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  1. #81
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I don't deny, the nature of a few are beyond nurture.


    That's correct, she's 23. I saw her on the local Texas news talking about her dear Dad and she doesn't sound fine. She sounds immature, self-righteous, resentful (about current family issues), and vengeful. Under the circumstances, I think it's bad bull the way she's playin the victim card years after the fact and in the heat of a fight with her family about something non-related.


    I don't have any kids, but obviously I used to be one. I was a handful: hard-headed, and curiously all over the place. After a couple of good old fashioned whippin's with a cowboy belt, I was the poster child for good behavior. It's only because I felt the painful consequence of disobedience that I remembered the rules, for I am beyond the rules.

    I am proud of my parents for being brave and strong and not catering to me when I didn’t deserve it. I felt loved and secure in a place like that despite my natural tendency to find a worm hole out of tight spaces. I resorted to the fact that there was no way out and the rules were going to work for me.

    When I started playing within the rules, indeed they did work for me! I had a lot of freedom and reward by the time I got to high-school. And eventually, a nice car! No way was I going to risk losing my parent's trust or ruin a sweet deal like that by breaking rules.

    I think the belt prepared me for the real world by forcing me to learn social graces that make for positive interactions and healthy relationships; despite any natural tendencies to do less. -laughs- Not only do I respect others, I respect myself, which means I don't tolerate it well when people treat me poorly.
    Is this a joke? My parents believed the same shit, and I resent the hell out of them. Whenever we were beaten, we'd just continue to do the offending action behind their backs. It was not effective, and when we got older we'd gang beat my father if he tried to come after any one of us. What a sick way to live. I honestly would not dare beat my children. It's nothing but a recipe for either (1) producing overly obedient children with low self-esteem and a high tolerance for abuse, or (2) producing overly rebellious children with antisocial tendencies and a big "fuck you, mom and dad" attitude. And for good reason.
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  2. #82
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Yes, I do. The past is the past. Focus on the horizon and trust God that ALL THINGS will work together for good.
    I hate to break the news, but, everyone is not you, and everyone doesn't have your situation. It's easy to say from the comforts of your own life.
    Sometimes it can be akin to saying that starving African people should just trust in God lol, because the past is just the past. They're sick and hungry today. The effects of abuse usually last in some form, for a lifetime. According to the mother and to her, this was not a one-off incident and it happened regularly. This guy was a dangerous alcoholic. Actions like what I saw are the ones that produce people with personality disorders. She's lucky if she is not an alcoholic herself, and has serious personality disturbances. She will be one of the rare few if she ever totally overcomes it.

    This is definitely not a situation which should be minimized.
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  3. #83
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I don't have any kids, but obviously I used to be one. I was a handful: hard-headed, and curiously all over the place. After a couple of good old fashioned whippin's with a cowboy belt, I was the poster child for good behavior. It's only because I felt the painful consequence of disobedience that I remembered the rules, for I am beyond the rules.
    That's all well and good, but you do realize that not everyone is the same as you?

    My dad is an ESTP; and because he was a hellion growing up and always tried to get away with crap with his ISTJ dad, he treated me as if I were exactly like him... and it really screwed me up. I was actually a "good kid" in the sense I wanted to be liked and please others and fit in, and I didn't try to do things wrong just to buck the system like he did. I also tried to buck up under my own problems and not complain/tattle. yet the few times I would come from school after being bullied, he would immediately say, "What did you do to deserve this?" and was always cynical of any time that I asked for help when I was at wit's end. Or he would just assume I was trying to scam him somehow... because that is what HE would have done when he was my age.

    It ruined my relationship with him; I never could trust him to be there, to listen, or to provide good counsel. In fact, all it taught me was shame and it took me years even into adulthood to get through it, to realize there WERE people who wouldn't automatically assume I was trying to scam them, that I could actually rely on others. I was very much a doormat, dismissed my own feelings as irrelevant, accepted abuse from others because I was taught it was always my fault even when it wasn't.

