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  1. #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I think parents should have the respect of their children. I don't think spanking them would be the best way to do this.
    That's funny, I respect my grandfather more than most human beings, and he swatted me on the heinie a couple times as a small child.

    My mother also spanks, lightly, when children are under a certain age, and she has maintained the deep respect of my 13 year old nephew.

    I don't think choosing to spank or not to spank determines respect, I think it's overall protection, education, provision, safety, security, and love provided.

    And that includes discipline. I really can't stand people who don't discipline their kids. I seriously want to punch those people.

  2. #182
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    That's funny, I respect my grandfather more than most human beings, and he swatted me on the heinie a couple times as a small child.

    My mother also spanks, lightly, when children are under a certain age, and she has maintained the deep respect of my 13 year old nephew.

    I don't think choosing to spank or not to spank determines respect, I think it's overall protection, education, provision, safety, security, and love provided.

    And that includes discipline. I really can't stand people who don't discipline their kids. I seriously want to punch those people.
    I don't get the thing about spanking.

    People say it's not harmful if done lightly/just a swat, but isn't the whole idea that it's supposed to be painful? Otherwise you're just feeling the kid up.
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  3. #183
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    That's funny, I respect my grandfather more than most human beings, and he swatted me on the heinie a couple times as a small child.

    My mother also spanks, lightly, when children are under a certain age, and she has maintained the deep respect of my 13 year old nephew.

    I don't think choosing to spank or not to spank determines respect, I think it's overall protection, education, provision, safety, security, and love provided.

    And that includes discipline. I really can't stand people who don't discipline their kids. I seriously want to punch those people.
    Not spanking does not imply no discipline.

    But why can't we discuss these things dispassionately? These topics are hot-button because people take them personally and read all kinds of things into the other side's opinions, as if because they have certain ideals that they think people who don't share them are evil and bad. I don't spank my kids. My parents spanked me. My mother thinks it's some kind of indictment of her parenting that I've chosen not to spank her grandkids. It's not, not at all. I love her and I think she did an awesome job and I wasn't hurt by the occasional swat on my ass.

  4. #184
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Okay, I'll throw in my sentiments. It actually took me a long time to figure out I was circumcised, and I'm kind of bothered that I was.

    Anyhow, about parents having the choice over their babies. How would all of you feel about parents deciding to have their child's ears or pinky fingers cut off?
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  5. #185
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Here's the story that changed my mind about spanking. I know it's just an anecdote and there are a thousand logical rebuttals to it, but it sat on my heart when I read it.

    a story told by Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking

    "Above all, I believe that there should never be any violence." In 1978, Astrid Lindgren received the German Book Trade Peace Prize for her literary contributions. In acceptance, she told the following story.
    "When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor's wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn't believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking--the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, 'Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock that you can throw at me.'
    All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery--one can raise children into violence."
    I think that too often we fail to feel situations "from the child's point of view," and that failure leads us to teach our children other than what we think we're teaching them.
    And that was the day I knew I was an INFP.

  6. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    I don't get the thing about spanking.

    People say it's not harmful if done lightly, but isn't the whole idea that it's supposed to be painful?
    We learn from pain. Learning algebra is painful, but it's probably in your best interest. So is realizing that hot stove hurts when it's hot.

    As long as it's not the kind of pain that leaves marks, and it's not the only method of discipline used, I think it's okay. More than okay. IMO, it's necessary in children below the age of reason.

    @ Ivy ...I don't care if other people don't spank their children, I said I care if they don't discipline them. I know there's a difference. If other people don't want to spank their kids, that's fine, as long as they've managed to somehow effectively discipline their child otherwise.

    And by the same token, I think spanking should be a choice that parents should have, just as they have a choice to opt out of it.

    I'm glad I was spanked, 'm glad my sisters, nieces and nephews were spanked, and I've met many people from homes where there was spanking who seem like they're better for it.

  7. #187
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    How would all of you feel about parents deciding to have their child's ears or pinky fingers cut off?
    Lol. Neither of those are vestigial like foreskin, so the analogy doesn't really work.

    What percentage of men are bothered by, or even give a seconds thought to the fact that their circumcised?

    How many would be bothered by the fact that their ear or pinky got cut off?

    We learn from pain. Learning algebra is painful, but it's probably in your best interest. So is realizing that hot stove hurts when it's hot.

    As long as it's not the kind of pain that leaves marks, and it's not the only method of discipline used, I think it's okay. More than okay. IMO, it's necessary in children below the age of reason.
    It's kind of like the atomic bomb, if used correctly it only has to be used once.

    I had done some shitty thing or other when I was a kid (prob 9 or 10) and my mom slapped me in the face.

    She only ever had to do that once.

  8. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Anyhow, about parents having the choice over their babies. How would all of you feel about parents deciding to have their child's ears or pinky fingers cut off?
    Not too long ago they crushed the feet of girls in china to make their feet fit too small shoes and make them walk awkwardly to look helpless as a woman should. We consider it barbaric.

  9. #189
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    For example, I know a three year old at the moment, I'm just going to throw this in as one last thing, and she isn't spanked.

    She constantly tests limits, laughs at adults who say "hey don't do that" like she knows they're not going to do anything, even when she tells other adults to fuck off, she just gets put in time out.

    That kid needs her ass busted.

    /out before flurry of angry replies

  10. #190
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    We learn from pain. Learning algebra is painful, but it's probably in your best interest. So is realizing that hot stove hurts when it's hot.

    As long as it's not the kind of pain that leaves marks, and it's not the only method of discipline used, I think it's okay. More than okay. IMO, it's necessary in children below the age of reason.

    @ Ivy ...I don't care if other people don't spank their children, I said I care if they don't discipline them. I know there's a difference. If other people don't want to spank their kids, that's fine, as long as they've managed to somehow effectively discipline their child otherwise.

    And by the same token, I think spanking should be a choice that parents should have, just as they have a choice to opt out of it.

    I'm glad I was spanked, 'm glad my sisters, nieces and nephews were spanked, and I've met many people from homes where there was spanking who seem like they're better for it.
    IDK. I've never been spanked, so I watched a porn clip once to see what an official spanking entailed. My fucking god. That shit would put anyone in a shrink's office.
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