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  1. #71
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I'm with the dad. I've done something similar minus the language. I got on the bus one morning and asked my daughter to show me who was bothering she and my son on the bus. I then told the bus driver that I would not tolerate this behavior and that I would be speaking with the principle. I also told her that I would not allow them on the bus again. The kids were called into the office and spoken to. Not sure what happened after that but mine haven't been back on the bus.

    I realize that the driver has no way to supervise kids while she is driving which is why my kids aren't on the bus. There's no fucking way she can do both!

    I will also say that bullying in schools hasn't gotten better. Most of the teachers don't give a shit so I have to rely on my kids to tell me what's going on and so far thankfully they do. This year we're lucky because my older two have excellent teachers but who knows what will happen next year.

    Anyway I wish the best for this man and his daughter. I hope there is some way they can get her off the bus and drive her to school. It's so hard to see your kids suffer. It's instinct as a good parent to defend your young!
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  2. #72
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    Man, that's messed up. My best friend's daughter has cerebral palsy. He's talked about it before that one of his biggest fears is her getting bullied in school.

    She's only four years old right now... and my friend's a lot crazier than that guy. He's gonna be a lot less forgiving.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Blown Ghost's Avatar
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    Wow there are definitely better ways he could have handled this than to terrorize an entire bus full of kids. What a loony.

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by INA View Post
    People are bullied to death with schools doing little to stop it. What exactly are parents to do?
    Not much, apparently. The counselor who came on at the end of the clip said that parents are supposed to teach their kids to "be in control." In other words, it's the cerebral palsy 11 year-old's problem to deal with seven bigger kids picking on her, I guess.

    I would homeschool before I'd allow any child of mine to go through that.

  5. #75
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    imo, good for that dad. i don't think he should've threatened killing - that's excessive - but it really isn't your school's responsibility - nor is it even within their abilities, really - to discipline kids. the school's job is to teach them. yes, of course some minor discipline goes along with that. but it's not obedience school. anyway, since the bully's mother was such a doormat, then obviously it's about time that kid faced the natural consequences of being an asshole.

    -

    more on bullying in school ---

    i worked for a while as a guidance counseling intern at a public school, and bullying was an enormous problem that we were working on confronting. it's NOT that teachers don't give a shit. it's NOT that counselors don't, and it's NOT that principals don't. but it's NOT the school's primary job to discipline kids! and hot damn is it hard to address.

    first of all, bullying has to be caught, because most kids won't report it themselves. i totally understand why not, but it's not helping anything either. and US educators are pushed to the breaking point by the idiotic government which somehow demands excellence from students and teachers but refuses to fund schools, so educators generally have 20 other things to be doing besides bully watch all day. not to mention that devoting all that attention to bullies would be totally counterproductive. they should not be reinforced like that.

    second, it is often done by one or two children, but it is achieved via implicit group approval. try and talk to one child, and they go home and whine to their parents, who do something nutty like go straight to the principal (who probably has very little knowledge of the situation if any, honestly), or try to drag more kids into it, saying that "well my child says it wasn't just her, it was her and ___ too!" so then you have a posse of angry parents who may group up to fight you. they go to the principal, who would prefer to quell drama because they have PR interests at mind, and placates the parents. not to mention TONS of liability and policy shit.

    or maybe everything goes really ideally and the kids are able to talk it out and then return to their classes. but then, once the situation is done, are the kids even really okay again? no. the situation went public, people are talking about people again, social hierarchies are breaking and being reestablished, etc. and the cycle starts again. it's terrible, yes. and i think people should be called out on it more often. but schools are not at a liberty to do so - nor should they be expected to, as again, it's really not their job - especially due to legal restrictions.

    though, fortunately in my state, we have a new bullying law. after 3 strikes, or one really severe incident, it becomes a legal matter. and let me tell you, no parent really wants their middle schooler to end up with a felony. so it's helping.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    it's NOT that teachers don't give a shit. it's NOT that counselors don't, and it's NOT that principals don't. but it's NOT the school's primary job to discipline kids!
    Schools don't want parents coming onto campus to protect their kids because when kids are in school it's the school's job to take care of the kids -- but schools won't/can't protect victims from bullies because bullying is a parental discipline problem. So it's catch-22 with kids caught in the middle. No wonder parents are outraged to the point of this Dad.

    If schools can't control bullying, then they have no business requiring compulsory attendance. If they're going to force kids to be there, they should be obligated to make sure it's a safe environment while they're there.

  7. #77
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coconut View Post
    Schools don't want parents coming onto campus to protect their kids because when kids are in school it's the school's job to take care of the kids -- but schools won't/can't protect victims from bullies because bullying is a parental discipline problem. So it's catch-22 with kids caught in the middle. No wonder parents are outraged to the point of this Dad.

    If schools can't control bullying, then they have no business requiring compulsory attendance. If they're going to force kids to be there, they should be obligated to make sure it's a safe environment while they're there.
    yeah, i agree with you here. it really is a problem.

    the issue is of course that parents, if allowed onto school grounds, will start being bullies themselves for the sake of their kids. i have seen it in action and it's awful. the dad in question bordered on it... more appropriate would have been to go to the child's parents' house and chew them out.

    still, i'm hopeful about the bullying-as-a-legal-matter policy. it's a huge incentive to stop kids from having that kind of behavior.

  8. #78
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Bullies need to be confronted. But threatening death, that's pretty freakin' extreme. He even threatened the driver.

    I think it comes down to what others have said: he did the right thing, but the wrong way.
    You lose.

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