    So yes, fine, maybe you were the kid that needed to be strapped because she was too cocky for her own good, but that certainly is not run of the mill. Kids come in varieties; and typically behavior like the father's that I saw in that video leads to fucked-up kids, not kids who got "set straight." usually that kind of "discipline" just breaks the kid; only a very specific type responds to it.

    The ironic thing is that, even if I were to drop back into "religious" mode, people at the fairly conservative churches would be shocked by that video and deem it abuse. So it's not even like mainstream conservative chuch would approve of whipping a girl with a belt in anger as some sort of proper expression of parental authority.


    I am proud of my parents for being brave and strong and not catering to me when I didn’t deserve it. I felt loved and secure in a place like that despite my natural tendency to find a worm hole out of tight spaces. I resorted to the fact that there was no way out and the rules were going to work for me.

    When I started playing within the rules, indeed they did work for me! I had a lot of freedom and reward by the time I got to high-school. And eventually, a nice car! No way was I going to risk losing my parent's trust or ruin a sweet deal like that by breaking rules.
    So you were taught to comply with the rules to get things you wanted.

    Anything higher than that?

    I think the belt prepared me for the real world by forcing me to learn social graces that make for positive interactions and healthy relationships; despite any natural tendencies to do less. -laughs- Not only do I respect others, I respect myself, which means I don't tolerate it well when people treat me poorly.
    Yesk, you tend to respond aggressively in situations where it might not be warranted. Then again, i suppose that makes sense, if your parents taught you aggression. You learned what they taught.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Yes, I do. The past is the past. Focus on the horizon and trust God that ALL THINGS will work together for good.
    Which is funny. I agree with some of this. And I was saved when I was five and spent a lifetime dealing with faith issues.

    What I learned is that (1) I can't wait to be saved by someone else, I'm expected to bust my butt, make decisions, take responsibility, and change my life. If I don't, I might not survive. (2) The rain falls on the just and unjust alike, and the sun shines on the same. Tell the Jews and other religious martyrs in WWII that all things work together for them and their families. Tell that to the Congo victims, including women and children, who have been raped and butchered and exterminated simply because they exist, by other violent warring tribal factions. These are only two obvious examples; I couldn't possibly list ALL the people who are abused or slain by the system.

    Sometimes it doesn't work together for good, sometimes you just get chewed up by life and spat out the other end with nothing to show for it except in how you lived, if anyone remembers.

    Lots of abused kids never get to see the silver lining in the stormcloud, they just get fried by the lightning. I think we'll save a lot more lives by intervening in such situations, thank you very much, rather than just ignoring it and expecting somehow everything to just end up being "all better" at the end.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #84
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    So you were taught to comply with the rules to get things you wanted.
    Yea, it seems as if the material things (the car) are being held with much precedence, here. Do people still act "under their parents rule" at 23, in order to gain material goods? I would think by that point that they had broken away, and are acting for themselves, not selling their souls for cars or material goods.

    I think some people are assuming that she did this as an act of revenge because he was taking away the car, as the father said. I don't assume that. If she really wanted the car and viewed it with most-importance, it looks like she wouldn't ruin her chances by acting up further. I don't think she gives a crap about the car, at this point. There are more important issues at hand.

    All the cars in the world do not lessen the effects of physical and emotional abuse.

    My mother tried that shit on me when I got older. She bought me a car, and said she would pay for the insurance. It was nothing but a scam, because then, if I did anything she didn't like, she would threaten taking the car or the insurance. It's just a way to exert control. I told her she could take the car and stuff it up her ass. Looks like she did the same thing. Good for her. Nice breakaway.
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  5. #85
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    Well, this should give the media something to bitch about all weekend, lol. Maybe even through next week!

    http://news.yahoo.com/police-judge-w...044701682.html

    A Texas family law judge whose daughter secretly videotaped him savagely beating her seven years ago won't face criminal charges because too much time has elapsed, police said Thursday.

    Aransas County Court-at-Law Judge William Adams likely would have been charged with causing injury to a child or other assault-related offenses for the 2004 beating of his then-16-year-old daughter, but the five-year statutes of limitations expired, Rockport Police Chief Tim Jayroe said.

