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  1. #21
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    ^^^
    I don't think this is the status quo for students in the United States either.

    I guess I just don't see paying off student loans quickly with large chunks of cash as some kind of mandatory human need, like eating or having shelter. I think this circumstance is absolutely ridiculous to be honest. Sure, debt sucks and credit is important.. but it's not life shattering. Plenty of people with crappy credit function every day in the US. Plenty of people not even lucky enough to attend college still manage to eat and survive, every day. Infact, the majority.

    See, there are alot of things someone can do to avoid selling their ass. And maybe it's not real fun, or pretty, or easy. Maybe it requires moving back in with mom and dad, or selling your car and taking public transport, or taking a job that eats your soul like the rest of us cubicle farm victims. Maybe it requires one to set their image aside, live moderately.. go without a blackberry and internet connection, fancy duds and cappuccinos. Whatever.

    Like i said, it's all about prioriites and re examining what seems to be an inflated sense of "quality of life". I scoff at those that are like.. "oh.. that is SO sad.. how TERRIBLE to resort to selling your cooter for student loan money. CLEARLY she must have had NO alternative." BS. There is always an alternative.

    I've only got so much empathy and 'victim of circumstance' to go around.. and i can tell you that it usually goes to people rotting from the inside out with colon cancer at 34, or child beggers in india that mutilate themselves for money. You know, people with real problems.

    I notice that she is a "full-time" student. Not working. I notice she has her own pad in Harlem. Even the bad areas aren't "cheap". I notice she had internet access, a mobile to keep in touch with her friend. I notice she was able to afford "revealing clothing" and had the technology to uplaod pictures of herself. Obviously she hasn't looked at stripping those luxuries to save herself from "destitution".

    "she rubbed sunscreen into the folds of his sagging back"


    I guess I just have a dark sense of humor.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member Vizzy's Avatar
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    And that's why I can't feel sorry for these students. They have alternative choices but they want the quick and easy way out. I know it's very easy for me to make such a matter-of-fact statement, but I'm sure I would NOT even entertain the idea of doing the same thing. If self-respect doesn't rank that high on their list of priorities, then whatever. If they themselves don't see it as a loss, why should I?
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  3. #23
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vizzy View Post
    And that's why I can't feel sorry for these students. They have alternative choices but they want the quick and easy way out.
    While they clients want a quick and easy way in.

    If they themselves don't see it as a loss, why should I?
    Pretty much.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  4. #24
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vizzy View Post
    If they themselves don't see it as a loss, why should I?
    Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

  5. #25
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I see myself in the future.
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  6. #26
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    This is disgusting--is this where we ended up, after years of fighting to be taken seriously? These ladies need to have a little self-respect.
    Something Witty

  7. #27
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    It's easy to judge others and claim self-respect when you have it, and have had it. Some people have no idea what self-respect is. I think that's enough reason to feel bad for them.
    I see the point that possibly they should do what I do, and not choose to sleep with men for money, but I am blessed with self-respect. Some people aren't. Money makes no difference, when it comes to self-respect. There are those with money who have none, and those without money who have none. Self-respect is not something money can buy. I don't understand why it's ok to judge others just because they have money, but not ok to judge the prostitutes who have none. I think that most prostitutes do have other options.... many don't see them, but many do. It seems like the people who prioritize money as being the most important, aren't also necessarily the people who have it. Somehow, it seems that some people believe that money buys everything.

    I don't understand how judging them could lead to anything good, in this particular situation. It seems to only reinforce their stance; to make them defend the very thing that is unhealthy and wrong for them.
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  8. #28
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    I wonder what they say if they ever need to explain where the money came from, or how they managed to pay off their debt?

    What gets me is the rationalisation of it as 'something other than prostitution'. If the only way you can live with what you're doing is to lie to yourself about it, it's got to be bad for your psyche. If the girls were happy to say 'yes, it's sex work/prostitution', then at least they've honestly come to terms with it and it really doesn't matter to them.

