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  1. #41
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Taking her to school everyday won't stop the bullying in school itself either. The bus is just one piece. So what then? You'd take your kid out of school entirely??
    The solution is to sue the school district and demand the placement of attendants on school buses to assure the safety of all children. The bus driver cannot keep a watchful eye on the road and monitor the students' behavior at the same time. Why community leaders can't foresee these problems ahead of time, amazes me. All schools around the nation need to pony up and spend the money to create a safer environment. There is no price that is too high to protect a child's well-being - both emotionally and physically. The extra money that would be required to fund the effort would be far less than the litigation costs spent on the increasing number of lawsuits already filed, every single year. This situation needs to be used as a catalyst for sweeping change across the entire country.

  2. #42
    (blankpages) Xenon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    There is a girl on my fifth grader's bus that has been getting teased for years. My son told me they were saying she had Amber Germs and that she had head lice and that she washes her hair with dog shampoo. He came home upset about how she was being bullied. When I called the school about it, they brushed me off and tried to blame the girl for it.
    This is so typical. It pisses me off. Schools are so quick to blame the victim. Well, he should fight back or something. Well, he should just try to keep out of their way. Well, she should just ignore them and walk away; by reacting she's just giving them what they want. Well, she should stand up for herself instead of just walking away; silently walking away demonstrates passivity. Well, victims should try harder to fit in. Well, they shouldn't try so hard to win others' approval; that shows they care what others think of them. Why is it always the victim's fault? Because that means they don't have to take any responsibility? :rolli:

    I had a junior high teacher who would stand there on playground supervision and watch others verbally degrade me, as if it were some fascinating TV show. He later said in class that only "weak people" get picked on, and named some kids who didn't get picked on because they were "strong".

    I don't know all the details of this situation. Yeah, he shouldn't have threatened the bus driver and all the kids on the bus. But if he'd tried to talk to the school before and got no results (which seems to be the norm), then I don't blame him at all for coming in and threatening the bullies.

  3. #43
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    The solution is to sue the school district and demand the placement of attendants on school buses to assure the safety of all children. The bus driver cannot keep a watchful eye on the road and monitor the students' behavior at the same time. Why community leaders can't foresee these problems ahead of time, amazes me. All schools around the nation need to pony up and spend the money to create a safer environment. There is no price that is too high to protect a child's well-being - both emotionally and physically. The extra money that would be required to fund the effort would be far less than the litigation costs spent on the increasing number of lawsuits already filed, every single year. This situation needs to be used as a catalyst for sweeping change across the entire country.
    And where is this money coming from?

    Suing the school district will only make the problem worse.


    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well...I'm sorry but I generally do reason this way. Of course "desired effect" includes "not harming any other kid" etc.
    Sorry, my response was needlessly insulting.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    And where is this money coming from?

    Suing the school district will only make the problem worse.
    Maybe when you get older you'll learn how to take action and effect positive change.
    Having said that, after your behavior last night I have no interest in carrying on any type of conversation with you. It's pointless.

    Good Luck.

  5. #45
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    And where is this money coming from?

    Suing the school district will only make the problem worse.
    It's coming from their liability insurance. Sadly, lawsuits are the only thing many businesses and institutions fear, so I disagree. The pressure of civil suits has brought about quite a few changes, for good and for ill. It might work for good in this situation. Little else seems to work.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #46
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Maybe when you get older you'll learn how to take action and effect positive change.
    Having said that, after your behavior last night I have no interest in carrying on any type of conversation with you. It's pointless.

    Good Luck.
    Ah, so my questions are invalid because of your feelings for me. Put me on ignore if you're just going to use the Ad Hominem Fallacy over and over.

    I was asking a serious question. How do you propose the schools add services when they're losing resources? (Especially if you sue them to get them to change...)

