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  1. #51
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    that would not have worked on me as a child, I LIKED hot sauce... my parents tried to get me to quit biting my nails by painting THEM with hot sauce and I licked it off... and to show how much it backfired, I bite my nails to this day I ate hot sauce for FUN as a kid, so I'm mystified as to how that's considered abuse really
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #52
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    I bite my nails too (to include my toe nails).

  3. #53
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I prefer to keep my toenails creepily long... I'm not that flexible anyways
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #54
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Is getting hot sauce onto the tongue of a struggling child worth the effort?
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  5. #55
    ThatGirl
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    I believe this is a prolonged and forced suffering, which I would classify as abuse.

    How is it any different from burning your kid with a cigarette? Just because it doesn't leave a permanent mark?

    Spanking is meant to shock and bring attention so that a point can be made. Causing a child to suffer needlessly is abuse.

    This also would never work with my kid, I have to put hot sauce on his mac and cheese or he wont eat it.

  6. #56
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Seems to me like the rules need to be laid out very clearly, and consequences made explicit and regular. It's when the punishment seems capricious and based more on the parent's anger and outrage than the actual conduct, that problems begin to develop. Punishment must be done dispassionately, as a sort of obligation; otherwise, you're sending the message that it is correct to punish something for making you angry, rather than for violating a rule. If that means punishment is delayed until you've cooled off, that's fine. I know this can be difficult, and children often don't understand the distinction between being sent away because you're mad at them, and being sent away because you're mad, period.

    If the kid does something you thought "there didn't need to be a rule against," well, you can't punish for that, but you can add to the list, and let it be known what the consequences will be next time. Along with this, the rules must apply to you as well, because an "I'm the parent, you're the child" attitude does nothing but breed hostility toward authority, rather than teach the difference between legitimate and illegitimate authority. All care should be taken to ensure that the consequences are followed exactly, without time off for good behavior - you can't send the message that one must do good to make up for bad (which instills a transactional concept of behavior); rather, that doing good is what's expected, but being sure to heap on the praise and reward for it.

    The most important thing is, even though you don't lord it over them, to remember that you're the adult, and they're the children. You're the one with ultimate responsibility, not them, and you're the one with the necessary psychological development to handle the sorts of things that the kids just don't have a grasp of yet. Mirroring the kid's emotions do neither of you any good. Finally, a blanket prohibition against "back-talk" is a recipe for disaster - chances are, if it's pissing you off, it's because the kid's accurately calling you out on your bullshit. That's one of the most important teachable moments - showing them that a mature adult accepts criticism, and either provides a reasonable explanation, or corrects his/her behavior accordingly. The idea is demonstrating that adults practice self-regulation and self-control. That being said, if a kid's just pushing boundaries, no reaction goes much farther than a strong reaction - you're showing confidence in your own authority.

    None of this is easy, and much of this will break down in practice, because dammit, we're human. However, the most important thing to remember is that kids, for a long time in their development, have very little understanding that the outside world, and people other than Mommy and Daddy, have their own needs, desires, opinions, and intentions. The world isn't just their playground, where they're free to do whatever pleases them at the moment. This especially includes lashing out when upset.

  7. #57
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    It bothers me because now the kid will have negative associations with hot sauce! That aint right.

    I think there are probably better ways to teach children about lying. In the abstract at least, I also don't think it is right to punish someone physically for something that is a primarily emotional problem. I just don't get the logic... "You lied, now your mouth should burn!" But she lies too, because everyone does. It all just seems silly.

  8. #58
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I believe this is a prolonged and forced suffering, which I would classify as abuse.

    How is it any different from burning your kid with a cigarette? Just because it doesn't leave a permanent mark?

    Spanking is meant to shock and bring attention so that a point can be made. Causing a child to suffer needlessly is abuse.

    This also would never work with my kid, I have to put hot sauce on his mac and cheese or he wont eat it.
    Here's my god damn contribution, teeg:

    Hot sauce is not the same as burning a child with cigarettes... Last I checked, people were dousing their buffalo wings with HS and stuffing them down their fat mouths, and all with a shit eating grin on their face. I have never seen someone eat a lit cigarette or burn themselves unless they deal with serious emotional/psychological issues. Why? Because we're talking serious pain, with eternal marks. The burn of hot sauce is comparable to the sting of a spanking. It lasts a short while and serves the purpose of conveying the message: you do something wrong, you get burnt. Don't like getting burnt - don't do something wrong. Nutritional benefits of hot sauce: vitamin A, C, beta-carotene, and other antioxidants.

  9. #59
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Not very effective except to cause resentment.

    But like some of the other posters, I remember getting much worse as a kid. Being beat with an arrow, switches...hell whatever was handy at the time. At least it was never for lying...I got beaten for being too honest.

  10. #60
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    I resent a lot of parenting techniques for various reasons, but that doesn't mean they're inhumane necessarily.

    I think critiquing this woman's disciplining methods is reasonable, but for it to get nation wide attention and for people to think something trivial like this warrants taking a child from their parent... lol.

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