    "We believe that there was a criminal offense involved and that there was substantial evidence to indicate that and under normal circumstances ... a charge could have been made," Jayroe said. He said the district attorney determined he couldn't bring charges, and that police would discuss the case with federal prosecutors even though he doesn't believe federal charges would apply...
    Don't worry, though, I'm sure some publisher will put out a book by her [ghostwriter] about her life. America eats this stuff up.

    Bad family dynamics perpetuates. It took me years to get out of the cycle of mine. *shrug*
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #86
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    Actually, reading @nerdvana 's post, I take everything back. Maybe some kids should get their *** taught a lesson. I just remembered what happened last week - I was on an airport shuttle, sitting at the back, and a 16-17 year old sat a few seats up, alone.

    He caught me cramming a candy bar wrapper I just finished into the crevice between the seat & the wall. And kept looking at me, smirking. I checked to make sure there wasn't food on my face or anything, nope.

    So I gave him the finger as I walked past him when getting off.

    Kids these days have no manners.
    You should beat the shit out of him with a belt

    This will teach him how to behave properly

  7. #87
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    You might be right but in particular after the substantial passage of time and having moved on and out as an adult it seems like a pretty shitty thing for a person to do to their father.
    The way that worthless excuse of a father treated his daughter was pretty shitty, don't you think?
    Have you ever thought that she couldn't reveal what happened when she was younger because of imminenet harm coming down on her?
    She might have had to wait for such a time as she did only to have some sense of security that exposing that sick fuck for what he is would not put her in harm's way once again.
    That man IS NOT entitled to any treatment that should be afforded to the good Fathers of this world.
    He is a psychopath, a spouse abuser, and a child abuser.
    He deserves to be HANGED.

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  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    The way that worthless excuse of a father treated his daughter was pretty shitty, don't you think?
    No.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Have you ever thought that she couldn't reveal what happened when she was younger because of imminenet harm coming down on her?
    She might have had to wait for such a time as she did only to have some sense of security that exposing that sick fuck for what he is would not put her in harm's way once again.
    That man IS NOT entitled to any treatment that should be afforded to the good Fathers of this world.
    He is a psychopath, a spouse abuser, and a child abuser.
    He deserves to be HANGED.

    Drama.

  9. #89
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Drama.
    You consider someone's opinion to be "drama"? What exactly is "drama" to you? Should I consider the story you told about your situation, to be "drama"?

    Are you not considering the other evidence in the case, other than what the alcoholic, abusive father said, in your assessments and judgments? Or are you painting this story as a projection of your own life, and pretending that the mother's and daughter's stories have no truth to them? If you dismiss evidence, I don't see how you can believe you are being realistic. That's just lala-land.
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  10. #90
    Senior Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    Everyone sees this as a bad thing, but I really see this as an opportunity to launch a strong reelection campaign, or even further his career. I even took the liberty to come up with a slogan.

    "Vote for William Adams for Arkansas State Senate Really crackin' down the whip when it comes to internet piracy."

    "Some of those liberal, tree-hugging free spirit hippies in the northern states see the internet as nothin' more then a no-accountability, free handout oasis for tradin' movies, music, and nudie pictures. Down here in Arkansas, we don't hand out fines or disconnect yer service: We take a more traditional Approach."

    "If elected, my first official act will be to introduce new policy aimed at targeting these internet cyber bandit perpetrators residin' in this fine state. Download a song? That's a Paddlin'. Downloadin' a movie? That's a paddlin', plus a night in 'the hole'. And if we catch you downloadin' both at the same time? We'll tie you to the back of the truck and take you for a little ride."

    Also, I'm waiting for it to surface that this guy is actually a lobbyist for the MPAA and the RIAA.

    Ok, My conscience is starting to kick in. I'm just gonna stop here.

    EDIT: I felt really guilty while watching this, but I felt even more guilty for laughing at his pronunciation of bed into "bayd".
    "I'm just here so I won't get fined."

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