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  1. #51
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    they are, but I think it makes a kid stronger if they DO learn to stand up for themselves...
    Well, sure, it makes them stronger. So does a daily beating with a big stick, but I don't do that to my kids.

    And what if they don't learn to stand up for themselves? Then what have you done?

  2. #52
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    So... what do you think is a parent's role in fostering a child's worldview?
    my parents sat back and let me go through multiple phases of worldview until I came to the one that I'm still sticking with

    I had no clue what their stances were on anything until I had graduated! My parents come from different backgrounds, so they let thier children decide on thier own through their own educations (and a lot of reading!)
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #53
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    my parents sat back and let me go through multiple phases of worldview until I came to the one that I'm still sticking with

    I had no clue what their stances were on anything until I had graduated! My parents come from different backgrounds, so they let thier children decide on thier own through their own educations (and a lot of reading!)
    They provided you with no guidance whatsoever?

    I'm sorry.

  4. #54
    Sniffles
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    My parents were laid back too as to which worldview Id have. Although they did insist that I be a decent respectful person, whatever my beliefs would be.

    Parents do need to lay the foundations for their kids intellectual and personal growth, but after a certain point it's necessary to let them be.

  5. #55
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Well, sure, it makes them stronger. So does a daily beating with a big stick, but I don't do that to my kids.

    And what if they don't learn to stand up for themselves? Then what have you done?
    I'm of the opinion that most people have no spine whatsoever They have to experience adversity to be able to realize what sort of person they are... if they sink then it's because they don't care enough about that issue.

    That's just socialization- the force that has kept us ticking as a cohesive society since humans first started roaming in packs... it may hurt if it's your kid who dyes thier hair street cone orange and gets a few facial piercings, but they'll grow out of it... everyone I know has. It's live and learn really

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    They provided you with no guidance whatsoever?

    I'm sorry.
    I'm HAPPY to have gotten my own worldview! It's all MINE and know it!

    I'm pretty independent and have been all of my life- the very idea of having someone "guide me to finding what I think" is pretty horrifying to me... I was left to read, argue and observe my way to what I think now

    it makes me happy that I had that opportunity!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #56
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    That's just socialization- the force that has kept us ticking as a cohesive society since humans first started roaming in packs... it may hurt if it's your kid who dyes thier hair street cone orange and gets a few facial piercings, but they'll grow out of it... everyone I know has. It's live and learn really
    Socialization existed before public schools ever existed, and exists outside of a school setting anyways. So this doesn't argue for much.

  7. #57
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Socialization existed before public schools ever existed, and exists outside of a school setting anyways. So this doesn't argue for much.
    yes, but it'll make it a lot easier for them to fit in in the real world or college if they've had common experiences with the other kids!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #58
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    yes, but it'll make it a lot easier for them to fit in in the real world or college if they've had common experiences with the other kids!
    I'm confused here. If the whole point of socialization is to develop the strength to stand on your own convictions, then what possible value is there to 'fitting in'?

  9. #59
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    I'm confused here. If the whole point of socialization is to develop the strength to stand on your own convictions, then what possible value is there to 'fitting in'?
    you can stick to your own convictions and develop strength

    it still doesn't mean that you don't want to bond with others and have friends!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #60
    Oberon
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    Well, no problem then. My children have lots of friends.

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