User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 23

  1. #1
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,877

    Default Where do you draw the line with preventing bullying?

    What inspired it: http://news.yahoo.com/video/health-1...rgery-24902719

    No right and wrong answer here.. I just want some opinions. This woman said adults are the worst (ouch?! I can't imagine.. I'd deck someone bullying a small kid..) but she got her 7 year old plastic surgery (nothing WAY MAJOR, the ears got 'adjusted' to be more 'normal') to avoid bullying and self-esteem issues.

    Here's the question line-up for those who like structured answers.

    To what extent would you go to to prevent bullying for your children? (Or hypothetical children if you don't have any.)
    Do you think the mother is justified in her reasoning? The little girl seemed to be okay with it now.. would she regret this decision later in life?
    If you find this all okay.. where would you draw the line when it comes to preventing bullying, and teaching your child and children around yours self-acceptance?
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  2. #2
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    8,023

    Default

    Sounds to me like this is more of an issue with the mother, than the child. Bet if you dig deeply enough, her mother was teased.

    As far as Samantha's ears are concerned, they didn't look that bad to me and most of the time, she had her short hair covering them so no one would have noticed.

  3. #3
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,482

    Default

    Ehhh... tricky issue. I really don't think the girl will regret the surgery later in life, but there is a chance that the girl will solve problems by taking the path of least resistence and by conforming as opposed to taking pride in her self and developing character.

    I do worry about bullying, especially with my son, who's not very assertive and worse.. being INTP But that's a problem beyond the realm of science. I've always let my kids know that it's important to tell adults if there are bullying problems in school, but ultimately they have to learn to take care of themselves because parents and teachers aren't always around, and the best way to stop bullying is to show that you won't be pushed around.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    HUMR
    Enneagram
    6 sx
    Socionics
    iNfp Ni
    Posts
    1,521

    Default

    Take every possible route for them to develop a good self-esteem, and the ability to shake off others nasty opinions. (Much easier said than done ofcourse.) Plastic Surgery is a quick fix. What happens next month when they are not tall enough? Have too many freckles? Suck at sports? Teaching your child to embrace who they are and how to resist negative feedback is extremely important. Plastic Surgery would be absolute last resort, I'm just not sure I'd go the route at all. Who's to say this kid might not have overcome this bullying crap and grown to love their ears? Maybe they'd feel it gave them charactor. Maybe it would have made them stronger. Obstacles are opportunity for growth. You can grow yourself or grow your doctors paycheck. The key to that is in your self perception. Huge dangers in conforming to society.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    2,841

    Default

    I'm somewhat torn on the issue; on the one hand, the plastic surgery will grant the girl an easier and more comfortable socail life with little harm involved, yet on the other hand, bullying is so out of control that it has forced people to conform away from their natural selves.

    I suppoe under these specific circumstances, it may have been better for the girl to get that ear sugery for the utilitarian benefit that it gives her, but bullying in general is getting way too out of hand in our society.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    2,739

    Default

    We could equip all citizens with an ideology of The Golden Rule. All citizens must enforce the rule at all times. Failure to enforce the rule or breaking the rule is unacceptable. You would feel outcast, and you would be looked down upon. People might walk by you in the middle of the day and grunt "prick". This might make the perpetrator feel bad, and serve as a deterrent, but I doubt it.

  7. #7
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    8,023

    Default

    Not every has conformed and not everyone gets bullied or if people try, it doesn't last very long. Why?

  8. #8
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,482

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Not every has conformed and not everyone gets bullied or if people try, it doesn't last very long. Why?
    Bullying is about establishing a social pecking order. It's unfortunately perfectly natural to people. Targets aren't the ones that are necessarily different, but the ones that make attractive victims, show deferring behavior. It's all wild kingdom out there.

  9. #9
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    8,023

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlippoth View Post
    Bullying is about establishing a social pecking order. It's unfortunately perfectly natural to people. Targets aren't the ones that are necessarily different, but the ones that make attractive victims, show deferring behavior. It's all wild kingdom out there.
    bullying is so out of control that it has forced people to conform away from their natural selves
    My comment was actually directed to this comment about it being so out of control.

    But yes, I agree it's all about a social pecking order. If you watch documentaries about any pack animal, there are hierarchies which aren't always purely strength related. Having said that, if a child of mine ever got bullied, he/she would learn pretty quickly how to push back without needing to resort to physical violence. Parents need to take a more active role in ensuring their children know how to handle bullies without needing to resort to plastic surgery, unless the disfigurement is extreme. In this case, I don't even consider the child's ears a disfigurement.

  10. #10
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,482

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    My comment was actually directed to this comment about it being so out of control.
    Ah, I see.

    But yes, I agree it's all about a social pecking order. If you watch documentaries about any pack animal, there are hierarchies which aren't always purely strength related. Having said that, if a child of mine ever got bullied, he/she would learn pretty quickly how to push back without needing to resort to physical violence.
    FYI, I don't advocate violence except in self defense situations. Often all it takes to keep the predators at bay is a sense of humor and the right body language.

    Parents need to take a more active role in ensuring their children know how to handle bullies without needing to resort to plastic surgery, unless the disfigurement is extreme. In this case, I don't even consider the child's ears a disfigurement.
    I thought that girl's ears were cute. I'm sure the some of the 'bullying' adults thought so as well.

Similar Threads

  1. How do you see the world with happy eyes?
    By Anew Leaf in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 12-12-2012, 01:03 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO