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  1. #161
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm honestly a little surprised to see anyone defending the actions of the mother in the OP. I don't know that it rises to the level where foster care is a better option, but it's pretty disgusting IMO.

    Having said that- for several years I was a parenting genius and agreed completely with onemoretime. That was when I had one kid. The other one has schooled me pretty hard. We still don't spank but the strategy onemoretime described is just not sufficient at all times for him.
    Hot sauce punishment does sound ridiculous. I don't have any kids, so I don't completely understand the challenges, but I can only imagine the solutions are not always as simple as they seem. I'm guessing different personalities, different set of challenges. Sounds like some parents get a little too creative, as in the case with saucey mom.

  2. #162
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Can I be honest, and say I'm actually a little confused. I'm not sure if the mothers actions are abuse or not. I need more information. It's not some thing I'd choose to punish a kid, but then I have a lot of traumatising memories involving childhood punishments, so unless any child of mine turns out to be a little challenging on the disipline side of things, I'm going to be on the indulgent side of the fence (within reason). I've had experience handling kids, although not my own. Some kids are easy, all you have to do is look disappointed, others need incentives both rewards and punishments. ADD/hyperactive kids are fun, let me tell you. And learning thier behaviours, and what signals potential trouble often helps, but I guess parents have an inbuilt advantage there.
    It's also my experience, that the most compliant, well mannered kids often suffer the most abusive punishments at the hands of their parents, and are often maladjusted in adult life.
    One of the most cruelest punshiments I have ever witnessed, was when a teacher of mine made a very little girl of 5/6 hold a spider in a jar (I was about 11). She was terrified. I can't even remember what she did... You could hear her screaming three class rooms down where my class was. Her parents took her out of school the next day.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

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  3. #163
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I understand. I identified with the positive communication techniques and long-term benefits. This isn't the first time I've gotten side-tracked up on my soapbox and rambled on aimlessly about spankings. I'm so proud. Yes, I needed them!
    I agree that positive reinforcement is generally better than negative reinforcement. But there are times negative reinforcement is necessary. That's all I was trying to point out.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  4. #164
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Hot sauce punishment does sound ridiculous. I don't have any kids, so I don't completely understand the challenges, but I can only imagine the solutions are not always as simple as they seem. I'm guessing different personalities, different set of challenges. Sounds like some parents get a little too creative, as in the case with saucey mom.
    Many parents have difficulty controlling their own behavior. They punish out of anger (which is what it looks like the woman in the video is doing). That's a much bigger problem than her method, IMO.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  5. #165
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ^ Well said.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  6. #166
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Many parents have difficulty controlling their own behavior. They punish out of anger (which is what it looks like the woman in the video is doing). That's a much bigger problem than her method, IMO.
    Yes, exactly. Agreed 100%.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #167
    Senior Member lowtech redneck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm honestly a little surprised to see anyone defending the actions of the mother in the OP. I don't know that it rises to the level where foster care is a better option, but it's pretty disgusting IMO.
    I was actually only defending the hot sauce in the mouth as punishment for lying; ice-cold showers are potentially dangerous, and so are another story entirely.

    I can understand someone who is opposed to spanking being opposed to hot sauce, but what I can't understand is why anyone who thinks spanking is appropriate punishment would be strongly opposed to hot sauce.

  8. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
    Many parents have difficulty controlling their own behavior. They punish out of anger (which is what it looks like the woman in the video is doing). That's a much bigger problem than her method, IMO.
    ^

  9. #169
    XES 5231311252's Avatar
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    Does it work without causing severe harm to the child? Do the alternatives not work? If yes to both questions, I see no harm in this form of punishment. Would I do this to a child? No.
    “'Fuck', I think. What a beautiful word. If I could say only one thing for the rest of my life, that would be it.”

  10. #170
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    The overwhelming agreement that the hot sauce IS abuse has me wondering about another situation...

    My father told me a story about when he was about 12-13 years old. He tried smoking a cigarette for the first time... And his father caught him. His father made him EAT the entire cigarette, filter and all. And he never touched a cigarette again.

    Is that child abuse?
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

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