  7. #47
    Member Cheshire Grin's Avatar
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    I am all-of-a-sudden reminded of the time one of my friends wanted to go and "touch that really cute duckling" in the creek. He managed to get pretty darn close as well, until the mother duck went completely nuts at him and tried to peck his face off. Needless to say we won't be trying something like that again anytime soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    The only way to knock a bully down a few pegs is to give the same back to him.
    Yeah this. If you were a bully and got your kicks out of making fun of other people you're probably not the kind of person who's going to submit to "talking nicely about improving the manners." Sometimes conventional school punishments just don't cut it, unfortunately.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It's not the best way to deal with it by any means. However, sometimes the school just won't address the issue. I've had kids in public school for six years and I don't think my kids have gone through too much of that stuff, but I know of other kids who do go through it for years.
    It seems kind of hypocritical to me how the schools I've been to place so much stress on respecting peers and accepting each others' differences (and of course, the "bullying is NOT tolerated at this school!" statement.

    What I've seen though is teachers turning a blind eye (even when it's happening right in front of them!) and yes, blaming and punishing the victim for lashing out after they'd been putting up with the bullying for months. I mean what the hell, mate.

    Quote Originally Posted by blankpages View Post
    This is so typical. It pisses me off. Schools are so quick to blame the victim. Well, he should fight back or something. Well, he should just try to keep out of their way. Well, she should just ignore them and walk away; by reacting she's just giving them what they want. Well, she should stand up for herself instead of just walking away; silently walking away demonstrates passivity. Well, victims should try harder to fit in. Well, they shouldn't try so hard to win others' approval; that shows they care what others think of them. Why is it always the victim's fault? Because that means they don't have to take any responsibility? :rolli:

    I had a junior high teacher who would stand there on playground supervision and watch others verbally degrade me, as if it were some fascinating TV show. He later said in class that only "weak people" get picked on, and named some kids who didn't get picked on because they were "strong".
    Reading this pissed me off. It's not that easy to just "ignore them and walk away." That teacher sounds like an asshole. Often when the victim tries to stand up for themselves they just get made fun of even more. Also to me, a kid who goes to school every day and puts up with the name-calling and teasing is a lot "stronger" than a bully or someone who has no idea what it's like.
    The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. --A. Rand

  8. #48
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, teachers are swayed by popularity too.

    I don't really know what I would have done in the situation, I guess. Probably just move.

    Then again, that doesn't really fix the problem.

    No idea.

  9. #49
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    My thoughts with 4 kids that ride the school bus and personal history of being bullied mercilessly in elementary school. (although I never took the bus)

    The school bus can be a nightmare, there is one adult tasked with keeping the kids safe while driving and keeping order. There were some issues with the school bus and a teacher actually told me that she tried to get a bus issue dealt with when her kid was in school but the only real solution is to drive the kid yourself. We drive our kids to school every morning just to avoid the morning bus - they used to take it and it's so crowded now it's really a problem for them.

    My daughter has a friend who is a boy and who gets teased for playing with girls. The kids at the school know me and think I'm nice. (I volunteer). When I saw one of the boys who my daughter said was doing the teasing I told him nicely to stop it and that I didn't want to hear that he did it again. My daughter says he never has. It was two years ago and they were in fourth grade. Unless it's a big gang or a teacher says something from the front of a class a parent getting involved probably isn't going to cause more teasing. It scares the kids in a good way to have a parent address them specifically on issues. I think it scared him even more that I'm a "nice" parent.

    The only real negative I see, after thinking for a few minutes, is that there are other children on that bus who didn't pick on that girl who were probably terrified that the father was acting like that. My girls would be very scared, even the almost 13 year old. My seven year old is a very tender little girl and that would pretty much terrify her. In the long run I would hope that I would hear about it and be able to explain it to my children and explain why bullying really is serious enough to get reactions like that. But in the short term, my kids would be very scared.

    People who weren't bullied don't always understand what it was like so they just assume that it's not a big deal. I've always made it a big deal, my kids know that if I ever find out they were picking on someone they are in deep crap. Many parents don't do that so their kids think it's just a sort of not good thing to do. These are usually the kids that need to be scared by an adult into taking it more seriously.

    Unless something comes out later that wasn't in this article I applaud the father for being involved enough to know something was going on and addressing it head on.

    edit: This quote is where it goes bad.
    'He said he was going to (expletive) the bus driver up first, and he (then) he was going to do it to everybody else,' - The kids that weren't doing anything shouldn't have been threatened. Although I understand stress and fear on the part of a parent, you don't threaten innocent children. The chances that everyone was doing it was low. Of course, even the "good" kids would tease me as a child so maybe something like this might have helped.

  10. #50
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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