  9. #29
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    One point the article raised was the fact that they're able to make so much money that it's hard for them to go back to a regular job, or to dating regular guys after experiencing life as a sugar baby. That's also something I saw in a documentary I watched about prostitutes...many of them had legit jobs, but they discovered they could make a lot more money turning tricks, and they just went with that and never looked back until years later when their lives kind of trainwrecked and it all caught up with them.

    It is disturbing that some of them are just calling it something different, not able to own up to the fact that selling your body for money is, in fact, prostitution, whether you're seeing one client a day or five, whether the guys are rich or poor, whether you're online or working the street.

    I know some people don't have great self-esteem/respect. However, the girls described in this article aren't rebelling against daddy, or reacting to being abused as children or date-raped. They're seeing an opportunity to make a lot of money in a short time. No different, to me, than deciding to deal drugs because you want a lot of money without earning it the usual way. These are, in many case, Ivy League undergrads. Where is the disconnect happening for these women? They're studying to be financial analysts and doctors and lawyers, and they have no problem sleeping with a gross old rich dude for cash to achieve their goals. They want to reap the benefits of years of feminism by doing things that set women back to the Stone Age. Based on the description in the article, I don't have a lot of problem judging their choices. They could choose to go to a cheaper school, and get, I don't know...SCHOLARSHIPS? If you've been accepted to an Ivy League school, I don't think you'll have any trouble getting a full-ride to a state school.
    Something Witty

  10. #30
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sciski View Post
    What gets me is the rationalisation of it as 'something other than prostitution'. If the only way you can live with what you're doing is to lie to yourself about it, it's got to be bad for your psyche. If the girls were happy to say 'yes, it's sex work/prostitution', then at least they've honestly come to terms with it and it really doesn't matter to them.
    Good point, and seems to be common amongst sex workers. There is a high level of denial, when many times, it's not needed. I think the one most important issue for sex workers is that they have boundaries and respect their own boundaries, and they maintain control, to call their own shots. When it gets out of hand in this manner, that's when the most damage seems to occur. It's a service job..... for many, no more and no less. I think it's possible for many to do it and receive very little damages, but those people are good at choosing the right customers, and they know themselves and where to draw their own lines. They demand what they need.

    Many don't know their boundaries, and so they allow them to be crossed. They are in abusive relationships with their clients, and that's why the denial is taking place.... along with the fact that people tend to brainwash their kids into believing sex work is akin to murder lolol, so the only way they can do it is to lie to themselves....... I think some women also need to see it as more than just sex to get through it.
    -------------
    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    However, the girls described in this article aren't rebelling against daddy, or reacting to being abused as children or date-raped. They're seeing an opportunity to make a lot of money in a short time. No different, to me, than deciding to deal drugs because you want a lot of money without earning it the usual way.
    It's just sex. At the end of the day, the only people they are harming are themselves, and drug dealers hurt a lot more people than just themselves... I've certainly had my share of one-night-stands, so who am I to judge.......I do see your point with them wanting fast, easy money .... the problem I think is that most of us won't have sex with others, for money. And there's where it seems that something is wrong there....... I think a lot of sex workers claim they do it for the money, so these girls are no different in that respect. That doesn't mean they aren't damaged, that they didn't suffer at the hands of someone early-on. There's a lot more under the covers that alot of sex workers don't show. It seems to be common for sex workers in general to say they weren't abused or molested, and that could be part of the denial.

    We don't know the background of these women, and we don't know them...... so I assume we can't make a mental judgment or assume we do know them. It's just a news article...... sure, they might be cashing in and it may seem foolish to us, but that's all we know. Rich people are victims of abuse just like poor people. Mental health and intelligence are two different things and not connected the way it may seem to be. Some people whiz through college while they are extremely unhealthy emotionally. EQ and IQ are two completely different things, just like intelligence and street smarts are two totally different things. I think it's easy to assume that money = health, but that's not true. Nor is it true that rich people aren't ever abused.

    In other words, I wouldn't consider any of these girls to be the picture of health. Who knows where the disconnect occurred, but it seems to be in the family.
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