I'll give an example of what I mean:
I know quite a few vegetarians and vegans. I was raised on a farm that kept and slaughtered animals, but as a vegetarian for medical reasons that became obsolete by the age of 16. I chose at 18 to eat meat, for long and hard thought-out reasons of my own that I still believe in.
Most veggies and vegans I know are cool. They're not preachy or militant, they just make their choice and stick with it, and don't judge or comment on other people's choices.
But there are also quite a few who behave in this way: you have to respect their veggie/veganism. You have to support it, and not make snide or disparaging remarks about it. You have to listen when they tell you (often unsolicited) their reasons, and whether you agree or not, you're not to say anything bad about it because that would be "intolerant". If you counter one of their reasons with an opposing reason of your own as to why you eat meat, they get het up and highly emotional about it, and it becomes an Argument, wherein they object to your lack of respect for their views.
Meanwhile, they're allowed to rant, moralise and criticise the entire concept of eating meat whenever they like, wherever they like. They're allowed to say, amongst a group of friends, most of whom eat meat, how physically sick and disgusted they felt at seeing the hog roast at the fair, and how they can't comprehend what level of moral bankruptcy would make a person accept that "travesty" as a normal part of life, much less partake in it. IOW, they're allowed to claim the moral high ground and try to make others feel guilty, or like they have to justify their choices to them. And that's okay.
I experienced a similar thing many times as a white Muslim in the UK, where this made me a member of a majority, "infiltrating" a minority. I had to sit countless times and listen to my people, my home and the culture I grew up in, bad-mouthed in the most ignorant and bigoted of ways, and I was expected to agree. And yet, if I as a white person had said anything negative about Islamic culture amongst these people, I'd have been branded "racist" and "intolerant", however valid my point might've been.
Has anyone else encountered other examples of this? How do you handle it? What reaction does it cause in you?
I've a feeling that there's a particular kind of personality that's prone to this sort of behaviour; it requires a particular worldview that, I think, transcends MBTI type etc., but I'm having trouble thinking of what to pin it down to.
I'm tired of being put in the dock by these sorts of people in these sorts of situations, and I'm wondering if anyone might have found a way of dealing with it that doesn't involve either defending a choice you shouldn't have to defend, pretending to agree with something you don't, or keeping your mouth shut and allowing somebody to badmouth your principles and get away with it.
Or is it just that when your choice happens to coincide with the majority, you just have to accept that members of minorities will approach you with chips on their shoulders from time to time, automatically seeing you as "the enemy" and believing that they know your reasons for your choices?