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  1. #51
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    Sweeping mopping what ever. Anyways, dont piss your pants if you dont want to be washing your pants all the time. Same goes with shoes and floor. Instead of sweeping the floor all the time, it would be wiser to not to get dirt on the floor, so teach the kids to take off their shoes and if you are too lazy to do it yourself, clean your own shit from the floor. Same goes for kitchen counters, who ever gets them dirty should clean them up. Imo its the parents job to be sure that kid has food and clothes. If it feels too much of a job to keep your kids clothes clean, buy a bigger washing machine, so that you dont have to do an extra round with the washing machine. If some clothing sis only used for few hours, that doesent mean that you have to wash them as soon as they come off, so changing clothes multiple times a day, doesent mean any extra laundry.
    All of those rules would be hard for me to remember and could feel equally strict to the 15 minute chore routine outlined in this scenario. Doing your own laundry with fit with your philosophy here of cleaning up your own messes, and yet you reject that part of it. Why is that different from cleaning up the counter you make a mess on?

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    When it comes to the punishment, that was way too harsh, especially since he kinda asked for it for being such a strict son of a bitch.
    His ending was inappropriate because of the implications of using a gun. Taking her computer away would be reasonable though especially after spending a lot of time and money on it to make it work for her. That takes a lot more effort than doing "3minute" sweeping of a room. I would take the computer away for her act. No one has the "right" teenager or otherwise to treat people like shit.

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    When it comes to telling your kid to get a job to get anything extra is just wrong, the kids job at that age is to go to school. Naturally its different if the kid wants unneccesary amounts of stuff.
    I think this part is a reaction to her wanting to be paid to do chores. She wants money to buy extra stuff beyond the computers and iphones and clothes that her parents buy her. It sounds like she has a lot of technology and isn't deprived of much, but still wants money, so I think you describe it accurately here.

    You are assuming he is always strict and we don't have that information. Actually in his "apology" there are hints of him being primarily indulgent with his kids until it gets out of control. His "95% of the time she is [adjectives implying perfect] suggests to me that it is the percentage of the time she is treated with kid gloves and nurtured her feelings of entitlement. He has a list of chores, but we don't know if or how he enforces those.

    Doing your own laundry especially as a young woman is pragmatic because often time girly clothes need special instructions and others can ruin them. The chores don't sound so bad to me. In a household with half-grown children it would seem enabling for the parents to earn all the money and do all the work. Maybe in some cultures kids get to just go to school, but that is a luxury most cannot afford. At least she's not homeschooled so she can work the farm 20 hours a week like some. I went to a farm-based high school and worked 20 hours a week on top of school.

    I've worked with kids in highly controlling families and this is not how they act - at least when the control is heavy and consistent. Her action require some level of indulgence in order to take place. She has to be coddled quite a bit to have the level of expectations she has. Really high-control families are more often very secretive, unlikely to even have internet, and the kids are really high strung and serious, sometimes becoming very controlling with their younger siblings.
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  2. #52
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xyk View Post
    Also, being 15 IS hard. Adults don't usually remember that.
    it's hard on everyone in the family, and it's right in the middle of that time when parents are trying to figure out how to step back and "let go" so a child can assume adulthood, while the child often feels like s/he is ready for adult privilege before truly accepting the responsibility that comes with that. Then there's also the realization a child is in their formative years and really trying to figure themselves out -- who they are, what they want to do professionally later, their romantic interests, which people are worth being friends with -- coupled with the physical puberty occurring.

    Sometimes I feel like it's a major accomplishment just for a family to keep all of its members alive and at least in communication with each other until the age is past and things finally settle down into reasonable, maintainable patterns.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #53
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Welp, this story just broke on the front page of Yahoo.com today, so... I guess if there's anything more for anyone to add, we'll hear about it soon!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #54
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I think he's doing the cleaning lady.

  5. #55
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I think he's doing the cleaning lady.
    :P

  6. #56
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I can understand his outrage at her snotty attitude, but I also know that 15 yos say all manner of snotty things because they have NO grasp of what real life is like. They have undeveloped brains, immature responses, compulsive issues, a lack of experience, and are generally floating in hormones, so even a mature and controlled 15 yo is bound to trip up at some point.

    Hannah does sound pretty sullen and her nasty poutfest has gone viral, along with her father's overreaction. I say overreaction because anything that involves a gun outside of hunting, to me, is a real toss up as far as "control" is concerned. It was his right to punish her as he saw fit within the limits of the law and common decency, and as her parent who paid for the thing, he was free to take away her computer. You earn that -it's not a divine right, which Hannah seems to think she was entitled.

    Someone had suggested that he could have donated her computer to charity. Much better than putting bullets in it.
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  7. #57

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    It's interesting that, amidst all the public backlash, he has been saying things like, "she's a really great kid, I'm proud of her 95% of the time, but it was just this once instance blah blah blah."

    What I feel like is happening here is that he knows deep down that he overreacted dramatically and publicly (like, in my opinion, a bad father), but he's trying to convince himself and the world that he was really acting with her best interests in mind and that he perhaps regrets doing this because it's brought what wasn't a very big deal and would probably only be fully understood by family members to the attention of a shit-load of people.

    You can't convince me that he was acting in her best interest. If that were the case, everything would have been considerably more thought out, there would have been no guns needed to make a point and he wouldn't have been talking with such a shaky, I'm-about-to-go-out-of-control voice.

    No, this was just a selfish lash of anger and not a real attempt to school his child. Very immature.

  8. #58
    Ginkgo
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    Ambivalent. The way I see it, he's trying to clean up his own mess by reminding his daughter of reality. It makes her parents look foolish when she uses what they gave her to stab them in the back. It makes her look out of control; I can only imagine what it feels like to be a parent who feels the weight of being responsible for what may lash out at you. I don't think the guy was comfortable making the video, nor do I think he thought his actions out very deeply. I think he feels like he's losing his grip on his daughter and doesn't know how to handle it responsibly.

    That said, a man has every right to put a few rounds in his own computer on his own time.

  9. #59
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegorystory View Post
    It's interesting that, amidst all the public backlash, he has been saying things like, "she's a really great kid, I'm proud of her 95% of the time, but it was just this once instance blah blah blah."

    What I feel like is happening here is that he knows deep down that he overreacted dramatically and publicly (like, in my opinion, a bad father), but he's trying to convince himself and the world that he was really acting with her best interests in mind and that he perhaps regrets doing this because it's brought what wasn't a very big deal and would probably only be fully understood by family members to the attention of a shit-load of people.

    You can't convince me that he was acting in her best interest. If that were the case, everything would have been considerably more thought out, there would have been no guns needed to make a point and he wouldn't have been talking with such a shaky, I'm-about-to-go-out-of-control voice.

    No, this was just a selfish lash of anger and not a real attempt to school his child. Very immature.
    Exactly. That's why I said he strikes me as, if not a full blown narcissist, then at least someone with narcissistic tendencies. This was purely about him and his ego.
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  10. #60
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    Im glad I skipped my teenage years...err...wait, does that mean I am gonna experience them when I am old?
    Im out, its been fun

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