that formula is good enough. That's why I want people to know the truth. Women should know that it's important to breastfeed.

    If people said you don't have to feed veggies to kids because fake veggies are just as good people might stand up and say that's not right.

    The parents who don't want to cut up the veggies cause the slab of fake veggies is easier or more convenient to feed aren't bad parents but they do need to realize that the real veggies are way healthier.

    "oh mah gawd stop telling me real veggies are better, I want to feed my kid slab-a-veggies, don't judge!!!"
    Okay, I don't know what you mean by fake veggies, but assuming you mean canned or dried or something and not plastic, then yeah, I would be opposed to that kind of judgement. It's precisely this attitude that gets my goat. It's not so much on an individual level, though. It's fine if that's your opinion and you voice it, whatever. But when it's on a societal level, there is so much societal pressure to conform to this ONE way of doing things, even though there are other ways that are fine, and that's what I have a problem with.

    I'm about done with the discussion on breastfeeding; I've made my point and I don't feel the need to continue repeating it. But the OP also mentioned attachment parenting in general:

    From Wikipedia:
    Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:

    Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
    Feed with Love and Respect
    Respond with Sensitivity
    Use Nurturing Touch
    Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
    Provide Consistent Loving Care
    Practice Positive Discipline
    Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

    These values are interpreted in a variety of ways. Many attachment parents also choose to live a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle, such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, natural health, cooperative movements, naturism and support of organic and local foods.

    However, Dr. Sears does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules, instead encouraging parents to be creative in responding to their child's needs. Attachment parenting, outside the guise of Dr. Sears, focuses on responses that support secure attachments.
    I'm interested to hear how people feel about the rest of these ideas and whether they are integral to good parenting.
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  6. #56
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I absolutely refuse to tell a parent how to raise his or her kid, because frankly it's none of my god damn business and that includes breast feeding or not breast feeding.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #57
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I think Dr. Sears is a misogynist and crappy in a lot of other ways besides, but I did many of those things with my kids. I think they're nice things. Not totally essential things, and as long as people are good to their kids I don't care if they don't do these specific things, but I do think many/most of them are nice nice things.

    • I had one completely natural childbirth outside the hospital (in a freestanding birth center), and one that was as natural as I could make it considering I had to be induced in the hospital.
    • Breastfed exclusively for like 7-8 months, then introduced real food, and let them keep nursing in addition to eating real food for as long as they wanted (except I had to nudge the second one a little to stop, for various reasons).
    • I did stay home with my kids but I worked as a childcare provider. I don't have any problem with working mothers at all, I probably would have been one if I had done career first then kids, but I did it the other way around and started my career proper when the second one was old enough for preschool.
    • We co-slept with both of our children when they were very small babies. The first one was in our bed for a couple of years, the second one we moved out pretty early on because he wasn't sleeping well in the family bed arrangement (thus defeating the purpose of it entirely). He was a difficult sleeper though- would not sleep on his back for anything, so he slept sitting up in a swing for a couple of months, then as soon as he could reliably turn himself over the pediatrician said it would be okay if he slept on his stomach.
    • I loved the shit out of some babywearing. I had like a million different carriers- slings, tie-on wraps, a big frame backpack for hiking (almost never used it, the tie-on was a lot more convenient). Just loved carrying them. To this day, toting a little fatty cherub around on one hip is what I miss most about having a baby.
    • Never considered homeschool, will never consider it. Totally supportive of homeschooling families as long as they're not isolationist weirdos.
    • Big fan of natural health, big fan of local/organic foods, but also big fan of not dying from shit that we can prevent with vaccines. Dr. Sears sucks about vaccines IMO.
    • Didn't circumcise my son. Don't think it's necessary but not harmful enough to warrant preaching about it.
    • I don't really know what "naturism" means in this context. I'm not a Druid though.

  8. #58
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Breastfeeding isn't attachment theory.

    It's natural, just like pregnancy. That's exactly my point.

    Why is it lumped in with Dr. Sears? He really has nothing to do with it at all. Natural milk is better than chemicals.

    I think formula is helpful when it's needed, my nephew had to have it because of his suck reflex not working since he was born so early. (toxemia) My ssister tried really hard to nurse him. She could have tried pumping but it was her first baby so it just wasn't working. It's good they are still trying to make formula better.

    On the other hand formula feeding has actually hurt developing countries where women feel it's "progressive" to feed with formula (like it used to be here) so there is a huge push to educate women. I see breastfeeding as a very serious issue, it's not really just a "whatever you want" kind of issue. http://www.unicef.org/nutrition/index_24824.html

    There has been so much work over the years to get breastfeeding to be "normal" again.

  9. #59
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    That's true Elaur, but even so- breastfeeding for longer than a year IS kind of different since there's no formula involved then. But whether breastfeeding is a part of it or not, I really hate the term "attachment parenting" honestly, even though it was what I did (not because I wanted to "do attachment parenting," it was just how I was raised, and then they came up with a name for it around the time I started my family). I hate the idea that there is this package of things you have to do, a checklist, to be "attached" to your kids. I call bullshit. Just be in tune and don't be a dick to them, and they'll be fine.

  10. #60
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    I think some of the things are nice, too. But there's no way I'd do a lot of them.

    -Natural childbirth? Not for me. I want to be in the hospital, and I'll take the meds please! In fact I'd prefer to schedule a c-section, but might not got that route.
    -Yes, I will breastfeed. But it's mainly an issue of economy for me. Why pay for formula if my body will naturally produce milk?
    -I'm not sure how I'd feel about being a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I think I would like it, but sometimes I think I would miss my work. Ideally I'd like to work part time, but that probably won't be financially feasible.
    -I don't think we'd co-sleep, mainly because I am a pretty thrashy sleeper and I'd be afraid of injuring or smothering the baby in my sleep. But I would like to keep the crib in our bedroom for at least the first few months.
    -I'll probably do a fair amount of babywearing. Not all the time, but I definitely see it as practical for some situations.
    -I actually have considered the idea of homeschool, because I don't like the way some things are taught (or not taught) in public schools. For the sake of practicality and socialization, I don't think I would actually homeschool, but I'd have to provide some sort of supplemental curriculum. I would not consider sending my kid to a private school.
    -I typically try to use as much unprocessed food as possible, but not specifically organic/local. If it's available and not exorbitantly expensive, great. If not, that's fine too. I'm a supporter of vaccines.
    -I don't think circumcision is necessary and probably won't do it if I have a son.
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