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  1. #1
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    The Guts of the Last Priest

    When the last politician is strangled with the guts of the last priest, the USA will leave Iraq.

    But no, the politicians remain unstrangled and the priests have kept their guts, and still the USA is leaving Iraq, lock stock and barrel.

    But instead the USA is coming to Oz. And we welcome them with open arms, recognizing they need a quick and easy victory to restore confidence.

    But where, ask the warlords, are we the most strong, where are we most unchallenged? And the answer came back, on the sea.

    And we notice China, our rival, is claiming sovereignity over the islands in the South China Sea, islands so low they disappear at high tide, but beneath them lies a vast wealth of oil and gas - a worthy prize.

    We also notice China has targeted our aircraft carriers with ballistic missles, so we can't use the carriers. So we have built stealth tri-marans to operate in shallow water, loaded with lethal weapons and hi-tech electronics.

    And the Aussies can help with their diesel electric submarines, designed to operate in litoral waters.

    I mentioned all this to my confessor the other day, and left him clutching his stomach, lest his guts be put to better use.

  2. #2

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    WTF

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Pepto-Bismol.

  4. #4
    Ginkgo
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    I don't get it.

  5. #5
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    I feel like you're making a lot of really great points here, @Victor. I would, however, like to interject in order to bring up the dangers of the Irukandji jellyfish. The Irukandji is a native to the northern waters of Australia, and--as you may have guessed--can kill you.

    In addition to being one of the most venomous creatures in the world (approx. 100 times more venomous than a cobra), the Irukandji has a bell of only 5mm making it virtually invisible to those who may be nearby.



    It is unique among jellyfish in that it has stingers on its bell in addition to those located on its tentacles. While not all those who are stung by the Irukandji are not killed outright, its toxin can create a condition called Irukandji syndrome. As described by Wikipedia:

    The symptoms, however, gradually become apparent and then more and more intense in the following 5 to 120 minutes (30 minutes on average). Irukandji syndrome includes an array of systemic symptoms including severe headache, backache, muscle pains, chest and abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, sweating, anxiety, hypertension, tachycardia and pulmonary edema.One unusual symptom associated with Irukandji syndrome is a feeling of "impending doom". Patients have been reported as being so certain that they are going to die that they beg their doctors to kill them to get it over with. Symptoms generally abate in 4 to 30 hours, but may take up to two weeks to resolve completely.
    The condition is rarely fatal, but if immediate medical action is not taken, within only 20 minutes the victim could go into cardiac arrest and die. I just want to conclude with a brief video from NatGeo about the Irukandji.

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws5hImeonEA"]Box Jellyfish-Irukandji[/YOUTUBE]

    Victor, I'd like to thank you again for making this thread, and your continued dedication to raising awareness about Australia's lethal fauna. Your passion and activism are truly an inspiration to us all. Thank you.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    When the last politician is strangled with the guts of the last priest, the USA will leave Iraq.

    But no, the politicians remain unstrangled and the priests have kept their guts, and still the USA is leaving Iraq, lock stock and barrel.

    But instead the USA is coming to Oz. And we welcome them with open arms, recognizing they need a quick and easy victory to restore confidence.

    But where, ask the warlords, are we the most strong, where are we most unchallenged? And the answer came back, on the sea.

    And we notice China, our rival, is claiming sovereignity over the islands in the South China Sea, islands so low they disappear at high tide, but beneath them lies a vast wealth of oil and gas - a worthy prize.

    We also notice China has targeted our aircraft carriers with ballistic missles, so we can't use the carriers. So we have built stealth tri-marans to operate in shallow water, loaded with lethal weapons and hi-tech electronics.

    And the Aussies can help with their diesel electric submarines, designed to operate in litoral waters.

    I mentioned all this to my confessor the other day, and left him clutching his stomach, lest his guts be put to better use.
    I like the first and last line.

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