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  1. #71
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    Well thats a point. It doesn't make it right by any means nor does it decrease the seriousness of "child abuse"; Its rather annoying/frustrating when a bunch of self-righteous people, judge someone else for committing a crime they themselves have committed before( and possibly continue to commit). There is no justice in that.
    Sure there is. There is nothing fundamentally unjust about a hypocrite's judgment. The injustice wold be that if the hypocrite's actions were exposed, that he or she did not bring the same scorn upon him or herself. There isn't a person alive who isn't a hypocrite in some way - it's required to stave off the cognitive dissonance that arises from our joint self-interested and social drives.

    What's more is that you don't know for sure whether those judging have engaged in the same behavior. That argument is the close relative of the deflection of the guilty - "you shouldn't punish me, my crime is so insignificant compared to wars, terrorism, states oppressing their citizens, etc."

  2. #72
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Putting it in the nose isn't as bad as the eyes. I can see her now unable to keep from laughing as she grimaces through the cliché, "this hurts me more than it hurts you".
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  3. #73
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Sure there is. There is nothing fundamentally unjust about a hypocrite's judgment. The injustice wold be that if the hypocrite's actions were exposed, that he or she did not bring the same scorn upon him or herself. There isn't a person alive who isn't a hypocrite in some way - it's required to stave off the cognitive dissonance that arises from our joint self-interested and social drives.

    What's more is that you don't know for sure whether those judging have engaged in the same behavior. That argument is the close relative of the deflection of the guilty - "you shouldn't punish me, my crime is so insignificant compared to wars, terrorism, states oppressing their citizens, etc."
    I completely agree, I should've clarified more, you made the point I wanted to make, but with better wording.

  4. #74
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    it doesn't seem like a particularly bright solution, but i'm not sure it really qualifies as abuse.

    the hot sauce, i mean. and at least it's related - if you lie with your mouth, your mouth will hurt afterwards. at least it makes a little bit of sense. cold shower doesn't really make sense to me at all, and i think that's meaner.

    better to get to the bottom of why your child is lying and address it from there, but, of course, that is more easily said than done. the psychologist's statements are a little overwrought, honestly. it's punishment within operant conditioning more than abuse. i mean, not that it's really loving or effective, either, but too much coddling and the kid is going to run the relationship instead of vice versa (and i know this scenario all too well). however, the psychologist should also know that reward is shown over and over again to be more and more consistently effective than punishment.

    imo, the mother should:
    cut it out with the food and water, start a reward system for good behavior instead, and get a new hairstyle.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar
    How about hitting a child with a cucumber in the vegetable section of a grocery store?
    No, I am not kidding. It happened.
    It never ceases to amaze me what parents do to their kids in public.
    0_o;

    that is truly bizarre.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    imo, the mother should:
    cut it out with the food and water, start a reward system for good behavior instead, and get a new hairstyle.
    Now we're talking sense here!

  6. #76

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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlippoth View Post
    Are you speaking from experience?
    No, why do you ask?

  7. #77
    ThatGirl
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    I can't believe you guys don't think burning is abusive?

    Haven't you ever seen a kid who eats a hot chip?

    A) Their taste buds are much more sensitive than ours, so what may be a 'little' sting for an adult certainly is much more to a child.

    B) The effects of any kind of burn linger far longer than just being able to remove the source of pain. If you have ever eaten something truly spicy, you know once it gets to a certain point, no milk, water, bread, anything can help ease the pain.

    C) Not only is child getting hot sauce in the mouth, it is being asked to hold it there in order to maximize the effects.

    In my opinion it is a cruel and unnecessary punishment. It is meant to cause suffering not to make a point, and any parent who wants or is okay with seeing a child suffer for a prolonged amount of time, should be given thorough examination. I guarantee a mentality like that, leaks into other areas.

  8. #78
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    [hysterical rant]
    Thank you for sharing your parenting wisdom, TG.

    One thing you might want to remember about punishment: In order for it to have any effect, it's got to be unpleasant.

  9. #79
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    It's a burning sensation. It doesn't literally burn/harm the child.

  10. #80
    ThatGirl
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    Unpleasant, doesn't mean suffering.

    If you cause an effect that you can't stop when the child decides to behave you have acted beyond your means. The message is never heard, or understood, and the child grows up resentful rather than understanding.

    Also, my rant wasn't hysterical, but thank you for teaching me about the laws of punishment. I will be much wiser next time.:rolli:

    God that emoticon is really starting to grow on me.

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