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  1. #31
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Er... Regardless of the gender, I'm pretty sure a teacher getting laid with an underage student is statutory rape. Can you really say, in all cases, "Oh, he's a guy, so he won't be traumatized or feel abused in any way"?
    Did I actually say any of the words you just put in my mouth?

    We're on two different topics here -- I'm describing basic needs psychology, you're describing penal code. I think if a boy didn't want sex or was looking for something else, and someone swinangled him into sex and used him, then yes, he'd feel violated. Would you really think I'd feel otherwise?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Eggzactly.
    On a side note, I doubt that these underage guys banging hot teachers feel used. I mean, do you know how hard it is for a 15-year guy to get laid? At his age, the few girls that are already screwing around go for older guys. The ones younger than him are a bit too young. It sucks.
    It may be true in many cases that they are just glad they're getting sex, but if they have mommy issues they could actually be quite hurt by such an affair.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Ahhh...yes and no. I agree with you and Jennifer both. Girls do tend to look for personal affirmation/emotional affirmation (it may be because our obscene levels of oxytocin unfortunately not as easily blocked by testosterone) while boys, because of these testosterone levels, can indeed detach emotionally and simply be stroking their ego with sexual conquests.

    Of course, this isn't applicable in all cases, and I think even in relationships where the guy is much younger he should have the legal status of being 18 and free to vote, go to war, get married, be sent to real prison, buy cigarettes and live on his own et al (but strangely not be able to drink a glass of wine in public) because otherwise there is first of all A LEGAL SOCIAL POWER IMBALANCE ...and also simply because he's probably not sexually mature.

    And younger guys can be vulnerable, I know, I don't think it's fair to want to rip a teenaged boy to shreds just because he's male, that's evil and wrong and stupid.
    Wasn't the oxytocin thing a myth? I remember reading so somewhere, but I could be wildly off the mark...

    I'm sorry if I got a bit passionate there, Marm - I just hate the whole "heeeey, you got lucky, man! " thing. To me, it's the male equivalent of "were you wearing a miniskirt?".

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Did I actually say any of the words you just put in my mouth?

    We're on two different topics here -- I'm describing basic needs psychology, you're describing penal code. I think if a boy didn't want sex or was looking for something else, and someone swinangled him into sex and used him, then yes, he'd feel violated. Would you really think I'd feel otherwise?
    Aw geez, sorry, Jen! I think I ended up interpreting what you said as a sort of "well, yeah, but they want it" argument. Stupid, I know.

    My sincerest apologies.
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Wasn't the oxytocin thing a myth? I remember reading so somewhere, but I could be wildly off the mark...

    I'm sorry if I got a bit passionate there, Marm - I just hate the whole "heeeey, you got lucky, man! " thing. To me, it's the male equivalent of "were you wearing a miniskirt?".
    RULE NUMBER ONE: NEVER APOLOGIZE TO MARM FOR BEING PASSIONATE. BE PASSIONATE. LIVE GODDAMMIT.

    No, the oxytocin thing is not a myth. However, what *is* mythological is that men are all flooded with such high levels of testosterone that they aren't affected by oxytocin at all. It's actually a small percentage of men who are truly just...dogs. I mean, those guys do exist, they are truly puzzled by why people attach feelings to sex, there was this ENTP guy on another forum who constantly voiced this kind of thinking on another forum. Those guys *are* out there.

    But the average guy I think just warms up a little more slowly than the average woman, emotionally speaking. Apparently it helps for a man to cuddle or kiss or spend close time with a woman *outside of sex* to re-inforce more of an oxytocin bond, while women can confuse love and sex quite easily in some cases, especially while young and inexperienced.

  5. #35
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Judging from all these headlines 'xy fired because of x and y' one could really think you were a socialist country
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #36
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Judging from all these headlines 'xy fired because of x and y' one could really think you were a socialist country
    I just have to say this is a win comment in my opinion. Oh and, is she takes this to court we will hear more. Or see more, not sure.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    RULE NUMBER ONE: NEVER APOLOGIZE TO MARM FOR BEING PASSIONATE. BE PASSIONATE. LIVE GODDAMMIT.

    No, the oxytocin thing is not a myth. However, what *is* mythological is that men are all flooded with such high levels of testosterone that they aren't affected by oxytocin at all. It's actually a small percentage of men who are truly just...dogs. I mean, those guys do exist, they are truly puzzled by why people attach feelings to sex, there was this ENTP guy on another forum who constantly voiced this kind of thinking on another forum. Those guys *are* out there.

    But the average guy I think just warms up a little more slowly than the average woman, emotionally speaking. Apparently it helps for a man to cuddle or kiss or spend close time with a woman *outside of sex* to re-inforce more of an oxytocin bond, while women can confuse love and sex quite easily in some cases, especially while young and inexperienced.


    About the oxytocin thing: I asked because I have heard that argument touted before as basis for why women who sleep around eventually become less able to form emotional bonds over time.

    Another “risk” is this amorphous conglomeration of emotional issues that people–fine, let’s be honest, women–apparently face if they have casual sex. In her amazing book What You Really Really Want, Jaclyn Friedman writes:

    "You may have heard about oxytocin. It’s a chemical that is often released during sexual stimulation. Some studies have shown that when we release oxytocin, it can intensify the feelings (both positive and negative) we have about the person we’re having sex with. Unfortunately, this chemical response has been warped into an argument by abstinence-until-marriage advocates and other social conservatives, who claim that because of this bond, women get hurt by casual sex more than men. And the argument goes further, claimed that if women form an oxytocin bond with too many people, the effect will wear off and they’ll find themselves unable to bond properly with anyone.

    Please."

    Friedman goes on to cite studies that show that, first of all, it’s too little oxytocin that causes problems, not too much. She also cites research showing that oxytocin is also produced in many other situations, such as playing games, petting dogs, singing in groups, yoga, talking with close friends, and even eating certain foods.

    As far as I and other sex-positive writers have been able to find, there is no research actually showing that casual sex is intrinsically harmful.
    Slut shaming, with SCIENCE!

    Thanks for the info!
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  8. #38
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Aw geez, sorry, Jen! I think I ended up interpreting what you said as a sort of "well, yeah, but they want it" argument. Stupid, I know.

    My sincerest apologies.
    NP. it was also late and I was in a pretty cut-and-dried mode... meh, I'm getting blunter as the days carry on...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #39
    Senior Member Munchies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    @Munchies I bet the parents would be even more afraid of her being around a younger group

    @Jennifer might the girls not be jealous of the teacher for the attention she gets from the boys?
    Well i just said it because the younger group wouldn't know; it's not like she's a sexual predator. But this topic is way more complicated on a whole bunch of perspectives. i jsut hope everything plays out fair. whatever fair is lmao I just sympathize for the teacher kind of because that's a shittay situation
    1+1=3 OMFG

  10. #40
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    We have that right, as long as she didn't merely groom a 15-year-old boy to be her love slave and dump her husband and kids. (Then, of course, their love would be too pure for us to sully.)
    I see what you did there


    To the OP: I think this is less about ethics than it is reputation. I just don't think this particular school wants to be known as that school that has the porn star for the teacher.

    T'were I a student at this illustrious educational facility I would find her background to be a tad distracting...but only slightly more so than the other hot teachers I was a student of. It might actually make me really curious and want to get to her know more on a emotional level: Who she was, why she made the choices she did, what did she learn from everything, etc..

    You're on your own to figure that one out.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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